Guide to Automobile Dashboard Warning Lights

[AJMD429]

.
"For Women" - so you know it is politically-incorrect...

https://babylonbee.com/news/what-all-th ... -for-women

... but hilarious...

[Grizz]

a friend's wife explained, after the crank threw a rod through the block, that she couldn't find anything to "PRESS" . . . when the light came on . . . really

[piller]

Those were funny.

[stretch]

My older son and I were talking a couple of weeks ago.

One of his coworkers called him one evening and said that his roommate was
broken down on I-95.

"Can you go and get him?"
"Yeah - no problem, where is he?"
"Northbound near the Sydney exit."
"Okay."

So he goes out there. The car is dead on the side of the road.
Battery is okay. Tried to start it; starter engages, but the motor
won't turn.

"What happened?"
"It just stopped."
"Just stopped?"
"Well, all of the temps went sky-high, and I smelled a burning
smell and it stopped."
"Let's check the oil."

"Hey, there's no oil on the dipstick! When's the last time you added oil?"
"I've never added oil."
"When did you last have it changed?"
Pause....
"I don't think I've ever had it changed...."
"How long have you owned this car?"
"About 3 years....."

"May be I'll call my dad."
"Good idea...."

They're out there!

-Stretch

[AJMD429]

"Hey, there's no oil on the dipstick! When's the last time you added oil?"
"I've never added oil."
"When did you last have it changed?"
Pause....
"I don't think I've ever had it changed...."
"How long have you owned this car?"
"About 3 years....."

I have a VERY successful, and very intelligent sub-specialist fellow physician who that very thing happened to. This is someone with a Bachelors Degree in the sciences, and two Graduate Degrees (one an 'M.D')...

[44shooter]

I got an apartment with a friend I knew from the college dorms. One Sunday morning we were making breakfast and he asked which side of the toaster should the buttered side go towards. He didn’t know how to inflate tires either.

If kids aren’t taught you can’t expect them to know as adults. Girls especially aren’t usually taught much about cars.

[Grizz]

I got an apartment with a friend I knew from the college dorms. One Sunday morning we were making breakfast and he asked which side of the toaster should the buttered side go towards. He didn’t know how to inflate tires either.

If kids aren’t taught you can’t expect them to know as adults. Girls especially aren’t usually taught much about cars.

my daughter has pulled the head off of a 50hp outboard engine in a seine skiff and replaced the head gasket between sets . . . among other things. like skiffing to the beach to collect venison for the tug crews dinner, etc.

[piller]

My Wife cannot learn how to inflate tires. She knows exactly what pressure hers are to be inflated to, but she just cannot understand how to put the chuck on the valve stem. Explanation, Demonstration, and Practical Application just do not get through in this case. Fortunately for her, she can find me or our son to help at enough times that she has never ruined a tire.
Cooking is a whole other mess. She has substituted picante sauce for spaghetti sauce. Both are red, so she will use whichever one she has. Marinara on tacos is not good. She has learned to make red beans and rice. With my type 1 diabetes, we actually substitute Quinoa for rice. I wrote out the recipe for her in a way that she understands, but looks like gibberish to anyone else. She has auditory and visual dysphasia. What she hears or reads comes out backwards. Telling her to walk 3 steps forward and turn left results in an immediate left turn and then 3 steps forward. Tell her to turn left 3 times and walk 1step forward gets her to walk 3 steps forward and turn left. And yet, she can juggle. Something to do with how her mind and her hand-eye coordination works.

[GunnyMack]

Back in the 2 weeks of aftermath from hurricane Sandy, I was working at the local lumber yard. A Dr of psychology buys a generator and comes in a couple days later asking about how to change the oil. We told him to read the manual. He replied I did but I dont understand HOW to do it. So I showed him on another generator, explaining to him to shut it down, let it cool then drain and refill. The next day he comes in and buys a new generator. When asked why he said he drained the oil WHILE it was running because his wife didn't want to loose electricity. Another head shrink...
A few days later the same guy comes in with little red blisters on his face. He proclaimed for all to hear " do not take the dipstick out while the engine is running" . One of the girls that worked the blurted out WELL DUH !

They are out there and they breed.

[765x53]

In a similar vein.

1 (7).png

[Ysabel Kid]