Questions 4 U

[Pete44ru]

.

Unabashedly stolen from elsewhere:

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 each for a little bottle of Evian water ? ("Evian" backwards spells "NAIVE")

2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool ?

3. If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the 'Jags', the Tampa Bay Buccaneers the 'Bucs', what should the Tennessee Titans be known as ?

4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea does that mean that 1 out of 5 enjoys it ?

5. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes ?

6. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled ?

7. Why do croutons come in airtight packages ? Aren't they just stale bread ?

8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?

9. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one ?

10. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that:

electricians can be delighted
musicians denoted
cowboys deranged
models deposed
tree surgeons debarked
and
dry cleaners depressed ?

11. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP ?

12. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks ?

13. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men ?

14. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older - are they' cramming for their final exam ?

15. If mothers here feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, do Chinese mothers use toothpicks ?

16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office instead of just putting their pictures on stamps so mailperson can look for them while they deliver the mail ?

17. If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others here for ?

18. What would the speed of lightning be if it didn't zigzag ?

19. If a cow laughed, would she spew milk out of her nose ?

20. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G ?

21. Did you ever notice that, when you put the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together, it spells 'THEIRS' ?


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[rossim92]

I liked number 13.

[Blaine]

If corn oil is from corn. Olive oil is from olives. Where does baby oil come from?

[Ysabel Kid]

If corn oil is from corn. Olive oil is from olives. Where does baby oil come from?

[piller]

I showed this to an electrician. He was delighted.