Definitions For The I.T. Challenged
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Please post political post in the new Politics forum.
Definitions For The I.T. Challenged
Regression Analysis: Mathmatical techniques for trying to understand why things are getting worse.
Keyboard: A device used to enter errors into a computer.
Beta Test: To voluntarily entrusts one's data, one's livelihood and one's sanity to hardware or software intended to destroy all three. In earlier days virgins were used to beta test volcanoes.
Prime Numbers: Tender juicy numbers used only in expensive computers.
Hexadecimal: An unlucky number used by a computer.
Execution: What the computer did to your program. Also known as murder.
Crash: Normal termination of a computer program.
Loop: See Infinite Loop.
Infinite Loop: See Loop.
Keyboard: A device used to enter errors into a computer.
Beta Test: To voluntarily entrusts one's data, one's livelihood and one's sanity to hardware or software intended to destroy all three. In earlier days virgins were used to beta test volcanoes.
Prime Numbers: Tender juicy numbers used only in expensive computers.
Hexadecimal: An unlucky number used by a computer.
Execution: What the computer did to your program. Also known as murder.
Crash: Normal termination of a computer program.
Loop: See Infinite Loop.
Infinite Loop: See Loop.
Re: Definitions For The I.T. Challenged
Good ones! I agree....thanks.
- Ysabel Kid
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Re: Definitions For The I.T. Challenged
As one who has a very mean electronics curse, I completely agree!
NO ONE at work will let their computer or phone anywhere near me. If they do, the device always goes down. It is uncanny!
NO ONE at work will let their computer or phone anywhere near me. If they do, the device always goes down. It is uncanny!
Re: Definitions For The I.T. Challenged
I wish I had seen those a couple of hours ago. Home sick and tried to pay my cell phone bill over the web and their website wouldn't let me! I tried last night and got one error then this morning and didn't even get that far. Being a computer programmer by trade I really like the beta test definition!
- Rimfire McNutjob
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Re: Definitions For The I.T. Challenged
Great list. As an IT person, I really enjoyed it.
... I love poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick.
- 2ndovc
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Re: Definitions For The I.T. Challenged
I think I have a similar curse. One of our IT gals knows it's me when my number comes up on her screen. She just answers " What did you do now?". Usually, I have no idea, but most likely something is going to need to be replaced.Ysabel Kid wrote: ↑Thu Jun 29, 2023 2:46 pm As one who has a very mean electronics curse, I completely agree!
NO ONE at work will let their computer or phone anywhere near me. If they do, the device always goes down. It is uncanny!
jb
jasonB " Another Dirty Yankee"
" Tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"
" Tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"
Re: Definitions For The I.T. Challenged
Here's a few more good'uns...
Old No7
REDNECK COMPUTER TERMS
Backup - What ya do when ya run 'cross a skunk in da woods
Bar Code - Them's the fight'n rules down at Joe's bar
Bug - The reason ya give for calling in sick
Byte - What yur pit bull dun to cusin Jethro
Cache - Needed when yur out a food stamps
Chip - Pasture muffins that ya try not to step in
Crash - When ya go to Junior's party without an invite
Digital - The art of counting on yur fingers
Diskette - Female Disco dancer
Fax - What ya lie about to the IRS
Hacker - Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking
Internet - Where cafeteria workers put their hair
Keyboard - Where ya hang the keys to the John Deere
Mac - Big Bubba's favorite fast food
Megahertz - How yur head feels after 17 beers
Modem - What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall
Mouse Pad - Where Mickey and Minnie live
Network - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line
Online - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test
ROM - Where the pope lives
Screen - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch
Serial Port - A red wine ya drink with breakfast
Superconductor - Amtrak's Employee of the year
SCSI - What ya call week-old underwear
Terminal - Time to call the undertaker
Old No7
REDNECK COMPUTER TERMS
Backup - What ya do when ya run 'cross a skunk in da woods
Bar Code - Them's the fight'n rules down at Joe's bar
Bug - The reason ya give for calling in sick
Byte - What yur pit bull dun to cusin Jethro
Cache - Needed when yur out a food stamps
Chip - Pasture muffins that ya try not to step in
Crash - When ya go to Junior's party without an invite
Digital - The art of counting on yur fingers
Diskette - Female Disco dancer
Fax - What ya lie about to the IRS
Hacker - Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking
Internet - Where cafeteria workers put their hair
Keyboard - Where ya hang the keys to the John Deere
Mac - Big Bubba's favorite fast food
Megahertz - How yur head feels after 17 beers
Modem - What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall
Mouse Pad - Where Mickey and Minnie live
Network - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line
Online - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test
ROM - Where the pope lives
Screen - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch
Serial Port - A red wine ya drink with breakfast
Superconductor - Amtrak's Employee of the year
SCSI - What ya call week-old underwear
Terminal - Time to call the undertaker
"Freedom and the Second Amendment... One cannot exist without the other." © 2000 DTH
Re: Definitions For The I.T. Challenged
Another excellent and appropriate list....thanks!
- vancelw
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Re: Definitions For The I.T. Challenged
Here's a list of the most common errors....
EEOC- equipment exceeds operator capabilities
ESTO- equipment smarter than operator
Code 18- problem is 18 inches from screen
PICNIC- problem in chair, not in computer
PEBKAC- problem exists between keyboard and chair
Short between the headphones
IBM- idiot behind machine
Biological interface error
"Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure that there is one less scoundrel in the world." - Thomas Carlyle
- Ysabel Kid
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Re: Definitions For The I.T. Challenged
2ndovc wrote: ↑Thu Jun 29, 2023 6:47 pmI think I have a similar curse. One of our IT gals knows it's me when my number comes up on her screen. She just answers " What did you do now?". Usually, I have no idea, but most likely something is going to need to be replaced.Ysabel Kid wrote: ↑Thu Jun 29, 2023 2:46 pm As one who has a very mean electronics curse, I completely agree!
NO ONE at work will let their computer or phone anywhere near me. If they do, the device always goes down. It is uncanny!
jb