...yes, he is single now!!!
Old No7
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Marriage (Part I)
A typical macho man married a typical good-looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: “I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want -- and I don't expect any hassles from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. And I'll also go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies, and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any questions?"
His new bride said: “Nope, no questions. That’s all fine with me. Just understand that there will be wild sex in our bedroom at seven o'clock every night -- whether you're here or not..."
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Marriage (Part II)
A husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary…
The husband yelled out, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife – Cold As Ever'!"
"Oh yeah?" she replied. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, “Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last!”
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Marriage (Part III)
A husband (who is a Doctor) and his wife were having a fight at the breakfast table. He got up in a rage and said, "Yeah? Well you’re no good in bed either!" and he stormed out of the house.
After some time he realized he was a little harsh and he decided to make amends and call her up. She finally came to the phone after quite a few rings, and the irritated husband asked: "What took you so long to answer to the darn phone?"
She said, "Sorry, I was in bed..."
"Still in bed! At this hour of the day… Doing what?"
"What you do all day… Getting a second opinion!"
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Marriage (Part IV)
A man had six children and was very proud of his “achievement.”
In fact, he is so proud of himself, he started calling his wife "Mother of Six" despite her objections.
One night, they went out to a party. After a few hours, the man decided it was time to go home and wanted to find out if his wife was ready to leave as well. So he shouted out at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Ol Mother of Six?"
The wife, much irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, blurted right back with:
"Any time you're ready -- 'Ol Father of Four!"
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Marriage (Part V)
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and lose the battle…), he wrote out on a piece of paper, "Honey, please wake me up at 5:00 AM."
Then he left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight!
Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he noticed a small piece of paper by the bed.
It said, "Honey, it is 5:00 AM -- Wake up!"
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