Should be at least one small smile in these ...
American psychologists have isolated two fundamental reasons why men frequent bars.
1) They don’t have a woman.
2) They have a woman.
Ah, the modern days. I just saw a grandpa help a youngster who was staring into his phone to cross the street.
What is the worst combination of illnesses?
Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running, but can’t remember where.
A man walks into a police station and announces, “My wife’s gone missing.”
The police officer says, “OK sir, we’ll help you. Since when has your wife been missing?”
The man replies, “Since about a month ago.”
The police officer is shocked, “What? A month?! Why on Earth are you coming only now?!”
“Well… I’ve no clothes to put on anymore.”
What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Roberto!
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theatre.
When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."
The man groaned but didn't budge.
The usher became impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."
Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager.
In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police.
The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?"
"Sam," the man moaned.
"Where ya from, Sam?"
With pain in his voice Sam replied "The balcony."
Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. However, all the league records were unfortunately destroyed in a fire.
Thus we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
