The Holy Gospel According to John (Moses Browning)

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colo native
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The Holy Gospel According to John (Moses Browning)

Post by colo native »

The Holy Gospel According to John (Moses Browning)



1. In the beginning was the 1911, and the 1911 was the pistol, and it was good. And behold the Lord said, thou shalt not muck with my disciple John's design for it is good and it worketh. For John made the 1911, and lo all of his weapons, from the designs which I, the Lord, gave him upon the mountain.


2. And shouldst thou muck with it and hang all manner of foul implements upon it, and profane its internal parts, thou shalt surely have malfunctions, and in the midst of battle thou shalt surely come to harm.


3. And as the ages passed men in their ignorance and arrogance didst forget the word of the Lord and began to profane the 1911. The tribe of the gamesman did place recoil spring guides and extended slide releases upon the 1911 and their metal smiths didst tighten the tolerances and alter parts to their liking, their clearness of mind being clouded by lust.


4. Their artisans did hang all manner of foul implements upon the 1911 and did so alter it that it became impractical to purchase. For lo, the artisans didst charge a great tax upon the purchasers of the 1911 so that the lowly field worker could not afford one. And the profaning of the internal parts didst render it unworkable when the dust of the land fell upon it.


5. And lo, they didst install adjustable sights, which are an abomination unto the Lord. For they doth break and lose their zero when thou dost need true aim. And those who have done so will be slain in great numbers by their enemies in the great battle.


6. And it came to pass that the Lord didst see the abomination wrought by man and didst cause, as he had warned, fearful malfunction to come upon the abominations and upon the artisans who thought they could do no wrong.


7. Seeing the malfunctions and the confusion of men the lord of the underworld did see an opportunity to further ensnare man and didst bring forth pistols made of plastic, whose form was such that they looked and felt like a brick, yet the eyes of man being clouded, they were consumed by the plastic pistol and did buy vast quantities of them.


8. And being a deceitful spirit the lord of the underworld did make these plastic pistols unamenable to the artisans of earth and they were unable to muck much with the design, and lo these pistols did function.


9. And the evil one also brought forth pistols in which the trigger didst both cock and fire them and which require a "dingus" to make them appear safe.


10. But man being stupid did not understand these new pistols and did proceed to shoot themselves with the plastic pistol, and with the trigger cocking pistols for lo their manual of arms required great intelligence which man had long since forsaken. Yet man continues to gloat over these new pistols blaming evil forces for the negligent discharges which they themselves had committed.


11. And when man had been totally ensnared with plastic pistol, the lord of the underworld didst cause a plague of the terrible Ka-BOOM to descend upon man and the plastic pistols delivered their retribution upon men. And there was a great wailing and gnashing of teeth in the land.


12. Then seeing that the eyes of man were slowly being opened and that man was truly sorrowful for his sinful misdeeds, the Lord did send his messengers in the form of artisans who did hear and obey the teachings of the prophet and who didst restore the profaned 1911s to their proper configuration, and lo, to the amazement of men they didst begin to work as the prophet had intended.


13. And the men of the land didst drive out the charlatans and profaners from the land, and there was joy and peace in the land, except for the evil spirits which tried occasionally to prey on the men and women of the land and who were sent to the place of eternal damnation by the followers of John.

Can I get a Hallelugah from the house . . .above copied from SASS (Shadow Catcher author)

Illegitumis Nil Carborundum M Logan
Last edited by colo native on Sun Apr 25, 2010 8:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Holy Gospel According to John (Moses Browning)

Post by Doc Hudson »

i'd give you a big old AME except for one thing.

i happen to like the Series 80 firing pin lock.

In fact i would not have an M-1911 until the Series 80 came out.

But I certainly no fan of all those bells and whistles that folks hang on their M-1911's.
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Lastmohecken
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Re: The Holy Gospel According to John (Moses Browning)

Post by Lastmohecken »

Well, this must be the New Testiment, as you failed to mention all of the works of John Browning before he made the 1911, I guess that's in the Old Testiment, which should include the 1886, 1892, 1894, and 1897 Winchesters, not to mention a lot of others.

As far as the 1911's go, they are my favorite semi-auto, and the originals were pretty good, but being of the sinister hand, (left handed), I do appreciate a good ambi-safety, and BoMar adjustible sights are pretty tough to tear up, although a good set of fixed is fine too. And a beavertail grip safety is pretty darned nice, also.

And low and behold, I have committed the final sin, and went and put a new Kimber Tatical Ultra II, (micro 3 inch 45ACP) on layaway at my local dealer's. It has night sights, ambi-safety, checkering on the front strap, and a ramped barrel, lowered ejection port, full length guide rod, and no barrel bushing. Will there be gashing of teeth over this one? I guess only time will tell for sure. :lol:
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Re: The Holy Gospel According to John (Moses Browning)

Post by COSteve »

And there you have a concise view into the mind of a die hard 1911 fanatic.
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Re: The Holy Gospel According to John (Moses Browning)

Post by AJMD429 »

Lastmohecken - you're officially a self-proclaimed sinner. . . as punishment, you need to go out and buy a stock 1911 pistol and shoot it 100 times. (Then you can donate it to me, if you still don't like it. . . :wink: ),
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Re: The Holy Gospel According to John (Moses Browning)

Post by Griff »

It is only the egotisim of mankind that leads it to think it can improve on perfection.

Long live the 1911... Hallejuyah!!! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
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Re: The Holy Gospel According to John (Moses Browning)

Post by Doc Hudson »

one more thing to add.

The original M-1911 suffered the same failing shared by every Pre-WWII handgun I've ever picked up. i.e. the sights are so tiny as to be useless. I greatly prefer the more modern high visibility sights.
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Re: The Holy Gospel According to John (Moses Browning)

Post by crystal river charli »

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Enough Said!

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Re: The Holy Gospel According to John (Moses Browning)

Post by Chas. »

One of the first precepts of handgunning is to hit what you aim at. So give me a good six-gun anyday. Screw the aim-and-pray auto-loaders.
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Re: The Holy Gospel According to John (Moses Browning)

Post by J Miller »

COSteve wrote:And there you have a concise view into the mind of a die hard 1911 fanatic.

HEY ...... I resemble that remark!!!

The 1911a1 or Government Model with just a set of better sights is the best bottom feeder in existence. All the rest of this nonsense like the big honking safeties, the beaver tail grip safety, all the moronic action modifications to appease lawyers is indeed an abomination.

I'll take a plain jane 1911a1 or Govt Model, the rest can have all the others.

Oh Chas. if you really feel that way, I'd suggest staying behind those who are shooting 1911s, you'll be a lot safer. :wink:

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Re: The Holy Gospel According to John (Moses Browning)

Post by Pathfinder09 »

You forgot the 1895 Win.

:D
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Re: The Holy Gospel According to John (Moses Browning)

Post by Lastmohecken »

Pathfinder09 wrote:You forgot the 1895 Win.

:D
Yes, I did, and I own one, too. Shame on me, it just slipped my mind.
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Re: The Holy Gospel According to John (Moses Browning)

Post by Lastmohecken »

AJMD429 wrote:Lastmohecken - you're officially a self-proclaimed sinner. . . as punishment, you need to go out and buy a stock 1911 pistol and shoot it 100 times. (Then you can donate it to me, if you still don't like it. . . :wink: ),

Actually, I do like the stock government model, and I wish I had bought a few old Remington Rands, before the prices went through the roof.
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Re: The Holy Gospel According to John (Moses Browning)

Post by Doc Hudson »

Chas. wrote:One of the first precepts of handgunning is to hit what you aim at. So give me a good six-gun anyday. Screw the aim-and-pray auto-loaders.
Charls, I'm with you! I'll take a six-gun every time.

But the Point-and-pray ain't the fault of the flatgun. it is the fault ot the morons who don't have enough sense to either use the sights or learn proper point shooting.

Though spray and pray is more common among flatgun aficionados than six-gunners, i've also know of folks armed with six-guns to rip off six shots as fast as they could pull the trigger and then stand ther clicking on an empty cylinder.

It is training and mind-set, not weapon type that matters.

Joe gave good advice though. It is always safer to shoot an opponent in the back than it is to shoot him in the front.
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Re: The Holy Gospel According to John (Moses Browning)

Post by Lastmohecken »

Chas. wrote:One of the first precepts of handgunning is to hit what you aim at. So give me a good six-gun anyday. Screw the aim-and-pray auto-loaders.
That's spray and pray, Chas, not aim and pray, but that is reserved for the wonder nines, a 1911 is still a thinking man's gun, that should be either aimed or pointed and one shot will often be enough, if aimed or pointed correctly, or maybe a double tap for insurance. :D
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Re: The Holy Gospel According to John (Moses Browning)

Post by Ysabel Kid »

Very good! :D
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Re: The Holy Gospel According to John (Moses Browning)

Post by rodeo kid »

Well, I'll still take My old Belgium made Browning Hi-Power over my new Kimber Crimson Carry. While the Kimber is OK, I bought the Browning in 1972 as my first semi-auto and it is still my favorite handgun and I have 19 combined with revolvers and semi-autos. God Bless.
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