Humor - The Angry Lawyer

Kilroy6644 · Post by **Kilroy6644** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 9:07 pm

A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Porsche Carrera GT in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck came along too close to the curb and completely tore off the driver's door.
Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Porsche, his lights flashing. But, before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically about how his Porsche, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how hard the body shop tries to make it new again.
After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer. The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck hit you!!!"
"OH, MY GOD!" screamed the lawyer. "MY ROLEX!"

Post by **Ysabel Kid** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 9:45 pm

Jarhead · Post by **Jarhead** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 10:10 pm

Very good...

piller · Post by **piller** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 11:18 pm

Jaguarundi · Post by **Jaguarundi** » Thu Apr 03, 2008 1:21 am

Borregos · Post by **Borregos** » Thu Apr 03, 2008 6:26 am

RIHMFIRE · Post by **RIHMFIRE** » Thu Apr 03, 2008 6:52 am

Theres always a bit of truthe in good humor!

TedH · Post by **TedH** » Thu Apr 03, 2008 6:56 am

Now that's funny!

WCF3030 · Post by **WCF3030** » Thu Apr 03, 2008 6:56 am

How true.

gamekeeper · Post by **gamekeeper** » Thu Apr 03, 2008 7:30 am

rjohns94 · Post by **rjohns94** » Thu Apr 03, 2008 8:26 am

JReed · Post by **JReed** » Thu Apr 03, 2008 11:59 am

Blaine · Post by **Blaine** » Thu Apr 03, 2008 12:23 pm

That's pretty good...... That truck really clocked him a good 'un.

cnjarvis · Post by **cnjarvis** » Thu Apr 03, 2008 12:47 pm

BlaineG wrote:That's pretty good...... That truck really clocked him a good 'un.

Groan

stretch · Post by **stretch** » Thu Apr 03, 2008 4:29 pm

That's terrific, that is!

JohnnyReb · Post by **JohnnyReb** » Thu Apr 03, 2008 5:19 pm

Hey! I resemble that remark!

Lawyers always have the best lawyer jokes:

(An Old One): What is the difference between a dead possum lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road?
There are skidmarks in front of the possum.....

How could you tell the lawyer was lying? HIS LIPS WERE MOVING...

JohnnyReb · Post by **JohnnyReb** » Thu Apr 03, 2008 5:30 pm

Last Lawyer joke:
(Actually shows the skills we sometimes possess)

Lawyer gets pulled over by a young patrolman for speeding.
Patrolman asks the usual question: "Where are you going in such a hurry?"
Lawyer replies that he had just murdered his wife and her body was in the trunk. He was in a rush to bury her body together with the bloody knife located in the glovebox.
Young Patrolman handcuffs the lawyer, places him in the back of the cruiser and calls for his supervisor.
Upon the arrival of the supervisor, Young Patrolman tells him about the dead body in the trunk.........They open the trunk to discover>>>>>nothing. Well, the patrolman says a bloody knife is in the glovebox!! Again.......nothing....

As the supervisor releases the handcuffs on the lawyer, the attorney turns and says: I think the boy has been working too hard, next he will try and tell you that I was speeding!

bogus bill · Post by **bogus bill** » Thu Apr 03, 2008 5:39 pm

Whats black and brown at looks good on a lawyer?

A rottweiler!

iceman · Post by **iceman** » Thu Apr 03, 2008 7:13 pm

How time flies.