Economic Stimulus Payment

[ole pizen slinger]

Just in case you get a check...


Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive an Economic Stimulus payment.. This is a very exciting program. I'll explain it using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers..

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set,
thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of Asia ?
A. Shut up or you don't get your check.


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

1 If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, your money will go to China ..
2 If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to Saudi Arabia ..
3 If you purchase a computer, it will go to India ..
4 If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ..
5 If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea ..
6 If you purchase useless plastic stuff, it will go to Taiwan ..
7 If you pay off your credit cards, or buy stock, it will go to pay management bonuses and be hidden in offshore accounts.

Instead, you can keep the money in America by:

1 spending it at yard sales or flea markets, or
2 going to baseball or football games, or
3 hiring prostitutes, or
4 buying cheap beer or
5 getting tattoos.

These are the only wholly-American-owned businesses still operating in the US ..

Conclusion:

The best way to stimulate the economy is to go to a ball game with a prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day until you're drunk enough to go get tattooed.

[NonPCnraRN]

My Winchester Featherweight Deluxe was made in the good old USA as were my Rugers. And my SA Milspec was at least assembled in the USA. Buy guns! Also not only are you getting SOME of your tax money back, but some people are getting some of YOUR money who didn't pay taxes. Also if you want a big screen TV in CA you better buy it soon. No BS, they are going to limit the size of the TVs you can buy because they use too much energy and leave too big a carbon footprint. Next they will outlaw guns stating that the discharging of firearms contributes to global warming. Or under Cap and Trade you will still be able shoot if you buy the necessary carbon credits.

[76/444]

Cute one! As for Cali and its preoccupation with the farse called global warming,.... I got a carbon footprint for Pelosi, and I hope it's a tight fit!

[Ysabel Kid]

Cute one! As for Cali and its preoccupation with the farse called global warming,.... I got a carbon footprint for Pelosi, and I hope it's a tight fit!

[Kansas Ed]

Don't know if anyone else noticed this, but in trying this year to estimate my taxes I plugged in our current numbers on last years tax program (H&R Block Tax Cut). Since we didn't get a stimulus check this year I took the payment out of the calculation and noticed something very interesting. When I took the stimulus amount out of the program, my refund went up the same amount...when I put it back in, the refund went down the same corresponding amount. I did this several times and finally realized to my amazement that the "stimulus" money wasn't anything but a loan which was to be paid back at the end of the year...but disguised as a "gift from the government". Now what it did do was redistribute wealth to those who don't pay taxes, and gifted them that money. So those who got the check and then spent it (we put ours in the bank) and then ended up paying taxes last year, put themselves in the hole a few months earlier.

Ed

[El Chivo]

maybe the software from the year before isn't set up for a stimulus payment so it just subtracts it, not knowing what it is.

It sounds like the software didn't handle it right, because if you did get a stimulus, worst case scenerio is it would get counted as income and then your refund might be affected, but not on a dollar for dollar basis.

I thought it was said we didn't have to claim it as income. Although the government can just skew the tax tables to get it back.

If I'm missing something please explain.

[Kansas Ed]

This was the was the specific software which asked you if you got a stimulus payment, so was designed for it...all I did was check that I did not get a stimulus payment and SHAZAM...my refund was that much higher. In thinking about it this morning, I wonder if it was set up so if you didn't get the payment in check form, if it was given on the tax refund automatically?


Ed

[fordwannabe]

I may be way off base here but i think I remember hearing the stimulus check was only a loan on next years taxes at the time they were issued. I am sure of it because we had a big discussion about it at the hospital. I was told that the stimulus check would come out of this years refund. Hope I'm wrong but i think that is the way it was going to work and a bunch of people will be P&^%ed if that is true. Tom