(sigh)
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Welcome to the Leverguns.Com General Discussions Forum. This is a high-class place so act respectable. We discuss most anything here other than politics... politely.
Please post political post in the new Politics forum.
Welcome to the Leverguns.Com General Discussions Forum. This is a high-class place so act respectable. We discuss most anything here other than politics... politely.
Please post political post in the new Politics forum.
(sigh)
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The following questions/answers are from last year’s GED exams.
(These are genuine answers from 16 year olds)
Q. Name the four seasons.
A.. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q. How is dew formed ?
A.. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on ?
A.. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections ?
A.. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q. What are steroids ?
A.. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs ..
Q. What happens to your body as you age ?
A.. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty ?
A.. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A.. Premature death.
Q. What is artificial insemination ?
A.. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour ?
A.. Keep it in the cow. (I use a little salt added to the bottle)
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body (e.g.: the abdomen) categorized ?
A.. The body is consisted into 3 parts — the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O, U.
Q. What is the fibula ?
A.. A small lie.
Q. What does ‘varicose’ mean ?
A.. Nearby.
Q. What is the most common form of birth control ?
A.. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Cesarean section.’
A.. The Cesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q. What is a seizure ?
A.. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure: I came, I saw, I had a fit.)
Q. What is a terminal illness ?
A.. When you are sick at the airport.
Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean ?
A.. Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Q. What is a turbine?
A.. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head - Once an Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head.
.
The following questions/answers are from last year’s GED exams.
(These are genuine answers from 16 year olds)
Q. Name the four seasons.
A.. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q. How is dew formed ?
A.. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on ?
A.. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections ?
A.. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q. What are steroids ?
A.. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs ..
Q. What happens to your body as you age ?
A.. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty ?
A.. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A.. Premature death.
Q. What is artificial insemination ?
A.. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour ?
A.. Keep it in the cow. (I use a little salt added to the bottle)
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body (e.g.: the abdomen) categorized ?
A.. The body is consisted into 3 parts — the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O, U.
Q. What is the fibula ?
A.. A small lie.
Q. What does ‘varicose’ mean ?
A.. Nearby.
Q. What is the most common form of birth control ?
A.. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Cesarean section.’
A.. The Cesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q. What is a seizure ?
A.. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure: I came, I saw, I had a fit.)
Q. What is a terminal illness ?
A.. When you are sick at the airport.
Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean ?
A.. Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Q. What is a turbine?
A.. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head - Once an Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head.
.
- crs
- Advanced Levergunner
- Posts: 3154
- Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 10:32 am
- Location: Republic of Texas
- Contact:
Re: (sigh)
Thanks for the chuckle.
CRS, NRA Benefactor Member, TSRA, DRSS, DWWC, Whittington Center
Android Ballistics App at http://www.xplat.net/
Android Ballistics App at http://www.xplat.net/
-
- Advanced Levergunner
- Posts: 4296
- Joined: Wed Sep 15, 2010 12:57 pm
- Location: Vinita, I.T.
Re: (sigh)
M. M. Wright, Sheriff, Green county Arkansas (1860)
Currently living my eternal life.
NRA Life
SASS
ITSASS
Currently living my eternal life.
NRA Life
SASS
ITSASS
Re: (sigh)
this is definitely the "vinegar season"... :)
- fordwannabe
- Advanced Levergunner
- Posts: 3371
- Joined: Thu Apr 02, 2009 8:52 am
- Location: Womelsdorf PA
Re: (sigh)
Those wouldn’t seem so funny if you live or work in Harrisburg Pa. Those may be the head of their class in Harrisburg.
a Pennsylvanian who has been accused of clinging to my religion and my guns......Good assessment skills.
Re: (sigh)
I wouldn't laugh. In two years they will be old enough to vote.
Jeepnik AKA "Old Eyes"
"Go low, go slow and preferably in the dark" The old Sarge (he was maybe 24.
"Freedom is never more that a generation from extinction" Ronald Reagan
"Every man should have at least one good rifle and know how to use it" Dad
"Go low, go slow and preferably in the dark" The old Sarge (he was maybe 24.
"Freedom is never more that a generation from extinction" Ronald Reagan
"Every man should have at least one good rifle and know how to use it" Dad
Re: (sigh)
It'll only be a few of them, it's not all the kids.
Ok, they may end up in power but it'll be ok
Psalm ch8.
Because I wish I could!
Because I wish I could!
Re: (sigh)
Yes, they will be our next elected officals.
Re: (sigh)
That last one would explain why some people are sheet heads.
Seriously, a PhD in Archeology whom I know would not see the humor in it. She is the most Liberal person whom I have ever worked with. Laine is a member of the Cherokee Tribe and considers Elizabeth Warren to be a personal hero. When asked about Elizabeth Warren's lies about being "Native American", Laine has to reboot her mind. She may have a PhD, but she is as sharp as a ball bearing most of the time.
Seriously, a PhD in Archeology whom I know would not see the humor in it. She is the most Liberal person whom I have ever worked with. Laine is a member of the Cherokee Tribe and considers Elizabeth Warren to be a personal hero. When asked about Elizabeth Warren's lies about being "Native American", Laine has to reboot her mind. She may have a PhD, but she is as sharp as a ball bearing most of the time.
D. Brian Casady
Quid Llatine Dictum Sit, Altum Viditur.
Advanced is being able to do the basics while your leg is on fire---Bill Jeans
Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up---Robert Frost
Quid Llatine Dictum Sit, Altum Viditur.
Advanced is being able to do the basics while your leg is on fire---Bill Jeans
Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up---Robert Frost
- fordwannabe
- Advanced Levergunner
- Posts: 3371
- Joined: Thu Apr 02, 2009 8:52 am
- Location: Womelsdorf PA
Re: (sigh)
Piller I know a whole bunch of people with advanced degrees who shouldn’t be trusted with a pair of scissors. Book smart and smart are NOT the same.
a Pennsylvanian who has been accused of clinging to my religion and my guns......Good assessment skills.