OT - book on 'old men' getting away with more flirting...?

[AJMD429]

I can't remember the thread (or find it with 'search'), but around a year ago we were ribbing I think Old Savage or someone about all his 'girls', and anyway, someone posted a link to a book (on Amazon I think) or at least an essay, written by someone about how 'old men' get away with a degree of flirtation that is denied to the middle-age and younger crowd. The author was himself older, and I thing more of an economist or historian or inventor or something - not P.J. O'Rourke or Samuel Clements, as you might expect.

Anyway, the exerpts I read were hilarious but true, and I was going to send it to my daughter because I thought she'd find it humerous (she works around old men), but couldn't remember it. Anyone...?

[Hobie]

I will only say that I now get a gentle chuckle and perhaps a wink where I used to get a panicked look and the rush of air as they ran away.

[Old Savage]

There is something that changes and I will be interested to hear what various folks think it is. Women seem to be much friendlier and attracted to something like warmth. I think they feel freer to be themselves and have some interactive enjoyment out of it. If you look at the women on the plane in the in the reunion report they seemed to enjoy being entertaining whether they were taking turns or going on together. That went on for four hours from one subject to another with their life stories and present activities, pics of their husband and kids etc.

[Booger Bill]

Just this morning on the S&W site they were talking about getting old as john lennon would be 70 today. I posted the following:
Yesterday my wife and I were in a resturant in st. george. There were a bunch of very old women there dressed in softball team uniforms. A couple walked past us and I asked what the deal was. They were in some old peoples baseball team world olymipcs held there and were cutting up and getting awards. The woman told me they were from west virginnia. I had to quip that I had a old girl friend back there that probley was still looking for me from back in the early 60s from parkersburg. They went back to there table and later a couple of old squaws came over to look me over! I had a nervous minute or two!

[firefuzz]

IMHO, as we men get old....ahh mature a little, there is more of a calmness about us that allows our comments of appreciation, although possibly still invitations, to be viewed and accepted by women as either a compliment or invitation and not feel we're trying to step uninvited into their comfort zone. That in turn allows them to accept the comment with appreciation....in whatever manner they choose.

Rob

[Hobie]

IMHO, as we men get old....ahh mature a little, there is more of a calmness about us that allows our comments of appreciation, although possibly still invitations, to be viewed and accepted by women as either a compliment or invitation and not feel we're trying to step uninvited into their comfort zone. That in turn allows them to accept the comment with appreciation....in whatever manner they choose.

Rob

I was told I was "safe". I think that says it all.

[retmech]

Rob

]I was told I was "safe". I think that says it all.

I know, don't ya just hate that!

[adirondakjack]

It's simple, but alas sad. When you reach a point where the young gals no longer see you as somebody they could even remotely consider as a mate or date, you are deemed "safe" (regardless of the unusual instances or those gals with a daddy complex, we're talking "average" folks here). Lets face it, by the time yer in yer mid 50s, yer older than the parents of most gals under 30 or evcen 35, By the time ya reach yer 60s, yer "safe" to gals in their 30s and even 40s. By 70, even 50 year olds see ya as "dad".

My 85 yr old FIL gets away with a level of flirtation he NEVER would have when he was younger. Fat lot of good it does him, but hey, he enjoys himself.

[Sixgun]

I believe it come down to three things. After hitting 50 I really noticed it.

1.) The girls feel "safer" as they think us old/semi old guys can no longer "you know what" and they believe you are earnest in your conversation

2.) We old/semi old men project in our body language and conversation a calmness that we learned over the years to make the others "comfortable". When I was a young man, I was much more awkward.

3.) When I'm talking to women, they usually ask me, "Are you happy to see me?". I respond by telling them, "No, I have a potato in my pants" --------------Sixgun

[damienph]

About ten years ago, when I was only 46, I had an office job where I had to wear a coat and tie everyday. There was a very attractive younger woman that used to stop and talk to me every morning for a few minutes. I was (and still am) very happily married but still it was flattering that she would stop and talk to me. I found out a few months later that the woman who cleaned our offices at night was her mother. Anyway, while talking with her mother, I mentioned her daughter; the mother remarked "oh yes, you remind her so much of her (deceased) father." HUH?! Talking to her in the morning never was the same after that.

[Pisgah]

"Safe"? Well, I dunno. I have an 80-year-old friend who lives in a retirement community, and he gets more action than he's ever had. He admittedly is a handsome guy and in good shape for his age, but he'll tell you his secret right now -- he has a car and a driver's license. It's like he's gone back to high school...

[AJMD429]

Ahhh, but I'm still trying to remember the name of the book...!

Maybe it was Isaac Asimov or some Sci-Fi writer.

YEP - just found it...! - viewtopic.php?f=1&t=26653

Yep, Fred's "D.O.M.'ing it" AGAIN ! !

(He HAD to have read the book )



.

[Old Savage]

I think you fellows need to take a more positive view of this. Don't misread this safe thing. It means their emotions are safe with you.

[Bullard4075]

I would think this would be the post for some more pictures from Old Savage.
.
.
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Maybe it's just me.

[FWiedner]

Why not just zip on over to the AARP website?

[Old Savage]

Well OK then, these two are psychologists who both expressed the concept of women feeling that their emotions are "safe" with certain males. I am guessing that is what the gals actually see in Hobie's demeanor. The third gal here agreed or should I say expressed the same thought independently. I think they come to this concept in their 40s after some experiences otherwise.

[AJMD429]

I would think this would be the post for some more pictures from Old Savage.
Maybe it's just me.

Ha..! YOU are obviously NOT 'safe' then...!

Although I didn't mean to start a thread that got all 'deep' into human psychology (like Bullard4075, I just figured we'd get some more chic-pics out of it ), I think that the 'safe' thing can happen at any age, and just requires the woman to perceive that the guy in question sees them as a person, vs. a potential 'conquest'. It is one thing to openly acknowlege someone's physical beauty, but another to be 'predatory' about it. . . kind of like being around someone very wealthy, yet not having some kind of 'scam' in mind to bilk them out of their money.

Here's what Asimov says in his book, according to the Amazon review:

Let us imagine that you are a dirty old man but are dedicated to keeping it a secret because you are a bank vice-president and are interested in exuding an odor of sanctity so that no one will notice, until it is too late, that you are preparing to abscond.

Now a lovely girl walks past you with a dress whose neckline is generously loose and under which there is clearly and obviously no bra. What do you do?

What you do is roll your eyes briefly in their sockets with the eyelashes lowered so that no one will see what you are doing. The result? You don't see anything at all, except perhaps for one flash of quiver that is far more upsetting than sating.

And what is the girl's reaction? She sees that flicker of eye even if no one else does (since she's watching for it) and despises you as a rotten little coward. You see that look of contempt in her eye (for it goes through you like an ice pick) and your self-esteem is shattered. Indeed, there is a very good chance that the girl will instantly realize that a man who would look at her with so miserably sidelong a glance is a man who would abscond with every cent of the banks property and she will inform on you at once.

But suppose you are not only a dirty old man, but are proud of it, too, and suppose the same girl walks by in the same condition. Now it is possible to be joyous and open. You can emit a melodious whistle or a snort of pleasure. You can stare openly. You can walk over to get a closer view. You can address the girl in friendly fashion.

And how does the girl react? She is pleased that she has created such an obvious stir in a gentleman of such substantial and prosperous appearance. She realizes that you agree with her own opinion of herself and this can't help but impress her with the excellence of your taste.

Seeing in you a person whom she can respect, she will think, "What a nice, gentlemanly old man," and will smile at you. From that to a friendly word or two is but a step, and from that to a pat on the cheek or some slight pressure on the upper arm is but another.

You own self-esteem will shoot up and if you are the vice-president of a bank, you will be so buoyed up by all the this that you will go right to your office and put back all the money. This is only one example of many I can cite in which being an open and honest dirty old man is an enormous aid to public morality.

[... and from later in the book:]

Oliver Wendell Holmes, the great Supreme Court Justice, in his last years (he lived to be ninety-four), was walking down Pennsylvania Avenue with a friend, when a pretty girl passed. As all dirty old men must, especially when the dignity of the Supreme Court is at stake, Holmes turned to look after her. Having done so, he sighed and said to his friend, "Ah, George, what wouldn't I give to be seventy-five again?"

[Old Savage]

Well, attitudes toward cleavage and pulchritude. Different in different parts of the country and at times in history. At one time, they put tissue to cover the cleavage in Ann Margaret's dress on Johnny Carson. And that was rather modest by today's standards. Now, in the summer Calif is awash in cleavage some of it slightly outrageous in offices and largely ignored. Issac and Wendell would likely have loved it. If you notice in the reunion pics in NE Penn. there was none of it. It was cooler but that wouldn't stop it out here. As to the women's attitudes - they have mirrors and ... AJMD's astuteness may come from the likelihood that he sees much more in his work. I worked in a hospital for one year in an the xray dept and well... there is just no expectation of "privacy" there so attitudes are determined by many factors in women's lives. And - women like to be flirty friendly or joyfully warmly friendly. They like to control the line. Waving a red flag at a bull is different than waving a flag at an old bull. I think women are more interesting than men - we already know what they think and the other is mystery, somewhat. I think that their own attitudes change with what they wear. Here are two pics taken thirty years ago by the guy in the bottom picture. Look at Mary's expressions in the two pics and also that you are really only seeing the suggestion of seeing something here. What is she revealing in her expressions. We shall see if anyone thinks they are across the line.

[firefuzz]

IMHO, as we men get old....ahh mature a little, there is more of a calmness about us that allows our comments of appreciation, although possibly still invitations, to be viewed and accepted by women as either a compliment or invitation and not feel we're trying to step uninvited into their comfort zone. That in turn allows them to accept the comment with appreciation....in whatever manner they choose.

Rob

I was told I was "safe". I think that says it all.

Just let 'em keep thinkin' that.

Rob

[madman4570]

Hey speak for yourselfs guys!
Ever since I have turned 50 my butt is black and blue more times than not because of women pinching it



Bless their little hearts!


OS,
Some beautiful gals you have there!
If you ever write a book on what men need to know about women(I will buy it) Again nice photos!

[Charles]

Women are fairly certain that behind a younger man's smile there is but one thing he has going on in his mind. With an older man, they think he probably has another adgenda behind his smile. Sometimes the women are right, many times they are not.

[Booger Bill]

My wife is 17 years younger than me. I am comeing up on 70. We met 7 1/2 years ago. She probley thought me harmless. Here in utah I always introduce her as my "favorite wife". Someday that might backfire around here! In fact it already did once. My daughter was moveing to colorado and gave me a call. Dad, I am in town but have mom with me, can we meet? (Her mom and I had the worlds worst divorice). Okay, theresa and me will meet you at applebys. We went in and I noticed a couple poligamists sitting some distance away. My ex is also 12 years younger than me. I knew the waitress slightly and felt onery and stupidly motioned to my wife and said, "This is my favorite wife". The place had been loud but as usual everyone must have stopped to take a breath at the same time! Heads were popping our direction and the ex being her usual old self said loudly, "Well, I guess that makes me your least favorite ex-wife!"

[Hobie]

Well, I am non-judgemental and I only offer "solutions" when asked and those "solutions" don't always involve a firearm or whuppin'. Still, it is a bit of a downer to have become so debonair in my blue jeans and plaid shirts and yet so "safe".

Then again, there is hope for most of us. My wife's family mentioned, when my dear mother-in-law passed, how many single women went to visitation and brought food to my father-in-law. Those of us who survive are apparently sought after (especially with a car and driver's license!).

[adirondakjack]

The worst is when a woman some 15 or so years younger feels SO RELAXED in your company she starts talking about things she'd normally reserve for chats with a girfriend. One gal who I see fairly often in her place of business is like that with me (but not at all like that with men her age). I wanna grab her by the shoulders and shake her like an oblivious two yr old and yell "Hey honey, I may be older than you, but I ain't dead, and yer making life (difficult) over here."

[JHarold]

short story: I have a older friend, he is 87 now. On his 85th Birthday I took him to Hooter's for lunch. Our waitress was very attentive to us and after a while he put his arm around her waist and asked her if he could ask a personal question. She smiled and said sure, go ahead. He then told her how pretty she was and asked if she had a Grandmother that still dates. I spit beer all over the table. what a sly old dog he is.
when she stopped laughing she gave him a Birthday hug and then a peck on the cheek.

I told him I was learning from the Master.

[Rusty]

Well I gotta tell y'all I'm still not used to gettin that senior discount. I'm not sure which is worse, them asking if you want it or just puttin it on the bill.