OT -- Thirteen Rules For Raising 21st Century Children

[alnitak]

Thirteen Rules For Raising 21st Century Children

1: Begin with infancy to give your child everything he wants. In this way he will grow to believe the world owes him a living.

2: When he uses bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he's cute and will encourage him to pick up "cuter" words.

3: Never give your children any moral training. Wait until they are 21 and let them "decide for themselves."

4: Avoid the use of the word "wrong." Your child may develop a guilt complex. This will condition them to believe later that society is against them and they are being persecuted when they are arrested for shop lifting.

5: Pick up everything they leave lying around. Do everything for them so they will be experienced in throwing all responsibility on others.

6: Let them read any printed matter they want or watch any movies. Be careful to sanitize the silverware and drinking glasses but let their minds feast on garbage.

7: Quarrel with your spouse frequently in front of the children. In this way they will not be too shocked when the home is broken up later.

8: Give your children all the spending money they want. Never let them work for their money. Doing chores can cut into their video gaming time. Why should they have things as tough as YOU had them?

9: Satisfy every craving for drink, food and comfort. See that every sensual desire is gratified. Denial may lead to conflict within the home and result in shouting, sulking and door slamming.

10: Take your child’s side against teachers, neighbors and police. They are all prejudiced against him. Denying your child’s involvement is your first and best defense.

11: Assume your child is good and only bad children use drugs and alcohol, steal, lie or have random sex. Crimes are committed by other people’s children who were born bad, but your child was born good and needs no discipline.

12: Strive to be your child’s best friend, not a parent with rules. If you teach them anything, make it useful survival skills like getting even when they think they have been disrespected and the proper application of violence to settle disputes and enhance respect.

13: Prepare for a life of grief and disappointment. It will begin soon after your child’s birth.

[Ysabel Kid]

I've meant parents who literally follow the first 12 rules. Needless to say, after discovery of this, my children are not allowed to play with their children. I dout they'd want their children playing with mine anyway. The rules in my house apply to all children, regardless of where they live.

Personally, I think so-called parents that "raise" their children like this are commiting a grievous act of child abuse. I am not saying this is "like" physical and/or sexual abuse in degree, but it can be very damaging in its own right. Children raised this way eventually come face-to-face with reality and are totally unprepared for it - and society normally bears that cost.

Being able to conceive and squirt out a kid does not make a couple parents - nor makes a male a man or a female a woman...

[stretch]

We've got some neighbors with kids like that.

They do basically whatever they want, and the
consequences for misbehavior or lack of respect
to elders in public is virtually nonexistent.

I try to keep my kid away from 'em.

When I was a tad, my father would've beaten
me to death for some of their stunts - and
they're only 5 and 7!

Your kids, even more than a spouse, are a reflection
of you - pretty much until death and even beyond.

-Stretch

[dr walker]

We have many children in our community that are being raised by some of these 'rules'.
As Ysabel Kid said the rules in my house apply to all children. I have seen how quickly so-called bad children can adapt to our rules. I will never exclude a child from my home because their parents are selfish and irresponsible.

[2ndovc]

Our neighbors are like that.
One kid is a really good kid, mainly because he hung out with one of ours.
The other is a drug dealing criminal!!

Amazing that one of them will be ok. Both parents are losers. I've tried so many ways to
get through to these people that it's not everyone else but maybe THEY might be the problem!!

What really gets me is I'm the only one willing to call the criminal out and I catch stuff about it.
"just leave it alone he'll go away"
Yeah right!!!

jb

[2571]

With a couple of exceptions, that's the way I raised my daughter. Grew up to be a right wing conservative, goes to church every Sunday, president of the Chamber of Commerce. 3 polite, well mannered kids, too (and still married to the same guy she married). Asks us to babysit her kids frequently.


Chac'un a son gout.

[Hawkeye2]

I spent 17 years teaching vocational education at the high school level and now that I'm retired I work part time substituting in the residential staff of a school for "troubled" boys 14 to 18. I'm not going to add anything to this post least it cause me to grind my teeth and loose sleep except to say that I hope the OP wasn't intended as humor because it is far too close to the truth to be funny.

[Blaine]

It's not necessay to beat your kids, or HAVE to win every little battle. The important thing is to set reasonable boundries and if you say something, follow through with it. I was never strict with movies or music, but I made darn sure "K" understood that this was not only entertainment, but very bad behavior and it would not be tolerated coming from her. BTW, the Amish,and the Clergy raise some very bad kids

[alnitak]

...I hope the OP wasn't intended as humor because it is far too close to the truth to be funny.

We really need a sarcasm font so people aren't confused. It's not a funny situation at all.

[El Chivo]

I remember a few families like that, in the early 70's. One family went hippie and taught their kids to smoke pot at the dinner table. They would all get high together just like having ice cream. The parents said it was the best babysitter they ever had, the kids just went off to bed on their own without any fuss. At the time the youngest was still in a high chair, and they said she was the best at rolling joints out of all of them.

I'd be interested to check the progress of those kids now. I remember the oldest boy was always in trouble, and I heard there were some business associates who wanted to kill him.

Eventually they moved to Colorado to live in a bus.

[Rusty]

We kind of used a different approach...


rule number 1) never let you child know for sure what you won't do to them should they misbehave.

[adirondakjack]

It's not necessay to beat your kids, or HAVE to win every little battle. The important thing is to set reasonable boundries and if you say something, follow through with it. I was never strict with movies or music, but I made darn sure "K" understood that this was not only entertainment, but very bad behavior and it would not be tolerated coming from her. BTW, the Amish,and the Clergy raise some very bad kids

+1
I got to try this stuff twice. The first go round was when I was younger, and had a spouse who was not doing her bit, and frankly, working 60+ hrs a week, neither was I. To say the inmates were running the asylum assumes ANYBODY was really running things.

I eventually wrested control of the situation, but trust me on this, it's a "no-win" deal, as is single parenthood. Remarried, my new wife, though honest and sincere, found step-parenting a naturally accursed relationship. I didn't do much better balancing that. My older son took what I would call a meandering, extended adolescence, with bunches of "issues" to work out. In his own words, the only constant in his life has been "Dad has my back" (even if that means while ripping him a new one for some escapade).
In his mid twenties, he's finally beginning to look forward and to live up to responsibilities as his rage at the world subsides....


Act two, child of current marriage, has known a secure family of origin, and two parents present and on the same page as much as possible. We don't have tons of rules, but those we have are NOT negotiable and consequences are certain when the rules are defied. He ends to to have the HIGHEST expectations and best work ethic of any of us. This kid is driven beyond belief to succeed and to stay on the good side of things. I can count on one hand with fingers leftover the times his school has called, (he's a junior in HS), and has NEVER missed the principal's list, etc. But he still tries to test boundaries, and of course as he gets older the boundaries get adjusted, but on OUR terms, and with the expectation that the rules in force will be enforced. I think he is gonna be OK.

So what did I learn? NO, Hillary, it doesn't take a village to raise a child, but dammit it takes two parents who make a committmment to stay with the program and get the job done before they make a kid. With the single mom rate and the divorce rate in this country, it is no wonder we incarcerate more people than any nation on earth.

[savagefan]

It's not necessay to beat your kids, or HAVE to win every little battle. The important thing is to set reasonable boundries and if you say something, follow through with it. I was never strict with movies or music, but I made darn sure "K" understood that this was not only entertainment, but very bad behavior and it would not be tolerated coming from her. BTW, the Amish,and the Clergy raise some very bad kids

+1
I got to try this stuff twice. The first go round was when I was younger, and had a spouse who was not doing her bit, and frankly, working 60+ hrs a week, neither was I. To say the inmates were running the asylum assumes ANYBODY was really running things.

I eventually wrested control of the situation, but trust me on this, it's a "no-win" deal, as is single parenthood. Remarried, my new wife, though honest and sincere, found step-parenting a naturally accursed relationship. I didn't do much better balancing that. My older son took what I would call a meandering, extended adolescence, with bunches of "issues" to work out. In his own words, the only constant in his life has been "Dad has my back" (even if that means while ripping him a new one for some escapade).
In his mid twenties, he's finally beginning to look forward and to live up to responsibilities as his rage at the world subsides....


Act two, child of current marriage, has known a secure family of origin, and two parents present and on the same page as much as possible. We don't have tons of rules, but those we have are NOT negotiable and consequences are certain when the rules are defied. He ends to to have the HIGHEST expectations and best work ethic of any of us. This kid is driven beyond belief to succeed and to stay on the good side of things. I can count on one hand with fingers leftover the times his school has called, (he's a junior in HS), and has NEVER missed the principal's list, etc. But he still tries to test boundaries, and of course as he gets older the boundaries get adjusted, but on OUR terms, and with the expectation that the rules in force will be enforced. I think he is gonna be OK.

So what did I learn? NO, Hillary, it doesn't take a village to raise a child, but dammit it takes two parents who make a committmment to stay with the program and get the job done before they make a kid. With the single mom rate and the divorce rate in this country, it is no wonder we incarcerate more people than any nation on earth.

My story exactly. best rule? Yes means yes and no means no. Boys especially need walls to beat up against, it gives them structure and they need it.