How about this idea ?
1) Take down all your patriotic flags & window/bumper stickers, give your pit bull to your mother-in-law - then store your guns.
2) Disconnect your home alarm system and quit the candy-*** Neighborhood Watch program.
Instead of all that silly stuff:
A) Buy two Pakistani flags, and put one at each street corner of your front yard/driveway.
B) Buy a black ISIS flag off eBay (they're there), and run it up your flag pole.
C) Buy burka's for your family, and wear them when going out.
These moves will do a couple of things for you:
First - The local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service, and other agencies will all be watching your house 24/7.
(You'll NEVER feel safer, and you'll also be saving the $$$/month alarm costs.)
Second - When you & your family go out shopping, wearing burka's, everybody will move out of your way - and security isn't allowed to pat you down !
Safe at last, safe at last - safe at last !
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