Humor - Seen these kind of questions on Leverguns...?

AJMD429 · Post by **AJMD429** » Mon Jun 02, 2008 9:20 am

(Unfortunately, I've likely asked some of these type questions myself...!)

Q: can anybody beat this deal?... i saw some 9mm ammo for only $5 for a box of 50 through "Corrosvski Surplus". check it out!... www.melt.yergun.com.
A1: that's nice, but you should be aware that that stuff will turn your [Hi-Point] into a [Jennings]. besides, i can buy 9mm by the 1000 locally from "Two finger Larry" for only $4.99 a box as long as i let him go out and shoot live animals with some of it (Larry's no longer permitted to own a gun, see...)
A2: that's nice, but you are BOTH wasting your money, because i can RELOAD 9mm for only $4.98 a box and i save a bunch over the long haul because my own time and labor is worth absolutely nothing to me and i have completely discounted the $600 i have sunk into reloading supplies. plus, the feeling of legal exposure kind of excites me while i'm out carrying my reloads. (ooh, i'm getting tingly!)
A3: that's nice, but EVERY ONE of you folks above is hosed-up on this point, because you benighted fools have failed to realize that you should ALWAYS practice with what you carry and of course the only thing to carry is MagSafe. but even though mag safe costs $30 for a box of 3 round, i can STILL save more $$ than ALL of you put together by just limiting my practice time to 1 range session and 1 magazine per year.

Q: i like my [pistol], but what can i do about that LONG HEAVY trigger?
A: it's just a little piece of plastic and really isn't all THAT heavy. but if it is too LONG for you just file it down to about 1/4" long with a bastard file.

Q: is it safe to "dry fire" my [pistol]?
A1: yes. in fact, it is best NOT to get your [pistol] wet at all before firing it. but since you are too dumb to know that, you might want to consider buying some "dummy bullets" to practice with. the firing pin won't care, but your neighbors will sleep better.
A2: no, absolutely not. the guy above is all wet in his answer and has no idea what you are even asking. when building dry brush fires to burn off yard trash, you should only roast objects like weenies or marshmallows above the dry fires, and only rarely roast all metal guns. but never, expose to a dry fire a gun that is made using plastic. (but the dishwasher is fine.)

Post by **Hobie** » Mon Jun 02, 2008 10:19 am

WCF3030 · Post by **WCF3030** » Mon Jun 02, 2008 11:04 am

Funny!

But its missing one of my favorites....

Q) "I looking for a lever to fill in a niche. Its going to be my carry all day long Sun, Tue, Fri rifle for rainy days between 9:14 A.M.-11:52 A.M.
I'm thinking of the 1895 CB in 45-70 because it holds lots of ammo, and will hold up to shooting the Garret 540 hammer heads just in case I run into a Brown bear. I know....... I live in Rhode Island, but hey there was a cougar a couple months ago in Chicago.
I'm also thinking of a good pistol to add more weight to what I'm already carry, just in case the bear takes my rifle from me and starts shooting.
I was thinking of the 500 Wyoming express but I need a source for those 650gr bullets that I read about.
I'll also be using it to fill the pot so whats a good accurate load using the 650gr with clays or H1000 and small pistol primers, (only powder & primers I have and I don't want to buy any more at these prices).

Thanks in advance.

"

Hillbilly · Post by **Hillbilly** » Mon Jun 02, 2008 11:43 am

hey..who hacked my computer and stole my list of gun questions?

Jeff

JimT · Post by **JimT** » Mon Jun 02, 2008 12:06 pm

Good ones! Some of my favorites are:

- I just bought a ______ for $______. Did I get a good deal?

- I have a ____________. I am thinking about learning to reload. What's the hottest handload I can shoot in it?

Comal Forge · Post by **Comal Forge** » Mon Jun 02, 2008 12:25 pm

Oyyy...too close to home for comfort.

runfiverun · Post by **runfiverun** » Mon Jun 02, 2008 8:16 pm

you forgot the ; thanks for the replies fellas but they all suck , so i wil just do it my way.

Andrew · Post by **Andrew** » Mon Jun 02, 2008 8:37 pm

"I only use _______; every thing else is just ______."

"If you don't use ______, then your just a _______."

"I can ______ with my _______ way better/faster than you could ever _____ with a ______."

"No need. Just _____ the ______ and then smack _____ with a hammer and you're done"

Sad to say, most of us KNOW people like this.

Oh yeah, let's not forget this one: "I'm looking for a gun/caliber to hunt _____, ______, ______, _______, _______, ______, ________, _______ and ______. Any suggestions?"

pharmseller · Post by **pharmseller** » Mon Jun 02, 2008 9:27 pm

Andrew wrote:"I only use _______; every thing else is just ______."

"If you don't use ______, then your just a _______."

"I can ______ with my _______ way better/faster than you could ever _____ with a ______."

"No need. Just _____ the ______ and then smack _____ with a hammer and you're done"

Sad to say, most of us KNOW people like this.

Oh yeah, let's not forget this one: "I'm looking for a gun/caliber to hunt _____, ______, ______, _______, _______, ______, ________, _______ and ______. Any suggestions?"

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

awp101 · Post by **awp101** » Mon Jun 02, 2008 9:44 pm

And don't forget the ever popular:

How many Forum members does it Take to Change a Lightbulb??

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

1 to move it to the Lighting section

2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section

7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

5 to flame the spell checkers

3 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

4 Double posts, because they hit the submit button twice.

1 Post that makes a Bible reference.

4 Posts that find a reason to criticize the Government.

1 Post that finds a way to interject the 2nd Amendment.

1 Post that finds a way to blame something on the Liberals.

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

piller · Post by **piller** » Mon Jun 02, 2008 9:58 pm

Groan!!!

JimT · Post by **JimT** » Mon Jun 02, 2008 10:08 pm

awp101

I can't believe I read all that!

But .. shouldn't that be in the "Complaint Section'? Hobie?

awp101 · Post by **awp101** » Mon Jun 02, 2008 10:11 pm

JimT wrote:awp101

I can't believe I read all that!

But .. shouldn't that be in the "Complaint Section'? Hobie?

I can't believe someone typed all of it! I just cut and pasted...

Post by **Ysabel Kid** » Mon Jun 02, 2008 10:12 pm

You guys are killing me!

Jaguarundi · Post by **Jaguarundi** » Tue Jun 03, 2008 1:44 am

You guys forgot this posting habit

El Chivo · Post by **El Chivo** » Tue Jun 03, 2008 3:16 am

you forgot about posting 60 MB photos of light bulbs that take six hours to load and stretch the post horizontally so you have to scroll back and forth to read a sentence.

awp101 · Post by **awp101** » Tue Jun 03, 2008 7:24 am

Jaguarundi wrote:You guys forgot this posting habit

I like this one:

runfiverun · Post by **runfiverun** » Tue Jun 03, 2008 7:47 am

sfter awp's post this has gotta go to the humor section.
that was FUNNY and true..

jhrosier · Post by **jhrosier** » Tue Jun 03, 2008 8:16 am

I want to get a levergun in .45 Long Colt to shoot grizzlies. It will have a tactical light under the barrel.
What kind of lightbulb is powerful enough for grizzlies?

Thanks, Floyd Turbo

WCF3030 · Post by **WCF3030** » Tue Jun 03, 2008 8:52 am

jhrosier wrote:I want to get a levergun in .45 Long Colt to shoot grizzlies. It will have a tactical light under the barrel.
What kind of lightbulb is powerful enough for grizzlies?

Thanks, Floyd Turbo

Well that depends on what your idea (really my idea) of what TRUE Grizzly hunting is.

But seeing as you did not capitalize "Grizzlies" in your post it is obvious you have no understanding or respect for the animal or the hunt. You are definitely not " old school".
Old school would only use black powder and no sights at all and then finish the bear off with there custom made knife they paid $500 for (but really never gets taken out of the display box) and then eat the heart.
(At least that's what they will tell you.)

I had just read this one yesterday:

I know my capabilities, and my shortfalls. I am colorblind, heard of hearing, I have four herniated disk, coronary heart disease, a failed heart by-pass, I'm overweight, I have arthritis, and I was diagnosed with diabetes last month. But I do a two hour workout with weights every other day when I'm at home, (including Saturday and Sunday) I then ride 10 miles on a stationary bike at the end of each workout. The days I don't do the workouts I go in and walk 30 minutes on a treadmill at 10% grade at 2.5mph, then another 10 miles on the bike. Also I can place all of my shots in a six inch pie plate, (the size of a bears heart) from 50 to 500 yards, with either my Handi or my TCR. Yes my TCR in 30-06 will be in the Camper just in case I need a second gun.

I usually tend to post a reply that JimT used sometime ago.

I work down at the Pizza Pit
And I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I'm 5 foot 3 and overweight
I'm a scifi fanatic
A mild asthmatic
And I've never been to second base
But there's whole â€˜nother me
That you need to see
Go checkout MySpace

'Cause online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6 foot 5 and I look darn good
I drive a Maserati
I'm a black-belt in karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that Iâ€™m mysterious
I tell them I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
Iâ€™m so much cooler online
So much cooler online

When I get home I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
And I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up my Mac
In real life the only time Iâ€™ve ever even been to L.A
Is when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade

Online I live in Malibu
I pose for Calvin Klein, I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich
And I've got a set of six pack abs that would blow your mind
It turns girls on that Iâ€™m mysterious
I tell them I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
Iâ€™m so much cooler online
So much cooler online

When you got my kind of stats
Itâ€™s hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight
Every time I login

Online
Iâ€™m out in Hollywood
Iâ€™m 6 foot 5 and I look darn good
Even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
Iâ€™m so much cooler online
Yeah, Iâ€™m cooler online
Iâ€™m so much cooler online
Yeah, Iâ€™m cooler online

Yeah, Iâ€™m cooler online

Yeah, Iâ€™ll see ya online
[/i]

Post by **Hobie** » Tue Jun 03, 2008 12:27 pm

jhrosier wrote:I want to get a levergun in .45 Long Colt to shoot grizzlies. It will have a tactical light under the barrel.
What kind of lightbulb is powerful enough for grizzlies?

Thanks, Floyd Turbo

I was thinking about this actual post I saw somewhere along the same lines, "I've just bought a new Winchester Miroku M92 in .45 Colt. I'm going grizzly hunting. Which bullet should I use to avoid complete penetration and ensure all energy is expended in the bear?" Well, in fairness I had to paraphrase it some (ignoring mistakes and some forgotten details), then the multitude joined in and one never heard from the original poster again.

AJMD429 · Post by **AJMD429** » Tue Jun 03, 2008 1:39 pm

jhrosier wrote:I want to get a levergun in .45 Long Colt to shoot grizzlies. It will have a tactical light under the barrel.
What kind of lightbulb is powerful enough for grizzlies?

Just make sure it is shatter-resistant so it won't hurt you when the proctologist removes it for you...

Rimfire McNutjob · Post by **Rimfire McNutjob** » Tue Jun 03, 2008 1:57 pm

AJMD429 wrote:
jhrosier wrote:I want to get a levergun in .45 Long Colt to shoot grizzlies. It will have a tactical light under the barrel.
What kind of lightbulb is powerful enough for grizzlies?
Just make sure it is shatter-resistant so it won't hurt you when the proctologist removes it for you...

You realize, of course, that it will probably be the bear that needs the protologist when it tries to pass the flashlight and rifle along with the recently digested forum inquirer.

AJMD429 · Post by **AJMD429** » Tue Jun 03, 2008 9:56 pm

Rimfire McNutjob wrote:
AJMD429 wrote:
jhrosier wrote:I want to get a levergun in .45 Long Colt to shoot grizzlies. It will have a tactical light under the barrel.
What kind of lightbulb is powerful enough for grizzlies?
Just make sure it is shatter-resistant so it won't hurt you when the proctologist removes it for you...
You realize, of course, that it will probably be the bear that needs the protologist when it tries to pass the flashlight and rifle along with the recently digested forum inquirer.

Naah . . . them aminals listen to Algore, and his buddies. They KNOW that they'll get lead poisoning if they ingest metallic lead, and they KNOW that the ONLY source of lead in the environment is from shooters, and they KNOW that it's only become a problem since we elected Bush. So they'd never eat the rifle...

Griff · Post by **Griff** » Tue Jun 03, 2008 11:32 pm

NonPCnraRN · Post by **NonPCnraRN** » Wed Jun 04, 2008 2:19 am

What about the guy who says to read the manual on light bulbs or the chapter of his book on changing light bulbs. Then there's the guy who asks how to remove the logo printed on the light bulb.

Hillbilly · Post by **Hillbilly** » Wed Jun 04, 2008 11:10 am

" I think I goofed, anyone know how much JB Weld I need to fix a sear? Dremel tools are the choice of the devil"

Hill

JimT · Post by **JimT** » Wed Jun 04, 2008 1:27 pm

NonPCnraRN wrote:What about the guy who says to read the manual on light bulbs or the chapter of his book on changing light bulbs.

HEY! I'm that guy!