OT: We're Doomed....

[LeverBob]

I thought I should share this with you just to illustrate what we're up against...

IDIOT SIGHTING:


We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not. Four is larger than two..."

We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill... Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "You gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but we cannot do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.


IDIOT SIGHTING:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."

From Kingman , KS


IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

From Kansas City

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.


IDIOT SIGHTING:

The stop-light on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine.. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS ..


IDIOT SIGHTING:

I attended a "good-bye" luncheon for an old and dear co-worker. She was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that "deer-in-the-headlights" stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.


IDIOT SIGHTING:


I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office, no less.


IDIOT SIGHTING:

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side."

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , MS ........


IDIOT SIGHTING:

When I left Hawaii and was transferred to FL, I still had the Hawaiian plates on my car, as my car was shipped from Hawaii . I was parking somewhere (I can't remember) and a guy asked me "Wow, you drove from Hawaii to here?" I looked at him and quickly said "Yep. I took the Hawaii/San Francisco Bridge." He nodded his head and said "Cool!"

STAY ALERT!

They walk among us...
and they VOTE...
and they REPRODUCE

...my wife Nan runs the student store @ Carson City H.S. The leadership kids can't make change & can't read an analog dial clock. Post some of you're own if'n y'all like...

Glad I'm a Christian...

LB

[pwl44m]

About 4 yrs ago My Wife and I met some Army Buddys in Pidgeon Forge Tenn. Dolly Wood was one of the places We visited ( U know where all Dollys kinfolk work) I went to a stand to get a couple bottles of water @$1.50 ea. The young Gal had to use a calculator to figure up what I owed Her.

[Sixgun]

Personally, comparing those responses with the guys I work with make yours look like Einstein wrote 'em. (for real)

I believe its all Bill Klinton's fault, you know, the "dumbing down of America".

My daughter, who has a masters degree in bio-chemistry once asked me (about 5 years ago) if Pennsylvania was a state or a country. I nearly punched her mother in the face. --------------------------Sixgun

[jeepnik]

Personally, comparing those responses with the guys I work with make yours look like Einstein wrote 'em. (for real)

I believe its all Bill Klinton's fault, you know, the "dumbing down of America".

My daughter, who has a masters degree in bio-chemistry once asked me (about 5 years ago) if Pennsylvania was a state or a country. I nearly punched her mother in the face. --------------------------Sixgun

Oh, it started before clinton. I'm of the opinion that my generation is the last that started out by learning the three R's. How can we expect to produce intellegent folks if they can't even READ, WRITE and do ARITHMETIC. Then again, most of kids today can't even spell arithmetic, much less do it.

[LeverBob]

Personally, comparing those responses with the guys I work with make yours look like Einstein wrote 'em. (for real)

I believe its all Bill Klinton's fault, you know, the "dumbing down of America".

My daughter, who has a masters degree in bio-chemistry once asked me (about 5 years ago) if Pennsylvania was a state or a country. I nearly punched her mother in the face. --------------------------Sixgun

That is funny as all getout...

Remember Sheriff Buford T. Justice's responsed to his "son"?

...You could not be from my loins"....When I get home I'm going to slap yo' mother...

I wish I could slap some sense into this country...

[octagon]

This past Monday a good Bro and I went into San Marcos for a game of foosball. This routine includes ordering a calzone next door to take back for the kids. A new fella (23 year old) was working there and said the bill was eleven dollars even. I gave the fella a twenty and a one dollar bill. A blank, far away look came into his eyes as he contemplated the problem before him...15 seconds pass, and feeling sorry for the guy I suggest that he owes me 10 bucks...an even futher off look appears...the other fella behind the counter grabs 10 from the till and hands it to me. (sigh)
I am hoping that this mans problem was just 4-5 too many bong hits on his break.

[Otto]

I routinely offer people exact change, in the sense of $20.63 for a $14.63 charge, only to have them refuse the coinage.

The other day I was in a local gun store, and the bill was $11 and change. I handed the clerk a twenty, a single and appropriate coinage. She held up the bills and said, "Sir, this is a twenty!"
"I know."
"You should give me a ten."
"I... don't HAVE a ten."
"Oh. Well, I can just make change for this."
You can? REALLY? That would be AWESOME! Thanks so much!

[fordwannabe]

This is a great time for this post. Today I called down to central intelligence(my nickname for HR) I asked one of the young ladies who is normally" with it", about training documents for one of the doctors.
" No I don't have anything like that, Peggy(not her real name) might have it though."
"Ok, doesn't she sit right next to you?"
"Yep!".
"could you ask her?"
"oh she's not here right now. You should call her back later."
"Could you leave a note, for her to call me when she gets in?"
"Oh Sure."
So an hour or so later "Peggy" calls me.
"I need any training records you have for Dr. *%^."
"I don't have any?(1st response right off the bat) What's his name?"
"Her name is Dr &^%."
"Nope I don't have any."
" You don't have any training records for Dr*&^?"
"Nope all I have is the ETS."
"UHH Peggy, what does ETS stand for?"
"I don't know."
"How about , Electronic training summary?"
"Well, thats all I have see no training records."
"How about you just send me those ansd I'll try and figure something out with them."
AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And she's got almost 20 years on the job... in that department!!!!!!

[765x53]

Nearly every year when deer and duck season are both open, the sheriff's report will indicate that someone reported gun fire in the river bottoms north of town.

[adirondakjack]

Some years ago, on one of many long car trips, taking her to her Dr's appts, my SIL was reading the newspaper as I drove.

Every now and then she would comment on something she read, as I half listened.....

But this time was different. "What's the big deal with Illegal innigrants?"

"Waddaya mean, what's the big deal?" I answered, readying a short answer having to do with jobs, costs for medicaid, etc, and ignoring the pronunciation.

"I know "innigrant" means yer stupid. But how can they make that illegal?'

I could hear myself take a huge breath and let it out slowly, the way ya might while trying to squelch laughter at oh, a funeral.... "Maybe you need new glasses, kiddo. The word is "immigrants", people who come from another country. "Ignorant" means you don't understand something. The story is about people who come to this country without permission to come, so they are Illegal immigrants."

Talk about DYING inside as I wanted to ask "they had ya a little scared, huh?"

[perry owens]

When I lived in the US I seldom visited drive-throughs as their audio systems and my English accent appeared to be incompatible. On one occasion, when my granddaughter and her friends were visiting I relented and we went to a McDonalds drive-through on Long Island. I asked "the box" whether they had a vegetarian option and after a long pause the answer came back - " Chicken Nuggets?"

In the spirit of fairness, here's one from the UK:
I moved house a few years back and some weeks later there was a knock on the door. It was a policeman and he said " I must inform you that you will be prosecuted for failing to notify a change of address as required by the Firearms Act of 1968." After some thought I asked him " If that's the case why are you standing here and not at my old address wondering where I am?"

Perry Owens

[gundownunder]

At work today we tested the the emergency warning and evacuation system. As the security team on site this is all part of our job but we had not heard this test done before as we are in a new building. After the test the boss came out and asked us what the message was on the evac. alarm. He expected to hear "emergency, evacuate now" or words to that effect. What he got from one of our staff was a perfect rendition of a loud speaker going "whoop - whoop".
Everybody else laughed so hard we nearly peed our pants, while he just looked at us with that deer in the headlights look. Oh yeh, you've got one just like him in that house in Washington.

[Ysabel Kid]

I don't know whether to laugh - or cry!

[williamranks]

Long about 1950 the whole country decided to breed for looks instead of brains.
Fortunately I was born in '49.

[COSteve]

Yep, I was born in 1947. Good thing because the looks . . . . well lets just say I got shorted there a bit and leave it at that.

[El Chivo]

Not too long ago I was at the line checking out at a store, and when she was making change I noticed the clerk looking intently at her video screen.

When I got my stuff I took a look at the screen, which was not facing me, and saw the screen had pictures of money on it, showing her pictorially how many of each bill and coin to give me.

Another thing that happens around here is you get lots of dimes for your change. If your change is 72 cents, you don't get two quarters, two dimes, and two pennies, you get seven dimes and two pennies. They don't try to add up unusual denominations, they just count out dimes.

[mikld]

Wow. Makes me feel like a genuis!

[Otto]

Long about 1950 the whole country decided to breed for looks instead of brains.
Fortunately I was born in '49.

Man am I screwed.

[Otto]

Not too long ago I was at the line checking out at a store, and when she was making change I noticed the clerk looking intently at her video screen.

When I got my stuff I took a look at the screen, which was not facing me, and saw the screen had pictures of money on it, showing her pictorially how many of each bill and coin to give me.

Another thing that happens around here is you get lots of dimes for your change. If your change is 72 cents, you don't get two quarters, two dimes, and two pennies, you get seven dimes and two pennies. They don't try to add up unusual denominations, they just count out dimes.

A self-feeding problem. Create the machine for those who can't figure it out, and eventually everyone becomes dependent on the machine.

On the bright side, it is only a matter of time before such a system falls apart, and those people will end up as rotting carcasses on the sidewalk. Then whoever is left can rebuild.

[J Miller]

Long about 1950 the whole country decided to breed for looks instead of brains.
Fortunately I was born in '49.

Well, that explains my problems ...... I was born in 52

Joe

[model55]

This sounds like me when I went to the United States from California-think I need the California slapped out of me!

[adirondakjack]

Not too long ago I was at the line checking out at a store, and when she was making change I noticed the clerk looking intently at her video screen.

When I got my stuff I took a look at the screen, which was not facing me, and saw the screen had pictures of money on it, showing her pictorially how many of each bill and coin to give me.

Another thing that happens around here is you get lots of dimes for your change. If your change is 72 cents, you don't get two quarters, two dimes, and two pennies, you get seven dimes and two pennies. They don't try to add up unusual denominations, they just count out dimes.

A self-feeding problem. Create the machine for those who can't figure it out, and eventually everyone becomes dependent on the machine.

On the bright side, it is only a matter of time before such a system falls apart, and those people will end up as rotting carcasses on the sidewalk. Then whoever is left can rebuild.

That has always been with us, at least for a very long time. We are, since we READ and WRITE and draw pictures (maps), a cartographic society. In pre-literate societies, there is a premium placed on memorizing the entire story of the tribe and thw world as they know it. Campfire stories are remembered verbatim. But they cannot transmit large amounts of data over time or through space very well, nor can they grapple with complex numerical relationships requiring notation.

Once we learn to write and read, we lose the premium on memory, and no longer select our wise men and chiefs based on that skill, (nor breed for it).

Build an adding machine, then even somebody who can't do sums can be a merchant.

Build a calculator so cheap and widely available (35 years ago, a 4 function calculator using RPN method cost $100, today they about give em away in Happy Meals), folks no longer rely on basic arithmatic and lose the intuitive FEEL for relationships between numbers. My HS age son is in advanced math, does very well with trig, higher level algebra, etc, but take away his TI Scientific Graphing calculator, he's screwed. He lacks even the basic ability to "guestimate" the total cost of 5 items in a shopping cart. WE learned how to do basic math in our heads, and that intuitive sense is part of our basic self. Kids today lack that, but they can edit a BIOS or whatever it is ya do to un-screw-up a computer easier than making instant oatmeal.

[piller]

I was born in 1965, and I routinely have to add quantities in my head for prescriptions, such as tapering doses of prednisone. I can tell if the Doctor is my age or older as they do the math. If they are younger they just put q.s. which means to give a quantity sufficient. I can total up a tapering dose total quantity pretty easy as it is simple multiplication of small numbers such as 9x3 plus 6x3 plus 3x3 plus 3. Multiply and add in your head. Anyone who graduated before about 1985 should be able to do this. Then there are the new Pharmacy graduates who have to pull out a calculator to figure out the volume of a bottle of medicine when given the directions of 3.75 ml by mouth 4 times a day for 10 days. They look at me funny when I rattle it off in less time than it takes them to get their calculator out. I like to count the change backwards to the older folks as this really makes them happy. It proves to them that I know what I am doing and they feel that they can trust me with everything else.

[adirondakjack]

I was born in 1965, and I routinely have to add quantities in my head for prescriptions, such as tapering doses of prednisone. I can tell if the Doctor is my age or older as they do the math. If they are younger they just put q.s. which means to give a quantity sufficient. I can total up a tapering dose total quantity pretty easy as it is simple multiplication of small numbers such as 9x3 plus 6x3 plus 3x3 plus 3. Multiply and add in your head. Anyone who graduated before about 1985 should be able to do this. Then there are the new Pharmacy graduates who have to pull out a calculator to figure out the volume of a bottle of medicine when given the directions of 3.75 ml by mouth 4 times a day for 10 days. They look at me funny when I rattle it off in less time than it takes them to get their calculator out. I like to count the change backwards to the older folks as this really makes them happy. It proves to them that I know what I am doing and they feel that they can trust me with everything else.

I'm 54, and my dad taught me as a kid how to multiply by approximation. My son is sometimes baffled that I can get a very close if not perfect answer before he can FIND his calculator, and I do it in my head. Simple stuff like 16 x 9, 16X10=160, -16 is 144..... Even with tougher numbers ya do it the same way, breaking it into round numbers and adding or subtracting as needed. Fuggedabout teaching kids to "count up" to make change, or to remember decimal equivalents to common fractions (I used to know em all down to 64ths, and if not by rote, by addition of known facts, such as 13/16 is 3/4(.750) + .0625 (1/16) = .8125") or to "rough in" the decimal or fractional equivalent to a metric size....

[RSY]

I'm 54, and my dad taught me as a kid how to multiply by approximation. My son is sometimes baffled that I can get a very close if not perfect answer before he can FIND his calculator, and I do it in my head. Simple stuff like 16 x 9, 16X10=160, -16 is 144.....

Funny, I do something similar, but just from the opposite direction: For 16 x 9 I'd break it down to (10 x 9) + (6 x 9) to get there.

You know where I really got good with numbers? Tending bar in between getting out of college and going in the Corps. Things at a bar are often happening way too fast to use the register every time. You get pretty good fast, or you crumble behind the counter.

Scott

[adirondakjack]

I'm 54, and my dad taught me as a kid how to multiply by approximation. My son is sometimes baffled that I can get a very close if not perfect answer before he can FIND his calculator, and I do it in my head. Simple stuff like 16 x 9, 16X10=160, -16 is 144.....

Funny, I do something similar, but just from the opposite direction: For 16 x 9 I'd break it down to (10 x 9) + (6 x 9) to get there.

You know where I really got good with numbers? Tending bar in between getting out of college and going in the Corps. Things at a bar are often happening way too fast to use the register every time. You get pretty good fast, or you crumble behind the counter.

Scott

In literacy circles, it's called "indiginous calculations", getting where you need to be without the precise use of formulas beyond the basics. One of the most intriguing studies was one of "railbirds", the self-taught handicappers of horse races. Many of these guys lack even a HS education, most know little math beyond arithmatic, certainly it would be rare to find one with any algebra, let alone statistics. Yet they employ a sophisticated "seat of the pants" multi-variable analysis that will rival or best the computerized models in picking winners. "math" in a formal sense may be a language, but beyond that, the underlying ART of weighing variables, coming up with theses and assigning numerical odds based on what we call "hunches" is a LOT more "intelligence intensive" than plugging numbers into a formula that is based on some differential equation.....

[aragornelessar86]

I own a '97 4-Runner and wanted to do some mod work to beef it up as my desert rig. I went to the local mod shop and asked where I might find a front bumper/brush guard for the truck. The man explains to me that no one makes one because that model is equipped with airbags, and that if I put a frame-mounted guard on the front, then the airbag sensors would not work. (Now, my BS meter was practically screaming by this time, but I decided to press on just for the heck of it) So I asked him what he would recommend. His reply: "Well sir, we would recommend you replace your '97 4-Runner with an older model not equipped with airbags."

[olyinaz]

It only gets worse if you work in a job that puts you out in the public at large. I've seen women try to put their babies on the belt of the x-ray machine at the airport. I've seen women try to put their babies in the overhead bin to take a nap. I've had at leat 10,000 people ask me where something is while I am standing directly under the sign clearly indicating where that thing is. I've seen thousands of people over the years step off an escalator or moving walkway and simply STOP because they don't know where they're going...never mind the five hundred people behind them. How many times have you had an elevator door open and when you try to step out you can't because someone is trying to immediately step in? Is there something about "I need to leave this thing BEFORE you can come into it" that is incredibly hard to grasp?? When I was a young Engineer I was standing at a curb one day in full uniform with my crew as we waited for our ride to the hotel when a woman screeched up in Jaguar, threw her bags at my feet, barked that she was going to Chicago and held out a ten spot. My Captain reached for the ten, pointed the lady at the door to the terminal, we got in our hotel van and he said, "First round is on the stupid Jaguar woman." I was plying the Friendly Skies over northern Arizona one day and as we flew past the great meteor crater by Winslow I rolled the jet sideways a bit in order to point it out to the lovely flight attendant who had just come to the flight deck to chat for a bit, "If you follow the highway along there you'll see it - just south of the road." She picked it out and gasped, "Wow, it almost hit the road!" Flying along the great lakes one day enroute from NYC to LA a flight attendant called the cockpit, "A passenger wants to know what ocean we are flying past right now." Getting my hair cut a few weeks back the girl cutting away asked if we'd had a vacation this summer? I told her that yes, we had been to Maui. "Is that in California?" Uh no, it's one of the Hawaiian Islands. "Oh right, down by Florida." When I lived in Minneapolis I used to visit friends in Toronto quite a bit. "Brr, was it cold up there?" "No, it's like Chicago, it's south of here." "I thought you said you went to Canada?" "Yes, I went to Toronto." "But Toronto is in Canada."

I kid you not - I could go on and on.

Wish I were fat, dumb and happy instead of just fat.

Oly

[Technical Director]

One time my wife and I had invited my Mom to come over for dinner. It was stormy day and dinner was half way done in the over when the power went out. I got up and said that I would go set up the camp stove in the garage in order to finish cooking dinner. Both my Mom and my wife replied that it wouldn't be necessary and dinner could be finished cooking in the microwave. I just waited there and watch them put in dinner in the microwave and push the buttons. My Mom and wife were a little surprise at first that the microwave wasn't working. Then we all had a big laugh and I then went into the garage to set up the camp stove. Dinner via the camp latern was good, but I still keep an eye on my kids today to make sure that they didn't get a double dose of "smarts" from my and my wife's sides of the family .

[Shasta]

Just this morning I stopped by the local McDonald's for a quick breakfast. A young blonde named "Brittany" asks "May I take your order?"

"I would like a plain sausage biscuit from the dollar menu and a small black coffee, to go please."

"Do you want cheese on your biscuit?"

"No, just plain!"

"What would you like to drink?"

"A small black coffee!"

"Cream and sugar?"

"No, just black!"

"Is that for here or to go?"

"To go!"

Apparently she just had to go through her routine and did not hear a word of my complete order given in my first short, simple sentence.

[BruceB]

About nine years ago, I was flying from Ontario California to Bangor Maine. The sweet young thing behind the counter looked at the computer screen and asked me for my passport. I asked why I needed a passport to visit Maine since it is a state. She replied that the computer said that tit was an "international" flight. ( I was going to Maine via Phoenix AZ, Columbus OH, Boston MA to Bangor) About that time, her supervisor came to see what the "problem" was. SYT explained it and the supervisor informed her that the "international" was the name of the airport--- "Bangor International".

[Rusty]

Jr. is working on his 2 yr criminal justice degree and one of the requirements for the degree is a math credit. The other day the teacher was working a problem on the board when one of the students shouted out, wait a minute... that's not right. The teacher thought a minute and said you're right it's not. The teacher started to erase the board and announced to the class, never mind I won't put that on the test.