Father's Day

[Shrapnel]

Born on a homestead in Eastern Montana in 1910, raised in the traditional way of frontier Montana. Educated in a 1 room rural school. He was drafted in February of 1942, sent to the Philippines for the entire duration of World War II. He came home to no parade and no job that he left. He sought no help from the government or anyone else and got a job and went on with his life.

My heroes have always been Cowboys...

[Griff]

Aye. The quiet continuation of life. My Dad, a bit younger, but much the same.

[jeepnik]

Post WW II, before marriage, house & kids. Before the war he worked the local beach with a Good Humor push cart. He still knew the drivers and I can remember lots of free ice cream as a kid.

[CowboyTutt]

Perhaps this is the right place for me to post what I sent to some close friend's today. "It was a reasonably nice day today although I didn't get done what I wanted to this weekend. I did make a long "to do" list before I leave for Ukraine and that will be helpful and I did write some needed letters to my friends there. I finally ventured out about 130 pm to Safeway to get some pre-made dinners for a few days. I bought 3 soups and some bread. I have this special project I'm doing for my new boss and she is paying me 5 extra days wages for it and I should have the check just before I leave for Ua. Really I was the only one left capable of doing it here as after John R. left for San Diego I have the most experience and expertise in writing behavior plans.

While I was in Safeway some kids came buy carrying a really cool cake in different shades of dark blue. I commented it was a really cool cake, and the little girl ran up to me (her brother was the one carrying the cake) and she said "It's Father's Day!!!!!" Then she got this confused look on her face, and she asked me, "Why aren't you with someone for Father's Day?" I told her "Well, its very sad but my Dad died many years ago." Just then her Mom came by and wondered who this guy was who was having this positive interaction with her kids. She did not hear the last part, only saw that her kids were very excited talking to this stranger. She thanked me as she walked by. She was apparently Hispanic as I heard her talk to them in Spanish afterwards. I came around the corner not long after them and heard the little girl telling her Mom about what I had said and that my Dad had died. I didn't linger around long enough to hear the response. The fact that such a small child could have so much compassion is reassuring to me. They must be good kids and well raised.

I decided to spend a moment to think about Dad and honor him as it is Father's Day after all as I walked to my car after check out. He died back in '98 of a heart attack that could have been prevented but he was a Captain in a commercial airline and if he didn't pass his physical every 6 months, he would have lost his job for medical reasons. So he did what they all do in the airlines, and sought superficial tests and corresponding care to pass.

What surprised me was still after 17 years the "old grief" welled up and I found myself just shy of sobbing as I got in the car. The pain seems as bad today as it did 17 years ago, and whenever I think about my Dad, it all comes up again!!! How can that be???

As I'm driving home I'm groaning with the pain in my chest that feels very real.

Loosing a parent is probably the most traumatic event that we could ever face as adult children, to lose our parents. The only thing worse would be for a parent to lose a child I think.

I will be OK by morning but I am feeling very sad for the rest of the day now.

I haven't felt this way in a long time because I do not choose to look at my grief. I know it is always there waiting for me like some kind of personal black hole. But these sweet kids got the better of me. And because of them, I wanted to pay my respects to my Dad only to find that black hole still exists and is very crushing.

Just wanted to share my experience with peers who I know would understand. I miss my Dad. Those of us who have already lost, we all do. Eyes not dry.

Regards,

-A-"

[AJMD429]

What surprised me was still after 17 years the "old grief" welled up and I found myself just shy of sobbing as I got in the car. The pain seems as bad today as it did 17 years ago, and whenever I think about my Dad, it all comes up again!!! How can that be???

As I'm driving home I'm groaning with the pain in my chest that feels very real.

Loosing a parent is probably the most traumatic event that we could ever face as adult children, to lose our parents. The only thing worse would be for a parent to lose a child I think.

I will be OK by morning but I am feeling very sad for the rest of the day now.

I haven't felt this way in a long time because I do not choose to look at my grief. I know it is always there waiting for me like some kind of personal black hole. But these sweet kids got the better of me. And because of them, I wanted to pay my respects to my Dad only to find that black hole still exists and is very crushing.

The feelings are never gone, but with time, they get layers of "more pressing matters" on top of them, so don't get to the surface as often. Nothing wrong with that; it's just called 'healing'. Takes time.

Probably a good idea even after years go by to dig down into the bottom of the 'things-to-think-about' pile and dredge that stuff up and work through it. Partly as a sign of respect to the passed, partly as a way of re-learning some small tidbits and experiences they may still have to share posthumously, and partly, just so you remain human...

Thanks for sharing.

[CowboyTutt]

Thanks Doc. That is truly good advice. I appreciate it. I have been probably "dodging the bullet" for too long now. Time I own up maybe. Thanks for the advice, I do appreciate it.

Regards my friend.

-Tutt

[firefuzz]

My wife and I left my families father's day celebration at Mom's today for a short, 3 mile drive to the cemetery Dad's buried in. Although Dad's a vet I don't go there on Memorial Day, but I haven't missed a Father's day since he died in '08, but today's the first time I've taken anyone with me. Figured it was time that Dad got to meet Kelly and all, at least formally.

I had placed a can of Dr. Pepper, Dad's favorite drink, on his headstone and there was a pleasant breeze so the heat didn't seem too bad as we talked about our Dad's, I was standing next to Kelly at work when she got the call that her Dad had passed. Pretty soon I felt my throat start tightening up as it usually does when I'm there and I knelt down by Dad's side just to be close.

It couldn't have been more than a few minutes that I felt something cold touch my elbow. I turned and looked and a hound dog pup about 6 months old was standing by me looking like he didn't know weather to come on up or run. I gently reached out and rubbed his ears and was suddenly covered up with him and two more just like him. Plain ole hound dog mutts were Dad's favorite breed of dog. They had come from the house across the road and as Kelly and I looked over there here came two chickens and a duck.

They all walked around Dad's headstone sniffing and pecking, seemingly right at home with all three of the pups lying down on Dad's grave. Kelly went to shoo them away but I told her Dad had whistled them up to lighten up the minute and to show me he wasn't lonely. When we left the animals were all still there keeping Dad company.

Tutt, I miss my Dad every day, but I don't morn him anymore. I think our Dad's want us to remember them with a smile, not tears as you and I are prone to do. I think Dad reminded me of that today.

Rob

[Walker]

Here's to our Fathers. Buried mine 5 years ago today. Wish I'd moved back home after the Navy and spent more time with him.

For you fellows with kids, job well done.

[Booger Bill]

Dad would have been a 102 a couple of days ago. He made almost 90, died in 2003. I had great parents.

[fordwannabe]

It was a tough day on me also thought about my Dad and how much I miss him. My 22 year old son came over and gave me a wonderful Fathers day gift - He spent a half a day helping me clean the shed out back so I got to spend a half day with one of my best friends ...and got a cleaned shed that's a win win in my book. My biggest regret on this day is my Dad never got to meet this kid. Love and miss you Dad.