My turn to mourn
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- Advanced Levergunner
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My turn to mourn
My best pal wore out and needed to sleep the sleep without dreams last week. Gunnar Everett Baker, aka, the Binkie, was a sweet little toot with apparent Pomeranian and some Shi Tzu influences contributing to his otherwise mysterious muttness. The little guy was born with issues that soon became apparent. His eyesight was the first to go at less than a year old. He was able to see crude shapes and bright light until his later years, when he was so blind he would walk into doors. This made him very conservative in his navigation, but thanks to being raised by our Brittany, the Watson, and his sister Bella, the Aussie, he used their scent and sound trails to get around pretty darned well. His blindness sharpened his nose and ears, and he would often stop and cock his head to focus on the source of a sound such as my voice.
Then out of the blue one night came the epileptic seizures. The first grand mal left him dazed for a week. He went on phenobarbitol at about age two and was on it the rest of his nine years.
Despite these burdens, the Binkie was a sweet and loving little friend who would fix my position with his vacant eyes and wave his fluffy blond tail like a plume of pampas grass in joyful greeting. He was my shadow, curling up under my chair or between my legs on the recliner – one of his favorite spots.
I used to accuse the Binkie of having been a fruit bat in a previous life, as his passion for fruit and vegetables knew no restraints. He never denied it. While he absolutely adored broccoli and carrots, the foods that sent him into orbits of delight were tangerines and watermelon. He could be asleep in another room and when I started to peel a Satsuma, he would come skittering into the kitchen and stand with his front paws on my knee making little whining moans until he got a wedge. He also had an eerie sense of when I was about to cut up a watermelon; as soon as he heard the blade cut into the rind, he would go nuts with excitement. I never completed the experiment, but believe he could have eaten half his weight in watermelon if given the chance. It made me happy to be able to make him so happy.
He could be vocal. My wife, who sang professionally, could hit a high note and get all the dogs to “make the tiny O” with their lips and croon like coyotes. And if Gunnar thought there was a threat that needed challenging he would face in the general direction and bark fiercely, with his tail straight up and his back legs spread apart in full “Bring it on” posture. When we got home after being away for a few hours, he would be at the door wailing for it to open so he could be with his peeps again.
And he snored, gently, like an old man.
Dogs teach us many things about life, about ourselves. Gunnar taught me about bravery, and loyalty, about accepting one’s burdens and carrying on without fuss and about taking joy from one’s enthusiasms. He never worried about tomorrow; that was my job. And every time he walked into a door, fell into the pond, had a seizure or even just had an off day, I mourned a little for him and for myself, knowing a day would come when his life would end and mine would linger on without him in it.
That day came last week, when his body quit producing red blood cells. I never loved a dog so much as this little compromised pal who wanted nothing more than to be near me.
One last memory. At a previous house I built a small set of wooden steps that sat outside the pet door so the Binkie could get in an out. When we moved to Salem, we no longer needed the steps as the pet door opened right onto a deck. I had left the steps out on the lawn while we were moving in, and Binkie, encountering their familiar smell, ascended the steps and stood there at the top, trying to figure out why he could not smell and feel the pet door that should have been right there in front of his nose. I can still see him tottering at the top of those steps to no where, in the sunshine, out on the front lawn, trying to sort out the mystery of life.
The Binkie, with sister Bella. She has been moping ever since ...
Then out of the blue one night came the epileptic seizures. The first grand mal left him dazed for a week. He went on phenobarbitol at about age two and was on it the rest of his nine years.
Despite these burdens, the Binkie was a sweet and loving little friend who would fix my position with his vacant eyes and wave his fluffy blond tail like a plume of pampas grass in joyful greeting. He was my shadow, curling up under my chair or between my legs on the recliner – one of his favorite spots.
I used to accuse the Binkie of having been a fruit bat in a previous life, as his passion for fruit and vegetables knew no restraints. He never denied it. While he absolutely adored broccoli and carrots, the foods that sent him into orbits of delight were tangerines and watermelon. He could be asleep in another room and when I started to peel a Satsuma, he would come skittering into the kitchen and stand with his front paws on my knee making little whining moans until he got a wedge. He also had an eerie sense of when I was about to cut up a watermelon; as soon as he heard the blade cut into the rind, he would go nuts with excitement. I never completed the experiment, but believe he could have eaten half his weight in watermelon if given the chance. It made me happy to be able to make him so happy.
He could be vocal. My wife, who sang professionally, could hit a high note and get all the dogs to “make the tiny O” with their lips and croon like coyotes. And if Gunnar thought there was a threat that needed challenging he would face in the general direction and bark fiercely, with his tail straight up and his back legs spread apart in full “Bring it on” posture. When we got home after being away for a few hours, he would be at the door wailing for it to open so he could be with his peeps again.
And he snored, gently, like an old man.
Dogs teach us many things about life, about ourselves. Gunnar taught me about bravery, and loyalty, about accepting one’s burdens and carrying on without fuss and about taking joy from one’s enthusiasms. He never worried about tomorrow; that was my job. And every time he walked into a door, fell into the pond, had a seizure or even just had an off day, I mourned a little for him and for myself, knowing a day would come when his life would end and mine would linger on without him in it.
That day came last week, when his body quit producing red blood cells. I never loved a dog so much as this little compromised pal who wanted nothing more than to be near me.
One last memory. At a previous house I built a small set of wooden steps that sat outside the pet door so the Binkie could get in an out. When we moved to Salem, we no longer needed the steps as the pet door opened right onto a deck. I had left the steps out on the lawn while we were moving in, and Binkie, encountering their familiar smell, ascended the steps and stood there at the top, trying to figure out why he could not smell and feel the pet door that should have been right there in front of his nose. I can still see him tottering at the top of those steps to no where, in the sunshine, out on the front lawn, trying to sort out the mystery of life.
The Binkie, with sister Bella. She has been moping ever since ...
Re: My turn to mourn
A wonderful tribute to man's best friend. They carve out a niche in your heart that can never be filled once they leave.
The Rotten Fruit Always Hits The Ground First
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DAV
Proud Life Member Of:
NRA
Second Amendment Foundation
Citizens Committee For The Right To Keep And Bear Arms
DAV
- 2ndovc
- Advanced Levergunner
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Re: My turn to mourn
Sorry to hear.
Been there enough times to know how hard it is.
jason
Been there enough times to know how hard it is.
jason
jasonB " Another Dirty Yankee"
" Tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"
" Tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"
- Old Time Hunter
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Re: My turn to mourn
Sending my best regards...have known the feeling in the past. Expecting it in the not so near future also, my pups are both fourteen and pushing fifteen. Pretty old for their breed.
Re: My turn to mourn
Great memories, very sorry to hear the news.
That last story sounds like your pup found the "Stairway to Heaven"...
Old No7
That last story sounds like your pup found the "Stairway to Heaven"...
Old No7
"Freedom and the Second Amendment... One cannot exist without the other." © 2000 DTH
- gamekeeper
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Re: My turn to mourn
Sorry to hear this Bill.
Sounds like you gave him a good life despite his problems and he repaid you with love, my condolences on losing your buddy.
Sounds like you gave him a good life despite his problems and he repaid you with love, my condolences on losing your buddy.
Whatever you do always give 100%........... unless you are donating blood.
Re: My turn to mourn
Sorry to hear that, been down that road too many times myself. They sure are a friend like no other.
Re: My turn to mourn
So sorry for your loss! I lost my own little blind dog Winnie a few years back. It was amazing how so dealt with her limitation.
- Griff
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Re: My turn to mourn
Condolences.
Griff,
SASS/CMSA #93
NRA Patron
GUSA #93
There is a fine line between hobby & obsession!
AND... I'm over it!!
No I ain't ready, but let's do it anyway!
SASS/CMSA #93
NRA Patron
GUSA #93
There is a fine line between hobby & obsession!
AND... I'm over it!!
No I ain't ready, but let's do it anyway!
- Streetstar
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Re: My turn to mourn
Sorry for your loss , friend. I know very well that our pets are part of our family and its rough when one of them has to cross over Jordan
----- Doug
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- Advanced Levergunner
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Re: My turn to mourn
Sorry friend.
Re: My turn to mourn
I offer my prayers to you. Blessings
Mike Johnson,
"Only those who will risk going too far, can possibly find out how far one can go." T.S. Eliot
"Only those who will risk going too far, can possibly find out how far one can go." T.S. Eliot
Re: My turn to mourn
this ^hfcable wrote:very sorry to hear this. a wonderful post about a wonderful friend.
you honored your friend and shared him with us, thanks for that
condolences,
- 7.62 Precision
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Re: My turn to mourn
Very sorry. My heart hurts for you.
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Re: My turn to mourn
It is a shame they leave so soon.
Poor thing.
Nathan.
Poor thing.
Nathan.
Psalm ch8.
Because I wish I could!
Because I wish I could!
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Re: My turn to mourn
My condolences Bill. Your little friend knew he was loved, and loved you . That makes for a great life. All any of us can ask for.,,DT
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- Advanced Levergunner
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Re: My turn to mourn
Sorry, It's never easy
Re: My turn to mourn
Sorry he's gone. You gave him a great life.
If you're gonna be stupid ya gotta be tough-
Isiah 55:8&9
It's easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled.
Isiah 55:8&9
It's easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled.
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- Advanced Levergunner
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Re: My turn to mourn
A friend on another forum shared this with me, from a sign in his vet's office:
"Each time I get a new dog it gives me a piece of its heart. Each time a dog leaves me, it takes a piece of mine. One day I realized that if I have enough dogs during my life my heart will one day be 100% dog, and then I will know about true loyalty and courage."
"Each time I get a new dog it gives me a piece of its heart. Each time a dog leaves me, it takes a piece of mine. One day I realized that if I have enough dogs during my life my heart will one day be 100% dog, and then I will know about true loyalty and courage."
- earlmck
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Re: My turn to mourn
Very sorry to hear of your loss Bill. But you write one heck of an obituary-- I feel like I knew your little guy!
The greatest patriot...
is he who heals the most gullies. Patrick Henry
is he who heals the most gullies. Patrick Henry
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Re: My turn to mourn
Thanks Earl. Good to hear from the champeen juniper slayer of Crook County!
Re: My turn to mourn
Sorry for your loss...dog friends are some of the best people we'll ever know....blessings...prayers sent... :)
Re: My turn to mourn
sorry for your loss....I know what you are going through....
hang in there
hang in there
LETS GO SHOOT'N BOYS
Re: My turn to mourn
I caught this late but no less sad for your loss. They are so special to us. Been there as many of us have. It does get better, but can take some time--and sometimes another critter. I didn't think it would, but after losing my beloved Springer several years ago, a friend talked me into visiting the local shelter (pound), against my initial druthers and skepticism--still so sad and "too soon" (and what are you going to find at such a place anyway?) I argued. Eventually a counter-argument prevailed of "make something good out of a bad situation," and turn a sad situation into a glad one for another critter.
Lo and behold, there he was, my new companion waiting for me (and on his "last day" the kennel tag suggested! Amazingly, no one had claimed or chosen him despite a "look at me! kennel choice" poster on his pen. Best thing I ever did--for him (I assume!) and me. Another Springer "just like the other one." Not really, different personalities but just as special in his own right--and Springer (insert breed of your choice) owners will attest, they really are "all the same" in a unique way, those eyes, that look--right?! Again, I didn't think it would/could be so but, from the moment the new fella enthusiastically jumped (sprang!) up into my truck--then immediately obeyed when I told him to "get in back"!--it was as if he'd always been with me, and my focus changed entirely to our new situation and a new--but as it turned out happy and easy--challenge of welcoming a newcomer into his new home. And, it made my lost boy no less fondly remembered but it did make him less sadly missed. I'd lost the other one prematurely at 6-1/2. The vet said he thought the new guy was about that when I got him, and I got a 'nother joyous 6-1/2 from him. So, selfishly, I got a whole dog's life out of the two! I'm not overly relijus, but makes you wonder about such things! And while skeptics might argue otherwise, (it helped) I chose to think of this at least as "kismet," even divine will; it certainly felt that way.
Lo and behold, there he was, my new companion waiting for me (and on his "last day" the kennel tag suggested! Amazingly, no one had claimed or chosen him despite a "look at me! kennel choice" poster on his pen. Best thing I ever did--for him (I assume!) and me. Another Springer "just like the other one." Not really, different personalities but just as special in his own right--and Springer (insert breed of your choice) owners will attest, they really are "all the same" in a unique way, those eyes, that look--right?! Again, I didn't think it would/could be so but, from the moment the new fella enthusiastically jumped (sprang!) up into my truck--then immediately obeyed when I told him to "get in back"!--it was as if he'd always been with me, and my focus changed entirely to our new situation and a new--but as it turned out happy and easy--challenge of welcoming a newcomer into his new home. And, it made my lost boy no less fondly remembered but it did make him less sadly missed. I'd lost the other one prematurely at 6-1/2. The vet said he thought the new guy was about that when I got him, and I got a 'nother joyous 6-1/2 from him. So, selfishly, I got a whole dog's life out of the two! I'm not overly relijus, but makes you wonder about such things! And while skeptics might argue otherwise, (it helped) I chose to think of this at least as "kismet," even divine will; it certainly felt that way.
Re: My turn to mourn
My condolences on your loss. I have lost a great dog, and know the pain and sorrow. Time will let you move forward, but the memory stays with you. That is just God's way of keeping you in contact with your friend. Prayers sent for you.
D. Brian Casady
Quid Llatine Dictum Sit, Altum Viditur.
Advanced is being able to do the basics while your leg is on fire---Bill Jeans
Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up---Robert Frost
Quid Llatine Dictum Sit, Altum Viditur.
Advanced is being able to do the basics while your leg is on fire---Bill Jeans
Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up---Robert Frost
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Re: My turn to mourn
Very sorry for your loss. Our dogs are "family" and we're with them almost all the time (and vice versa).
Unfortunately they are not so long-lived as we and we have suffered through the loss of several of our friends over the years. Your pain will ease friend, but the memories will stay with you.
Unfortunately they are not so long-lived as we and we have suffered through the loss of several of our friends over the years. Your pain will ease friend, but the memories will stay with you.
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- Advanced Levergunner
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Re: My turn to mourn
Gak, that's a great story about your second Springer. I've had two Brittanies and am fond of that spaniel look and temperament.
We'll be getting another dog or two, but Gunnar was special.
Thanks for all the good thoughts, friends.
We'll be getting another dog or two, but Gunnar was special.
Thanks for all the good thoughts, friends.
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Re: My turn to mourn
Thanks for sharing your story of great love and great loss, Bill. I'm facing the loss of my Lab soon. I think she's living on love and memories now. I'm digging her grave today before the ground freezes. I've shed tears already and will again when the time comes to lay her to rest. I know you did as well.earlmck wrote:Very sorry to hear of your loss Bill. But you write one heck of an obituary-- I feel like I knew your little guy!
Blessings in all things, Bill.
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- Advanced Levergunner
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Re: My turn to mourn
Bill, wish I were closer, so I could help.
Re: My turn to mourn
Sorry for your loss.
Jeremy
GySgt USMC Ret
To err is human, To forgive is devine, Neither of which is Marine Corps policy
Semper Fidelis
GySgt USMC Ret
To err is human, To forgive is devine, Neither of which is Marine Corps policy
Semper Fidelis
Re: My turn to mourn
I am sorry for your loss.