'Rules of the South'

RIHMFIRE · Post by **RIHMFIRE** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 8:22 am

The 'Rules of the South' are as follows:

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot!!!!
"You aint no gansta"

2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. That's why they smell to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-40 goes east and west, I-65 goes north and south. Pick one.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 cotton strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. So every person in the south waves. It's called being friendly! Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
We also eat gators too!

9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday that starts at the beginning of September
archery season and does not end until January when general
gun season is over

10. We open doors for women! That is applied to all women, regardless of age. Even the ugly ones!

11. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... BUT IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

13. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice! You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish, and attrackes the gators!

16. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities, Universities, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come home for the holidays!

17. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.

18. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump stuff ain't music, anyway! We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!

19. We say grace and we say mam and if you ain't into that we
don't give a hoot.

rjohns94 · Post by **rjohns94** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 9:04 am

amen

Doc Hudson · Post by **Doc Hudson** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 9:33 am

That's just about the size of it!

GonnePhishin · Post by **GonnePhishin** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 9:48 am

Double Amen

Blaine · Post by **Blaine** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 10:15 am

Salt, pepper and catsup??? Nonsense, you can't make BBQ or decent anything with only that

1886 · Post by **1886** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 10:38 am

Good Stuff Brother. You substituted hoot for another word. Are you just being polite? 1886.

RIHMFIRE · Post by **RIHMFIRE** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 11:05 am

1886 wrote:Good Stuff Brother. You substituted hoot for another word. Are you just being polite? 1886.

YEP!
OTHERWISE HOBIE WOULD KICK MY.............
DONT WANT TO SAY THAT EITHER...

Barcelona Rick · Post by **Barcelona Rick** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 11:21 am

BlaineG,

Why in the world would you wanta mess up good smoked brisket, sausage, ribs or goat with some dang ole BBQ sauce ??
If the meat is smoked correctly maybe a little salt on the beef and a little salt/pepper on the goat....

jumbeaux

Post by **Ysabel Kid** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 12:26 pm

That's why I moved down here to begin with!

Blaine · Post by **Blaine** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 12:33 pm

jumbeaux wrote:BlaineG,

Why in the world would you wanta mess up good smoked brisket, sausage, ribs or goat with some dang ole BBQ sauce ??
If the meat is smoked correctly maybe a little salt on the beef and a little salt/pepper on the goat....

jumbeaux

You don't rub your meat down? I don't really need sauce for good BBQ, but I surely need onion, garlic, red pepper, sage, soy, sesame oil, and what ever else strikes my fance.... If you told a cook to come up with gumbo or a shrimp boil with salt and pepper, he's just look at ya like there was a third eye in your forehead

Barcelona Rick · Post by **Barcelona Rick** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 12:54 pm

BlaineG,

Man I agree about gumbo or soup but if ya are smoking the meat you don't need a rub (at least I don't).....and never sauce unless the meat is really dried out. Mesquite or Hickory that is well dried and then wet in a little water will make a really good smoke. Cook the brisket with the untrimmed fat side up so the juices will flow down and keep your temperature under 215* and the flavor of the beef will be outstanding. Somethings need flavors added but I don't think good beef or sausage or goat does.....but you know what my brother ?? That is why they make Fords and Chevys and why we live in the Greatest Nation on earth.....it's about personal freedom.....cook on....

jumbeaux

Blaine · Post by **Blaine** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 1:04 pm

jumbeaux wrote:BlaineG,

Man I agree about gumbo or soup but if ya are smoking the meat you don't need a rub (at least I don't).....and never sauce unless the meat is really dried out. Mesquite or Hickory that is well dried and then wet in a little water will make a really good smoke. Cook the brisket with the untrimmed fat side up so the juices will flow down and keep your temperature under 215* and the flavor of the beef will be outstanding. Somethings need flavors added but I don't think good beef or sausage or goat does.....but you know what my brother ?? That is why they make Fords and Chevys and why we live in the Greatest Nation on earth.....it's about personal freedom.....cook on....

jumbeaux

Next one will be just like you said...... Get a little bottle of brown sesame oil and put that all over with your salt and I'll be you'll be surprised.

fordwannabe · Post by **fordwannabe** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 1:17 pm

rihmfire, I promise you my Grandfather would be proud of what you say. Thank you. Tom

Rusty · Post by **Rusty** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 1:41 pm

I found a singer/songwriter named Michael Reno Harrell who has a CD out he did several years ago called "Southern Son." On the CD he has a song called "Southern Suggestions."

The Chorus says: "These aren't rules they're just some things we figured out.
To make living easy when you're livin here in the south."

It can be had on itunes .

buckeyeshooter · Post by **buckeyeshooter** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 3:21 pm

I'd be happy to say grace, when do we eat!!

Rusty · Post by **Rusty** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 5:15 pm

Try this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6uNXtOirs8

RIHMFIRE · Post by **RIHMFIRE** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 5:31 pm

Rusty wrote:Try this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6uNXtOirs8

ya gotta like that!

Birdman · Post by **Birdman** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 10:19 pm

I got the south in my heart even if my butt is in Illannoy. I was in Mississippi last week and had a good ol southern time. We ate, visited, shot guns, slept and repeated it all again.

Griff · Post by **Griff** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 10:49 pm

And when some nice, sweet, grandmotherly type sez, "Why bless your heart!" She ain't exactly sayin' "bless yer heart!" She probably means, "why you stupid, ignorant, nincompoop!"

My wife has that embroidered on a ball-cap... so I know when I'm in trouble!

fordwannabe · Post by **fordwannabe** » Fri Jul 17, 2009 12:19 pm

My grandmother from Virginia(who we all called Mur) didn't have to say a word she'd just look at you overr her glasses and you knew you were being stupid somehow. She is the lady that taught me how to shoot and fish and for that I will always be grateful(she had me shooting 22 when I was 5 but my Dad decided when I was 10 to "teach me how to shoot" and was very impressed with my "natural ability" and that I picked up gun safety so easily...we finally told him but not for years). When I am about to make a decision that might not be the right one I wonder what she would think and ....QUIT BEING STUPID. Looking forward to seeing her and Dad again someday. Tom

Sixgun · Post by **Sixgun** » Fri Jul 17, 2009 12:40 pm

Its that way here in Pennsylvania too. Its just the "others" get the press and more attention.

-------------Sixgun

Post by **Hobie** » Fri Jul 17, 2009 3:09 pm

jumbeaux wrote:BlaineG,

Why in the world would you wanta mess up good smoked brisket, sausage, ribs or goat with some dang ole BBQ sauce ??
If the meat is smoked correctly maybe a little salt on the beef and a little salt/pepper on the goat....

jumbeaux

Amen to that!

Blaine · Post by **Blaine** » Fri Jul 17, 2009 3:11 pm

Hobie wrote:
jumbeaux wrote:BlaineG,

Why in the world would you wanta mess up good smoked brisket, sausage, ribs or goat with some dang ole BBQ sauce ??
If the meat is smoked correctly maybe a little salt on the beef and a little salt/pepper on the goat....

jumbeaux
Amen to that!

Another one

JReed · Post by **JReed** » Fri Jul 17, 2009 5:12 pm

That sound about right.

Bogie35 · Post by **Bogie35** » Sat Jul 18, 2009 12:29 am

You forgot #20.
"Every good Southern home has a salt lick in the dining room."

bogie

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