The Humor Thread

[awp101]

OK, it's been a little heavy around here lately. Very understandable but everyone can use a good chuckle every so often.

If The Powers that Be don't mind, I thought I'd start a thread for all of us to post some of those bits of humor we all run across at times (within the forum rules of course ). Keeping them in one place kind of makes it easier to find that little bit of pick me up we all need sometimes.

I'll start with some pics off the work computer:

[stretch]

That there camo couch looks like a useful item.

Now if I could only stop snoring......

Is there a noise suppression/stealth sort of attachment ya think?!?

-Stretch

[awp101]

That there camo couch looks like a useful item.

Now if I could only stop snoring......

Is there a noise suppression/stealth sort of attachment ya think?!?

-Stretch

Two words: Protective Mask aka ProMask aka Gas Mask

[2ndovc]

AND!




jb

[1894]

I love this vid . Sometimes when confronted by a bear a simple calm voice is all that is needed . A powerfull handgun or rifle is a very good back up plan if it is needed

http://www.wimp.com/curiousbear

[Rusty]

I always liked the picture of the EOD guy in the bomb suit doing his thing while someone about to bust a paper bag sneaks up behind him.

Anyone have that one saved?

[Shasta]

[1894]

[1894]

I always liked the picture of the EOD guy in the bomb suit doing his thing while someone about to bust a paper bag sneaks up behind him.

Anyone have that one saved?

I think this may be the one , can't copy the poster but it is here at this link:
http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/v ... PqRCxEbdxV

without the motivational poster this is the pic I was thinking of:

[pokey]

a favorite of mine,

wicked_wok.jpg

[Rusty]

Thanks 1894 that's the one!

[RIHMFIRE]

[awp101]

I hope this works. I've never tried to post a video from photobucket before...

[gamekeeper]

By the way, the first photo of the Bear, did Ysabel Kid take that picture???

[1894]

I hope this works. I've never tried to post a video from photobucket before...

That worked , and I'm still laughing that was great

[stew71]

[oldgerboy]

A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart.
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
What do you think you're doing? asks the wife.
They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans he replies.
Put them back, we can't afford them demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
What do you think you're doing? asks the husband.
Its my face cream. It makes me look beautiful, replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price.

He never knew what hit him.

Next ... A Pharmacist's Monday

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone."
Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, "Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it.
This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car,
just to realize that I'd locked the house with both house and car keys inside and had to break a window to get my keys.
"Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire."
"When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and
started waiting on these people, all the time the darn phone was ringing off the hook."
He continued, "Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change,
and they spilled all over the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels and
the phone was still ringing. When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back
against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke." "Meanwhile, the phone
is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife.

She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.

And believe me mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her!!!"

[Rusty]

A friend sent me this tonight:


A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "You Can Be the MAN of Your House, the KING of Your Castle."

Finding new courage that he never knew he had, he stormed into the kitchen and boldly announced to his wife, "From now on, you need to know that "I am the man of this house," and my word is the 'Law.'

Starting tonight, you will prepare me a gourmet meal, serve it to me on our fine china, and when I am done eating my meal, you will clear then wash the dishes while I eat the scrumptious dessert you've served and drink the fresh espresso you've brewed.

After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will make love the way I want, without headaches or excuses!

Afterwards, you're going to draw me a bath so I can relax.
You'll put on some soothing music, wash my back, towel me dry and bring me my robe.

Then you'll massage give me a massage, paying special attention to my hands and feet in an effort to relieve any last bit of tension built up from the day, so that I can sleep like a baby.

Then, tomorrow morning, guess who's going to dress me, help me tie my tie and comb my hair?"



The wife replied, "The funeral director would be my first guess, unless I have you cremated."

[pharmseller]

Some of my favorites:









P

[Gobblerforge]

You know it had to rattle a little.
Gobbler

[Malamute]

[awp101]

A guy stops at a hotel for the night. The desk clerk tells him "The rooms are $15 a night but if you make your own bed it's only $5 a night."

The guy thinks about it and says "OK, I'm willing to make my own bed to save $10."

The clerk tells him "Great! I'll go get the wood, nails and hammer."

[Chris83716]

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden...
“Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I is sure of eet.”
“Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to meee.”

So with renewed strength, they struggle off up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree, just loaded with bacon. There’s raw bacon, dripping with moisture… fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon - every imaginable kind of cured pig meat you can imagine!

“Pepe, Pepe - we ees saved - eees a bacon tree!”

“Luis, are sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert, don’ forget.”

“Pepe, when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell of bacon? Ees no meerage - ees a bacon tree.”

And with that, Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres - Pepe following closely behind - when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up, and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.

“Pepe, go back man - you was right, ees not a bacon tree.”
“Luis, Luis, mi amigo… what ees eet?”
“Pepe, ees not a bacon tree… ees a Ham Bush.”

Just so bad I had to repost it....

Chris

[Malamute]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdLLdh1x ... r_embedded

[awp101]