OT: Dead Duck
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Please post political post in the new Politics forum.
- Modoc ED
- Advanced Levergunner
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OT: Dead Duck
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," replied the vet.
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room.
He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.
A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," replied the vet.
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room.
He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.
A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."
- GonnePhishin
- Senior Levergunner
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Re: OT: Dead Duck









"The beauty of the second amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it." - Thomas Jefferson
"I know not what course other men may take, but as for me, Give me Liberty or Give me Death!" - Patrick Henry
"I know not what course other men may take, but as for me, Give me Liberty or Give me Death!" - Patrick Henry
Re: OT: Dead Duck



Kind regards,
Tycer
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Tycer
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- Senior Levergunner
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Re: OT: Dead Duck
HA!! That was pretty funny!



A man's admiration for absolute government is proportionate to the contempt he feels for those around him.
Alexis de Tocqueville
Alexis de Tocqueville
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Re: OT: Dead Duck
Yeah, I lol'ed. 

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- Borregos
- Advanced Levergunner
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Re: OT: Dead Duck




Pete
Sometimes I wonder if it is worthwhile gnawing through the leather straps to get up in the morning..................
Sometimes I wonder if it is worthwhile gnawing through the leather straps to get up in the morning..................
Re: OT: Dead Duck


Mike Johnson,
"Only those who will risk going too far, can possibly find out how far one can go." T.S. Eliot
"Only those who will risk going too far, can possibly find out how far one can go." T.S. Eliot
Re: OT: Dead Duck
Well I'll be! A "clean" joke that was mighty funny.
-----------Sixgun


This is Boring & Mindless……Wasted Energy
- Ysabel Kid
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Re: OT: Dead Duck
Few and far between, aren't they?Sixgun wrote:Well I'll be! A "clean" joke that was mighty funny.![]()
-----------Sixgun
