A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
A question mark walks into a bar?
A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."
A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
A synonym strolls into a tavern.
At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.
A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.
An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.
The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
A dyslexic walks into a bra.
A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars.
A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.
*(I can’t take credit for these Enjoy!)
OT: English Pub Humor from the Internet
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Welcome to the Leverguns.Com General Discussions Forum. This is a high-class place so act respectable. We discuss most anything here other than politics... politely.
Please post political post in the new Politics forum.
Re: OT: English Pub Humor from the Internet
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The Blaine challenge has plainly begun ! !
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The Blaine challenge has plainly begun ! !
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Re: OT: English Pub Humor from the Internet
I know it's difficult to avoid patronising, but:
"A dyslexic walks into a bra", a classic.
Very clever post.
Cheers Mark
"A dyslexic walks into a bra", a classic.
Very clever post.
Cheers Mark
Re: OT: English Pub Humor from the Internet
I guess I'd understand more if I hadn't failed English class in high School...
Mike
Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit...
I've learned how to stand on my own two knees...
Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit...
I've learned how to stand on my own two knees...
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- Levergunner 2.0
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Re: OT: English Pub Humor from the Internet
I've signed up to help out at a benefit concert they're having locally in April to benefit the study of dyslexia. If you're interested in helping, it'll be running the 17th through the 15th.
My mind reader refuses to charge me..........
Now listen boy, I'm tryin' to teach you somethin'. That ain't an optical illusion, it only LOOKS LIKE an optical illusion.
Now listen boy, I'm tryin' to teach you somethin'. That ain't an optical illusion, it only LOOKS LIKE an optical illusion.
Re: OT: English Pub Humor from the Internet
Those are TERRIFIC!
-Stretch
-Stretch
Re: OT: English Pub Humor from the Internet
My Grammar told me all those.
The Rotten Fruit Always Hits The Ground First
Proud Life Member Of:
NRA
Second Amendment Foundation
Citizens Committee For The Right To Keep And Bear Arms
DAV
Proud Life Member Of:
NRA
Second Amendment Foundation
Citizens Committee For The Right To Keep And Bear Arms
DAV
Re: OT: English Pub Humor from the Internet
A Priest, A Baptist Minister, and a Rabbi walked into a bar and the bartender said "what is this? a joke?"
The Rotten Fruit Always Hits The Ground First
Proud Life Member Of:
NRA
Second Amendment Foundation
Citizens Committee For The Right To Keep And Bear Arms
DAV
Proud Life Member Of:
NRA
Second Amendment Foundation
Citizens Committee For The Right To Keep And Bear Arms
DAV