OT But Important to me, Need advice

Bigahh · Post by **Bigahh** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 10:16 pm

Guys I am in a bit of a pickle with my sister on what I think is a serious matter, and need some advice from veteran Hunters, and Shooters. Neither her, or my Brother in Law like guns very much, and they have 2 boys 23, and 12 years old. I brought the older one up Hunting, and fishing with the permission of both parents, and the parents couldn't be happier with the outcome.The whole family knows the same thing is about to happen with the younger one as he just turned 12, and cannot get enough of tagging with me on weekends. He sits in the Duck Blind, sits alongside me in a tree stand in any weather, and has taken a Large Doe this past fall with my .308 in our States early youth hunt. He has saved up enough money to buy his Benelli shotgun like mine for bird hunting. I plan on giving him a Marlin 336 in 35 Rem. that is hardly used I found on sale when we pick up his shotgun next week. His mother will buy a scope to go with it. He knows his gun(s) have to be kept in my safe until he is of age, just like his brother did. My problem is this. My sister has a good friend who I barely know that has a young boy a little older than my nephew, they are not friends really at all. My sisters thinking is Hunting may help this boy stay out of trouble he has been getting into in school, and on the streets. She has asked me to take this boy with, and teach him to hunt with a gun is his own hands, and maybe it would change what he likes to do in his spare time. I do not know the parents, and I think my sister is asking a bit too much as he should be brought into it a little slower, and probably from someone in his own family. I don't know anything about this boy to just put a gun in his hands, and take him hunting. Please give me your opinions on this, and I will give this link to my sister so she can read some honest opinions on what I think is a very serious matter. Hunting, and Shooting is not like Baseball, or Fishing. I may be wrong, but I want to hear what some of you have to say. Thanks in advance.

J Miller · Post by **J Miller** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 10:28 pm

Don't do a thing until you get the parents together and get their permission.
Then get it in writing. This boy may need help, but since you do not know him or his family you could be stepping on a land mine of trouble.

Be careful with this.

I kind of think your sisters heart is in the right place, but her judgment may not be.

Joe

Post by **Ysabel Kid** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 10:39 pm

J Miller wrote:Don't do a thing until you get the parents together and get their permission.
Then get it in writing. This boy may need help, but since you do not know him or his family you could be stepping on a land mine of trouble.

Be careful with this.

I kind of think your sisters heart is in the right place, but her judgment may not be.

Joe

+1. I admire you for your willingness to help, but tread very carefully here...

FWiedner · Post by **FWiedner** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 10:40 pm

Many young men need mentors, but you don't know this kid, nor do you know his family, or his background.

I'm sure you want to help in some way because you're a nice guy, but do you really want your butt in this sling?

505stevec · Post by **505stevec** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 10:46 pm

I would say, take him and your nephew somewhere inaucuous first and maybe a second time. Of course with the parents permission. Check his aptitude for serious learning and respect. If he has none then you have only lost the cost of a little time. If he looks like most boys that have no direction in life from mom and dad maybe the time will be tremendously productive for everyone. Good luck

gundownunder · Post by **gundownunder** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:06 pm

I certainly wouldn't be putting a gun in his hand till I knew him and had met his parents and got their feelings on the subject.
You take this kid out into the bush and something (anything) happens and you would be totally responsible, and I dont just mean something gun related.
We have kids come to our gun club with their parents and while the club and maybe even the parent have .22 rifles the kid will see a .357 or other rifle and want to try it, and even at the club and under totally safe conditions I wont put my rifle in the kids hand unless I have spoken to his father first and have his father present while I instruct the kid on how to use my gun.
Once all the formalities are out of the way, go for it, because the more people that love our sport the more chance we have of keeping it.

mod71alaska · Post by **mod71alaska** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:24 pm

505stevec wrote:I would say, take him and your nephew somewhere inaucuous first and maybe a second time.

I agree with your concerns, Bigahh, and 505 above. Get to know the boy before you offer to take him hunting or put a firearm in his hands. Since the mother of this boy is a good friend of your sister, you might ask your sister to invite the boy's family over for a BBQ and you be there. Maybe throw a baseball or football around some. See how it goes. If it goes well, you might say to the Dad and son, "Hey, we're going to go scouting in the woods next Saturday, would you and/or your son like to go?" Again, see how it goes. Then, and only then, maybe extend an invitation to shoot .22s at the range without mentioning any hunting, yet. You'll know.

I was a "Big Brother" to a young boy when I was in college. We met twice a week and did lots of things together, including canoeing, hiking in the woods, and shooting bows and arrows (as well as spending time in the library doing homework.) We became very close, and are close to this day 40 years later. The time we spent together made a big difference in both our lives. Good luck! It's a very good thing you're thinking about doing.

Jeeps · Post by **Jeeps** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 11:45 pm

mod71alaska wrote:Since the mother of this boy is a good friend of your sister, you might ask your sister to invite the boy's family over for a BBQ and you be there. Maybe throw a baseball or football around some. See how it goes. If it goes well, you might say to the Dad and son, "Hey, we're going to go scouting in the woods next Saturday, would you and/or your son like to go?" Again, see how it goes. Then, and only then, maybe extend an invitation to shoot .22s at the range without mentioning any hunting, yet. You'll know.

Best advise you could prolly get right there.

Always make sure Parents know what there kids are doing.

If someone took my son to a Hillary rally and I found out after the fact, I'd
be one angry Slavic son of a beeatch.

old goat · Post by **old goat** » Tue Apr 01, 2008 12:21 am

...Since the boys are not really friends, I'd say no. Your nephew should have all your attention. Also, the other boy may feel he is being forced into doing something he doesn't want to do, with someone he may not want to be with. Just because the parents are friends, doesn't mean the boys are. The boys may not want to be friends or to spend time around each other. Talk to your nephew and get his opinion on this, before you agree to any such deal.

...old goat

HEAD0001 · Post by **HEAD0001** » Tue Apr 01, 2008 12:34 am

It seems to me you also said something about fishing?? IMO you can tell how serious a kid is by a bad day of fishing. Take him fishing with your nephew. That would be easy to do. No guns involved. You will learn a lot about his character in a couple of fishing trips. Then make your decision. Tom.

Post by **Old Savage** » Tue Apr 01, 2008 12:55 am

Slow approach - see what is going on - use your own judgement which seems to be good.

Charles · Post by **Charles** » Tue Apr 01, 2008 6:39 am

I think you have received some very good advise. I would want to meet the parents first and get their permission in writting. We are living in different times, when a grown man takes a boy into the woods can raise eyebrows. Our church has a "child safety policy" which requires two non-related adults to be present with children and youth. Strange times indeed, but that is a current reality like it or not.

RIHMFIRE · Post by **RIHMFIRE** » Tue Apr 01, 2008 7:30 am

I would take the kid and introduce him to the great outdoors...
Best thing to do is take them hiking this spring when the woods
come alive...birds building nests...deer giving birth...
teach him to track...teach him to fish,.... the hole nine yards...
Take them turkey hunting!
Then take them to the range....take his parents too!
Teach them the rules of handling firearms and archery equipment.
All this stuff will teach him patience, discipline, concentration...etc.
My parents never had to hunt for me.....
because they always knew I was hunting, fishing or playing soccer.

Pete44ru · Post by **Pete44ru** » Tue Apr 01, 2008 9:50 am

As Victor so nicely put it, you don't have to put a gun in someone's hands, to take them out hunting.

My son and both daughters simply accompanied me on my hunts (in different years) when they were pre-teenagers - which hunting trips I took care to make as interesting as I could.

The result - my son is still an avid hunter 30 years later, my younger daughter hunted until she discovered boys (but still likes to range shoot), and my elder daughter pronounced on her first outing that she liked getting out, liked seeing me take some game - but didn't want to kill anything herself. Her son (my grandson) got the same treatment, and now hunts sporadically with me.

You do need to meet with the boy's parents, and (IMHO) your sister ought to be present to see what happens.
Some older kids are very hard to change, since their perspective has been shaped (or not shaped) from birth by the parent(s) - and an apple doesn't fall too far from the tree by itself.

If things don't work out, at any time, it's probably a good idea to let your sister first hear it from her son(s), ILO you - although you should also communicate with her.