The 2020 Darwin Awards are out!!!!

[Old No7]

What a hoot!

Except for the very last line, that is.........

Old No7

Here are the undisputed winners for 2020:

1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Provo, Utah, would-be robber Jason Ellison did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And now, for the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped... Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. A teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. (If someone points a gun at you but gives you money, is a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back from the window and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on CCTV.

8. As a female shopper exited a South Carolina convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The store clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

* And for the “5-Star Stupidity Award Winner *
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on an Atlanta street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

*** Remember... They walk among us -- they vote -- and they breed!!!***

[3leggedturtle]

Nice heart warming tales that are true!

[GunnyMack]

#4- that guy can think on his feet, just hope he was smart enough to move away!

[gamekeeper]

[FWiedner]

.

Except for #1 and #3, these strike me as dumbest criminal type things, and not worthy of inclusion among the Darwin Awards.

I thought that an awardee had to be removed from the gene pool to qualify for a Darwin Award.

[JOG]

That bus driver story cracked me up! That's just what I would have done!

[1894cfan]

#4...shoulda made the delivery, THEN gone for beer!

[GunnyMack]

We should take up a collection to get the bus driver here to the states, let him do the bus route around the capitol !

[piller]

We should take up a collection to get the bus driver here to the states, let him do the bus route around the capitol !

Just tell the passengers that it is a BLMy ANTIFA rally.

[AJMD429]

That bus driver story cracked me up! That's just what I would have done!

Yep that was the best one.

[JOG]

If the bus was full of BLM members they would have never been let out of the mental ward even after the mistake was discovered!
I support BLM Biden's Laptop Matters!

[Bruce Scott]

.

Except for #1 and #3, these strike me as dumbest criminal type things, and not worthy of inclusion among the Darwin Awards.

I thought that an awardee had to be removed from the gene pool to qualify for a Darwin Award.

Correct.

"The Darwin Awards commemorate individuals who protect our gene pool by making the ultimate sacrifice of their own lives: by eliminating themselves in an extraordinarily idiotic manner, thereby improving our species' chance of long-term survival. In other words, they are cautionary tales about people who kill themselves in really stupid ways, and in doing so, significantly improve the gene pool by eliminating themselves from the human race."

https://darwinawards.com/rules/

[Ysabel Kid]

Always love these! Chronicles of Biden voters!