OT: Father's Opinion...

[J Miller]

Father's Opinion...

4 years: My daddy can do anything.

7 years: My dad knows a lot, a whole lot.

8 years: My father doesn't know quite everything.

12 years: Oh, well, naturally Father doesn't know that, either.

14 years: Father? Hopelessly old-fashioned.

21 years: Oh, that man is out-of-date. What did you expect?

25 years: He knows a little bit about it, but not much.

30 years: Maybe we ought to find out what Dad thinks.

35 years: A little patience. Let's get Dad's assessment before we do anything.

50 years: I wonder what Dad would have thought about that. He was pretty smart.

60 years: My Dad knew absolutely everything!

65 years: I'd give anything if Dad were here so I could talk this over with him. I really miss that man.
...........................................................................

Mom and dad divorced when I was little. Dad died early at 54 years old. I was in my late 20s. Because of moms hatred for dad and his family she moved every year until I reached adult status. I didn't find out about his death until three months afterwords. He and his family had been trying for years to find me. They had no idea where I was. I had been planning on going to Casper, WY that year on my vacation to visit him. His death just about crushed me. I never got to know him. 1980 was not a good year for me. I don't think I've gotten over his death yet.
My wife got this in her email today and it just kind of took me back to the past.
Joe

[2ndovc]

Sorry to hear that Joe.
Sounds like a difficult time.

My wife's father split when she was five with four other siblings.
I'm always amazed by what a wonderful person she turned out to be.
There's time when I know it bothers her. He died several years ago
and she was never able to meet him again.

My parents absolutely adore her and have truely made her a part of our family.

jb

[Barcelona Rick]

My dad died at age 71 (3/22/96)....I was 41....not a single day goes by that I don't think of him. We were very close but I still have a lot of unanswered questions about his life. Being the oldest makes me the one that answers the advice questions....how I wish I could sit down again and visit with him...I'll get to see him again one day and both of us will be healthy.....great post...

jumbeaux

[Hobie]

Ain't that the truth. Dad passed June 28, 1999 and I was there holding his hand. I sure do miss him.

[Nath]

Joe thats was a sweet post you good man, my pa passed away at 54 only thing is I wish I never knew him! He was a liar a cheat and womaniser. He married another woman whilst still married to my mother!!
It split us all up for years and I still don't see mother!
However my younger brother and me are close now and now we even shoot together occasionally but my even younger brother I hardly ever see or speak to.

It don't matter none now, I have a good woman and daughter and best of all a good dog!

Nath.

[J Miller]

<snip>
It don't matter none now, I have a good woman and daughter and best of all a good dog!

Nath.

That's the truth, and a good dog is impossible to beat.

Joe

[polardaddy]

Wow,
we have a bit in common, thank god my dad is still around, I am truely sorry to read that. My parents divorced when my twin and I were 8, mom held such a grudge towards him and still does (don't know why) but there was a 15 year gap between my dad and I talking. The next time I see him I'll give him an extra hug for you.

my ex-wife's parents divorced when she was young, and basically she lost her dad before she grew up enough to realize what she was missing.

[soon 2 retire]

I guess I was stuck at age 4 until my dad died when I was 21 and for the last 39 years I've been stuck at age 65.

Bob in NE Indiana

[AJMD429]

Joe - it could be worse - I only know mine through family stories (some good, some bad) due to his passing away when I was four years old. About the only thing I remember of 'him' was walking in the room and seeing him in the midst of a heart attack.

Maybe that's why I spend so much of my time trying to prevent cardiovascular disease...

[allhands]

My Dad passed in 2007, on St. Valentines Day, at 65 years young. To this day, I still have to stop myself from trying to call him when I see Syracuse University basketball games on TV.........Great Post........

[2ndovc]

I keep re-reading this post.

I have to Thank you Joe for putting this up.

I've always thought my Dad was a really smart man but in recent years i've come to respect
what courageous man he is too.

My Dad Customized and outfitted a 37' sailboat and over the last
four years has sailed from Lake Erie all the way to South America!
I don't know if I have the cajones to do that at 41 let alone 68 years old.

He will forever have my undying respect and grattitude for the
wonderful childhood and advantages I was afforded.

Breaks my heart that not everyone knew their Dads!

Thanks Joe for reminding me how special that bond is and I'm so truely sorry that
you didn't have that as a boy.

jb

[Ysabel Kid]

My Dad died when I was 16. I was lucky - we had a wonderful relationship my entire life, and I always thought he was loving, intelligent, caring, full of life experiences, and someone I wanted to be around.

God I miss him...

[20cows]

I think I'm going to give my Dad a hug when I see him this weekend.

[Gaucho Gringo]

My dad passed away 30 years ago at the age of 56. He was the one who taught me how to shoot, hunt, fish, work on cars and all the other things fathers teach their sons. There has not been a day that I have not thought about him since. He was in the Marines in WWII having joined the day after Pearl Harbor. I still have a lot of his Marine Corp items that I proudly cherish because he did and they were his.

[madman4570]

Joe, Very sorry to hear about your Mom and Dad splitting, and you never being able to know him.Thats a very tough road to go down. Myself,I have been very lucky in that regard! Your Mom must have done a good job raising you Joe, because you are a good man!

[Borregos]

Thanks for posting this Joe.
My Dad passed away when I was 51 but I still feel I did not spend enough time with him, lots of questions I would like to ask him still.

[Buck Elliott]

Have to admit there were a couple years there, when it seemed Dad was kinda 'out-of-touch' with things -- when I was in my early 20s. Didn't take me long to rediscover just how right he was, about most things...

Dad passed on Christmas Eve, 2004, at the age of 90, and I still miss him terribly. Mom's gone too, and I still find myself thinking I should phone her, almost every day.

[J Miller]

Joe - it could be worse - I only know mine through family stories (some good, some bad) due to his passing away when I was four years old. About the only thing I remember of 'him' was walking in the room and seeing him in the midst of a heart attack.

Maybe that's why I spend so much of my time trying to prevent cardiovascular disease...

One of the few childhood memories I have of my dad is him eating a bowl of cereal for breakfast. Picture a large bowl of cereal totally covered by a peak of C&H Pure Cane Sugar from Hawaii. Then he ate it.
As a child I loved sugar. Specifically I loved to eat sugar cubes. But as I watched my dad pour that mountain of C&H on top of the cereal I wanted to wretch. To this day, I eat my cereal plain. What ever sugar is put in at the factory is more than enough.
I suspect that is or was part of the unexpected heart attack that killed him.

Have to admit there were a couple years there, when it seemed Dad was kinda 'out-of-touch' with things -- when I was in my early 20s. Didn't take me long to rediscover just how right he was, about most things...

Dad passed on Christmas Eve, 2004, at the age of 90, and I still miss him terribly. Mom's gone too, and I still find myself thinking I should phone her, almost every day.

Buck,
This thread passed off the front page before I read your comment. My mom died March of '01. We knew she was sick but there was just no money for us to get back to AZ. Finally with her permission I used the ATM card she had given me to her checking account and headed west.
It took us 33 hours to drive from Spfld, IL to Phx, AZ. We went straight to the hospital she was at, only to find she'd died 18 hours before we got there. We had no cell phones then, no way for anybody to contact us. If they even bothered to try.
The last time I saw my mom was in the mortuary.
Her last wish was to buried in her fathers grave or at the foot of it really, in Taylorville. I told her I would get it done. As my wife and I paid our last respects her frozen face changed into a softer smile. I'm convinced her spirit had not left her body till I got there. She told me it was OK by the smile. My wife saw it too. I wasn't imagining it.

To this day both of us make comments about calling her for this or that. Recipes and other things you talk about with your parents. Then we come up short and stand there with a vacant empty feeling when we remember .... she's gone now.

When I read your post I cried. Tears are still falling as I'm trying to type this.

The one thing that hurts me more than I can say is that I wasn't there when either of my parents died. I can't blame myself for not being there when dad died, but I can't seem to get past that with my mom. I should have been there. I should have never left AZ. As I reflect back on things from 10 years past, my reasons for coming to IL were invalid.
I've learned a lot in these last 10 years, but it's too late to apply what I've learned to anything. Almost everybody in my family is gone now.

Joe

[bsaride]

Never knew my dad. They split up when I was 3. Last time I saw him, he didn't even acknowledge me (1975). He died when he was 60.

[bogus bill]

I was lucky. My dad died 2003 two months short of 90. Mom died 10 years earlier. Dad was a quiet gentilman. Probley because he was 6ft 5" and had nothing to proove. He was a devoute christian as mom was, a avid fisherman and hunter.
Dad had a complex because he had next to no formal education. I belive it was 5th grade or a lot less. Yet, he was self educated, read a lot and I doubt many people could tell him from a executive or whatever. I spent pretty much 6 months of his last year with him as he developed alzheimers and was stubborn and I played heck getting him to agree to a resthome. I miss him, but truthfully, he lived six months too long.

[Charles]

My parents divorced when I was one year old and I did not see my father until 1976 when I was 34 years old. I only saw him twice before he died in 1980.

He was not a good man and a terrible father, not just to me, but to a daughter he had by a latter marriage.

I suppose some folks would consider that a sad story, but I had the great good fortune to be raised by my maternal Grandfather who was vetern of WWI and WWII a lawyer and a judge. In his early life he had been a cowboy and a blacksmith/wheelwright. He was an exceptional man any way you want to look at it. He died on my 34th Birthday.

As per the poem, my appreciation for him grew as I grew. What a lucky man I was and am. Of all of the possible alternatives for my young life, I drew the high card.

The best thing my Father ever did was leave my mother and leave me alone. I bear him no ill will.

[Birdman]

I'm the luckiest guy in the world, along with my older sister and older brother. My Dad grew up with out a dad and with a drunk for a mother. It would have been very easy for him to turn out just like them. He decided not to. He married a wonderful woman and they raised us kids with tender love and understanding. Yes there was rules and we dang sure knew it, but they gave us all the rope we needed to hang ourselves. We all managed to stay within those unwritten boundries. We truely grew up in a Norman Rockwell type of town and I wouldn't change a thing. My Dad has now been gone for 14 years and my brother, myself, and my broth inlaw were three of the pall bearers. He was always there and kinda carried us kids through our growing up years and we felt honored to carry him to his grave. My Mom is now in assisted care and Wednesday we are closing on the sale of the house we grew up in. Time don't stop for anybody but it has been a great ride for me. Thanks for listening.

[Mitch1352]

My dad passed on Easter Sunday 1992 from cancer. He and my mom divorced when I was 5...she moved to Florida with my sister and I and Dad stayed in Augusta. I moved back to Augusta with him at 13, but never really got to know him. I always thought he was pretty dumb until I had kids...he got really smart really quick. After he was diagnosed, I spent much more time with him. He got to hold his grandson 3 months before he died. I was there the weekend that he passed, holding his hand. He was a reserved man...a Gerogia Tech grad, Navy pilot, bank president and golfer. The older I get, the more I wish he was here for me to talk to.

[OJ]

Joe,

Thanks for bringing this up - my dad died in 1971 at the age of 71 - he was the first white child born in Torrington, Wyoming - all babies born there before him were Indians - Grandpa King was the station agent on the railroad always at the furthest on at the west end of the railroad and, when another section opened, he moved. They lived in boxcars and, when I mentioned he was one tough guy, my wife gently pointed out Grandma King was probably pretty tough too - in order to live that kind of life. Dad had three older sisters when he was born.



Grandpa King in white shirt, coat, vest, and tie - somewhere around 1900.

When WWI broke out, he dropped out of high school and enlisted - therefore, that gave me the right to do the same thing in 1943 and not be concerned he wouldn't approve - only difference was, I had enough credits to graduate so my diploma was mailed to me. He and Grandpa King owned the bank in a small town in the Sandhills of western Nebraska in addition to a couple of small ranches (two and four sections - small, relative to those owned by ranchers making their living in Herefords)) - however, that bank handled a lot of money since their customers were big time cattle ranchers. Dunno how they learned to be bankers but they did well and both were the most intelligent men I ever knew.

Dad's shadow shows him taking my picture with the "trophies" I took with the 22 single shot he gave me for my 6th birthday,



He was also a great fly fisherman and, out in the country, our evening entertainment (we didn't even have dependable radio - much less TV) was tying flies for the nest summer's fishing - he was better at it than I -



And, we were good buds - he was my best friend all my life with him and my inspiration.



he will always be with me -