OT: Dead Duck

Welcome to the Leverguns.Com Forum. This is a high-class place so act respectable. We discuss most anything here ... politely.

Moderators: AmBraCol, Hobie

Forum rules
Welcome to the Leverguns.Com General Discussions Forum. This is a high-class place so act respectable. We discuss most anything here other than politics... politely.

Please post political post in the new Politics forum.
Post Reply
User avatar
Modoc ED
Advanced Levergunner
Posts: 3332
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 11:17 am
Location: Northeast CA (Alturas, CA)

OT: Dead Duck

Post by Modoc ED »

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," replied the vet.

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room.

He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.

A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."
ED
Image
Yer never too old
User avatar
GonnePhishin
Senior Levergunner
Posts: 1952
Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2008 11:23 pm
Location: Bodecker's BBQ Bar & Grill

Re: OT: Dead Duck

Post by GonnePhishin »

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
"The beauty of the second amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it." - Thomas Jefferson

"I know not what course other men may take, but as for me, Give me Liberty or Give me Death!" - Patrick Henry
User avatar
Tycer
Advanced Levergunner
Posts: 7759
Joined: Sun Sep 02, 2007 10:17 am
Location: Asheville, NC

Re: OT: Dead Duck

Post by Tycer »

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Kind regards,
Tycer
----------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.saf.org - https://peakprosperity.com/ - http://www.guntalk.com
JustaJeepGuy
Senior Levergunner
Posts: 1079
Joined: Thu Nov 13, 2008 10:13 pm
Location: Colorado

Re: OT: Dead Duck

Post by JustaJeepGuy »

HA!! That was pretty funny! :lol: :lol:
A man's admiration for absolute government is proportionate to the contempt he feels for those around him.

Alexis de Tocqueville
familyman357
Levergunner
Posts: 12
Joined: Tue Feb 26, 2008 11:47 am
Location: Northwest Ohio

Re: OT: Dead Duck

Post by familyman357 »

Yeah, I lol'ed. :D
User avatar
TedH
Advanced Levergunner
Posts: 8361
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2007 5:19 pm
Location: Missouri

Re: OT: Dead Duck

Post by TedH »

:lol: :lol: :lol:
NRA Life Member
Chuck 100 yd
Advanced Levergunner
Posts: 6972
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2007 8:52 pm
Location: Ridgefield WA. USA

Re: OT: Dead Duck

Post by Chuck 100 yd »

:D :lol: :lol: :lol: :D
User avatar
Borregos
Advanced Levergunner
Posts: 4756
Joined: Thu Sep 13, 2007 7:40 am
Location: Ontario, Canada

Re: OT: Dead Duck

Post by Borregos »

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Pete
Sometimes I wonder if it is worthwhile gnawing through the leather straps to get up in the morning..................
rjohns94
Advanced Levergunner
Posts: 10820
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 6:02 pm
Location: York, PA

Re: OT: Dead Duck

Post by rjohns94 »

:lol: :lol: shared that one
Mike Johnson,

"Only those who will risk going too far, can possibly find out how far one can go." T.S. Eliot
Sixgun
Posting leader...
Posts: 19269
Joined: Sun Sep 16, 2007 7:17 pm

Re: OT: Dead Duck

Post by Sixgun »

Well I'll be! A "clean" joke that was mighty funny. :D :D -----------Sixgun
This is Boring & Mindless……Wasted Energy
User avatar
Ysabel Kid
Moderator
Posts: 28614
Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2007 7:10 pm
Location: South Carolina, USA
Contact:

Re: OT: Dead Duck

Post by Ysabel Kid »

Sixgun wrote:Well I'll be! A "clean" joke that was mighty funny. :D :D -----------Sixgun
Few and far between, aren't they? :lol:
Image
ceb
Levergunner 3.0
Posts: 533
Joined: Sun Sep 09, 2007 9:04 am
Location: Southern Illinois

Re: OT: Dead Duck

Post by ceb »

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Post Reply