Blaine...no pun in ten did

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alnitak
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Location: Virginia

Blaine...no pun in ten did

Post by alnitak »

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent..

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says,
"I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his
arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well, It's Not Unusual."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.
Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly.
"It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman.
The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day,
but I couldn't find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied,"I know, I amputated your arms!"

13. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"

16. Two men sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.
Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in
the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour,
the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why," they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said. "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

18. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in
Egypt , and is named 'Ahmal.' The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him
'Juan.' Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon
receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a
picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds: "They're twins! If you've seen Juan,
you've seen Ahmal."

19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,
which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also
ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a
super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

20. A dwarf, who was a mystic, escaped from jail.
The call went out that there was a small medium at large.

21. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns
to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them
laugh. No pun in ten did.
"From birth 'til death...we travel between the eternities." -- Print Ritter in Broken Trail
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TedH
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Location: Missouri

Re: Blaine...no pun in ten did

Post by TedH »

:D :D :D
NRA Life Member
Pete44ru
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Joined: Sun Sep 02, 2007 7:26 am

Re: Blaine...no pun in ten did

Post by Pete44ru »

.

WOW ! That's over the top ! ROTFLMAO ! ! . :mrgreen:

.
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gamekeeper
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Re: Blaine...no pun in ten did

Post by gamekeeper »

Good ones..... :lol:
Whatever you do always give 100%........... unless you are donating blood.
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GonnePhishin
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Posts: 1952
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Re: Blaine...no pun in ten did

Post by GonnePhishin »

Yup.
"The beauty of the second amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it." - Thomas Jefferson

"I know not what course other men may take, but as for me, Give me Liberty or Give me Death!" - Patrick Henry
Les Staley
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Location: Idaho panhandle/Wyoming

Re: Blaine...no pun in ten did

Post by Les Staley »

Just read these to my wife and put her in a good mood....she's now making me huckleberry pancakes. Thanks!
This is plagiarized from someone else, but I love it!

I was born a gun owner.
It wasn't a choice.
I didn't become one later in life.
I was born this way.
3leggedturtle
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Posts: 4145
Joined: Fri Dec 21, 2007 11:34 am
Location: north of Palacios about 1400 miles

Re: Blaine...no pun in ten did

Post by 3leggedturtle »

I had Tom Jones album had Ebb Tide and Puppet man on it. Can't re,mber the album's title tho.

A guy put 2, 6 foot CB antanneas on his Dodge van back in the 70's, he was driving under an overpass and one the antannae's hit the concrete and broke off flying thru the air. It skewered a pedestrian walking by, so he called an ambulance to get him to the ER, the Doc took one look at him and said " that is the worst case of van-arial disease I have ever seen :shock:


edited: I just got play on words in your Topic's title :lol:

edite #2: Know why the lady fish didn't spawn with the man fish? Because she already had a Haddock :roll:
30/30 Winchester: Not accurate enough fer varmints, barely adequate for small deer; BUT In a 10" to 14" barrelled pistol; is good for moose/elk to 200 yards; ground squirrels to 300 metres

250 Savage... its what the 223 wishes it could be...!
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Blaine
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Re: Blaine...no pun in ten did

Post by Blaine »

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
The Rotten Fruit Always Hits The Ground First

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JerryB
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Location: Batesville,Arkansas

Re: Blaine...no pun in ten did

Post by JerryB »

GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANKS
JerryB II Corinthians 3:17, Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.

JOSHUA 24:15
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Griff
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Re: Blaine...no pun in ten did

Post by Griff »

But one in 21 did.
Griff,
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NRA Patron
GUSA #93

There is a fine line between hobby & obsession!
AND... I'm over it!!
No I ain't ready, but let's do it anyway!
Gobblerforge
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Re: Blaine...no pun in ten did

Post by Gobblerforge »

Get a rope. :lol:
Click Click Boom
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Ysabel Kid
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Re: Blaine...no pun in ten did

Post by Ysabel Kid »

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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