When You're Seventy...Who Cares?
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Welcome to the Leverguns.Com General Discussions Forum. This is a high-class place so act respectable. We discuss most anything here other than politics... politely.
Please post political post in the new Politics forum.
When You're Seventy...Who Cares?
I was standing at the bar at the VFW minding my own business. This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?"
I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"
She said, "Yeah, I got a pen."
I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."
Cost me 6 stitches...but,
When you’re seventy..............who cares?
**********
I went to the drug store and told the clerk "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."
Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?”
I said "Nah... She's purty good lookin'...."
When you’re seventy..............who cares?
***********
I was talking to a young woman in the VFW last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.”
I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”
Cost me a fat lip, but...
When you’re seventy...............who cares?
**********
I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.
"Really" she said, "Go on then... try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."
Cost me a kick in the nuts, but...
When you’re seventy...............who cares?
*********
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you’re seventy...............who cares?
**********
I went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.
I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
Cost me 6 more stitches, but...
When you’re seventy...............who cares?
"Count your life by smiles, not tears, count your age by friends, not years, and remember we do not quit playing because we grow old...we grow old because we quit playing"
I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"
She said, "Yeah, I got a pen."
I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."
Cost me 6 stitches...but,
When you’re seventy..............who cares?
**********
I went to the drug store and told the clerk "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."
Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?”
I said "Nah... She's purty good lookin'...."
When you’re seventy..............who cares?
***********
I was talking to a young woman in the VFW last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.”
I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”
Cost me a fat lip, but...
When you’re seventy...............who cares?
**********
I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.
"Really" she said, "Go on then... try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."
Cost me a kick in the nuts, but...
When you’re seventy...............who cares?
*********
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you’re seventy...............who cares?
**********
I went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.
I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
Cost me 6 more stitches, but...
When you’re seventy...............who cares?
"Count your life by smiles, not tears, count your age by friends, not years, and remember we do not quit playing because we grow old...we grow old because we quit playing"
The Rotten Fruit Always Hits The Ground First
Proud Life Member Of:
NRA
Second Amendment Foundation
Citizens Committee For The Right To Keep And Bear Arms
DAV
Proud Life Member Of:
NRA
Second Amendment Foundation
Citizens Committee For The Right To Keep And Bear Arms
DAV
Re: When You're Seventy...Who Cares?
Always good for a chuckle! Thanks.
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- Advanced Levergunner
- Posts: 4296
- Joined: Wed Sep 15, 2010 12:57 pm
- Location: Vinita, I.T.
Re: When You're Seventy...Who Cares?
Blaine,
I like the idea of counting my age by my friends but most of mine have died.
I like the idea of counting my age by my friends but most of mine have died.
M. M. Wright, Sheriff, Green county Arkansas (1860)
Currently living my eternal life.
NRA Life
SASS
ITSASS
Currently living my eternal life.
NRA Life
SASS
ITSASS
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- Advanced Levergunner
- Posts: 6972
- Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2007 8:52 pm
- Location: Ridgefield WA. USA
Re: When You're Seventy...Who Cares?
, thanks, I needed that !
- fordwannabe
- Advanced Levergunner
- Posts: 3371
- Joined: Thu Apr 02, 2009 8:52 am
- Location: Womelsdorf PA
Re: When You're Seventy...Who Cares?
I sat in my car on the driveway and chuckled out loud. Thanks.
a Pennsylvanian who has been accused of clinging to my religion and my guns......Good assessment skills.
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- Advanced Levergunner
- Posts: 9426
- Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2008 10:05 am
- Location: The Land of Enchantment
Re: When You're Seventy...Who Cares?
Laffin' here in New Mexico! I have five more years to 70 and doubt I will make it, but the terrain is getting all too familiar!
- Ysabel Kid
- Moderator
- Posts: 28220
- Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2007 7:10 pm
- Location: South Carolina, USA
- Contact:
Re: When You're Seventy...Who Cares?
I expected him to say "I was just thinking the same thing about you!"
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- Levergunner 3.0
- Posts: 995
- Joined: Mon Feb 04, 2008 10:29 pm
- Location: Idaho panhandle/Wyoming
Re: When You're Seventy...Who Cares?
Blaine, ain't it the truth! I turned 70 last August. And that seems to be my prevailing attitude.
This is plagiarized from someone else, but I love it!
I was born a gun owner.
It wasn't a choice.
I didn't become one later in life.
I was born this way.
I was born a gun owner.
It wasn't a choice.
I didn't become one later in life.
I was born this way.
Re: When You're Seventy...Who Cares?
I turn 70 in a couple of weeks, but that has been my attitude for a number of years!
Merle from PA
Re: When You're Seventy...Who Cares?
D. Brian Casady
Quid Llatine Dictum Sit, Altum Viditur.
Advanced is being able to do the basics while your leg is on fire---Bill Jeans
Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up---Robert Frost
Quid Llatine Dictum Sit, Altum Viditur.
Advanced is being able to do the basics while your leg is on fire---Bill Jeans
Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up---Robert Frost
Re: When You're Seventy...Who Cares?
Thanks for the guidelines. 70 is only a couple good naps away, based on how fast the last couple years have gone.
___________________________________________________________________
I'm not paranoid because I carry a gun. Why should I be paranoid. I've got a gun.
I'm not paranoid because I carry a gun. Why should I be paranoid. I've got a gun.