This Afternoon's Humor Break

Welcome to the Leverguns.Com Forum. This is a high-class place so act respectable. We discuss most anything here ... politely.

Moderators: AmBraCol, Hobie

Forum rules
Welcome to the Leverguns.Com General Discussions Forum. This is a high-class place so act respectable. We discuss most anything here other than politics... politely.

Please post political post in the new Politics forum.
Post Reply
Pete44ru
Advanced Levergunner
Posts: 11242
Joined: Sun Sep 02, 2007 7:26 am

This Afternoon's Humor Break

Post by Pete44ru »

.

An LEO was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial.

The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility.....

Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene ?'

A: 'No, sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'

Q: 'Officer, who provided this description ?'

A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'

Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers ?'

A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'

Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties ?'

A: 'Yes sir, we do!'

Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room ?'

A: 'Yes, sir, I do.'

Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker ?'

A: 'Yes, sir.'

Q: 'Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers ?'

A: 'You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'

( A recess was promptly called. )


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * * * * **

In an interview, General Norman Schwarzkopf was asked if he thought there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harbored and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America. His answer was classic Schwarzkopf.

The General said, "I believe that forgiving them is God's function... OUR job is to arrange the meeting."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dana Perino (FOX News) describing an interview she recently had with a Navy SEAL.

After discussing all the countries that he had been sent to, she asked if they had to learn several languages.

The SEAL politely responded: "Oh, no ma'am. We don't go there to talk."


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


Conversation overheard on the VHF Guard (emergency) frequency 121.5 MHz while flying from Europe to Dubai.

Iranian Air Defense Site: 'Unknown aircraft, you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself.'

Aircraft: 'This is a United States aircraft. I am in Iraqi airspace.'

Air Defense Site: 'You are in Iranian airspace. If you do not depart our airspace, we will launch interceptor aircraft!'

Aircraft: 'This is a United States Marine Corps FA-18 Fighter. Send 'em up, I'll wait!'

Air Defense Site: (Total silence).


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

When Hillary was in Israel (don't ask me why), she suddenly died.

The Israelis told the secret service, "We're sorry to have to tell you, it will cost $150,000 to package the body and send it back to the USA. However, if you like, we can bury her here, for a cost of only $100."

The secret service guys huddled and replied that they required the body to be sent back to the USA, at any cost.

The Israelis said, "that's fine, but why would you turn down such an offer?"

The chief secret service official told them, "It's like this: Two thousand years ago, a man died here, and came back to life three days later. And we simply CANNOT take that chance."


:mrgreen:


.
Last edited by Pete44ru on Tue May 29, 2018 5:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Pitchy
Advanced Levergunner
Posts: 13146
Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2011 9:15 am
Location: Minnesooooota

Re: This Afternoon's Humor Break

Post by Pitchy »

Yepper yepper :lol: :lol:
Because I Can, and Have
-------------------------------------------------------------
USAF-72-76
God Bless America.
Disclaimer, not responsible for anyone copying or building anything i make.
Always consult an expert first.
User avatar
2ndovc
Advanced Levergunner
Posts: 9678
Joined: Fri Sep 07, 2007 11:59 am
Location: OH, South Shore of Lake Erie

Re: This Afternoon's Humor Break

Post by 2ndovc »

Love the last one!

jb 8)
jasonB " Another Dirty Yankee"


" Tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"
User avatar
gamekeeper
Spambot Zapper
Posts: 18395
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 3:32 pm
Location: Englandistan twinned with the third world.

Re: This Afternoon's Humor Break

Post by gamekeeper »

:lol: :lol:
Whatever you do always give 100%........... unless you are donating blood.
User avatar
Blaine
Posting leader...
Posts: 30514
Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2007 2:22 pm
Location: Still Deciding

Re: This Afternoon's Humor Break

Post by Blaine »

8)
When I first heard that last one it was Bill talking about Hillary. :lol:
The Rotten Fruit Always Hits The Ground First

Proud Life Member Of:
NRA
Second Amendment Foundation
Citizens Committee For The Right To Keep And Bear Arms
DAV
Post Reply