OT:Babysitting a cute little 8 yo minx - UPDATE w/ PICS

[J Miller]

UPDATE ON LAST POST


A couple weeks ago or thereabouts I posted this thread:
viewtopic.php?f=1&t=8787&hilit=Big+Snak ... ttle+girls
Well, it seems that I've been volunteered to watch her a couple days next week. Nobody asked me if I wanted to, I was just told I would. Seems like it's very hard for her go get to like people and she has decided she really likes me.

Ohhh Kayyy.

So now I'm learning a bit more about this little minx. She suffers from ADHD and is not under medication for it. She was briefly but it turned her into a zombie.

Now, I've never had any kids of my own. My only experience with children was my step kids and they were all well over 8 when I got them.

Her mom is going to give me a break down on her do's and don'ts so I'll be OK there. It's just that I want to hit a happy medium. I don't want to be a tyrant nor do I want to end up twisted around her little finger. Very possible considering how I feel about little girls.

Soooooo, does any body here have any direct experiance with ADHD children, and have any advise they could give me?

I've done a preliminary Google search on it and will do an indepth read later this weekend.

Thanks a bunch for any help.


Joe ~aka~ The baby sitter

[Hobie]

Friendly, firm and steady. Everything is presented as matter of fact that's just the way it is. Safety first. You don't have to clean your plate but that's all there is. I haven't had problems with anyone's kids, yet.

[alnitak]

IANATP, but from my own personal experience, here are some ideas that may help.

Keep her occupied with a variety of activities, games and mental challenges (particularly things she hasn't been exposed to before). Don't get frustrated if she moves from one to another without completion or after just a short period of time. Be flexible. Engage in those activities she shows an interest in; stop when she wants to (or even a little before). Don't expect her to read a book for too long, or sit still for too long. You may need to have multiple things going on at once. Of course, she may find something that captures her entire attention ... go with the flow.

Sounds like from your previous post that you've already cracked the code to a certain extent. You'll do fine.

[dr walker]

Hi Joe,
I am with kids daily. The most helpful advice i ever recieved was dont overload them with nitpickin rules. Keep it simple. I always start my rules with an all encompasing rule such as, Always be respectful. I never have more than 4 rules.
I agree with others as far as keeping them busy.
With girls in particular I have found they are happiest when you let them help with a task. They love to be needed. It is a real self esteem and confidece booster for them to do something for someone else.
Good luck and enjoy.

[gundownunder]

Keep a careful eye on her, my son was ADD and a freind of the family had one who was ADHD and both kids had no idea how much danger they could create for themselves. Attention deficit really describes them well, they can hurt themselves very quickly and easily and then turn around and repeat the same act again. My son once ran into 4 veranda posts in a row before deciding that the other side of the veranda had no posts.

Dont forget the tranquilisers, the kid wont need them but you will

[FWiedner]

Show her how the lawn-mower works and make sure she's got plenty of water.

[2ndovc]

Show her how the lawn-mower works and make sure she's got plenty of water.

That's a great idea but most likely wouldn't work out so well. My wife's oldest is ADHD along with mild autism and turning him loose with
the lawn mower is about as useful as having Stevie Wonder mow the lawn. They have no patience for patterns or the concentration to complete the task.

In my experience they thrive on repitition of simple tasks and a schedule of events.

Every morning Quentin gets up between 5-5:30 and feeds the dogs. If they decide to sleep late he's up waiting for them. And a dozen other events through out the day.

His favorite things are his Game boy and his bicycle but I know he always rides the same route and plays the same games.

Repition and organization are key. Do the same thing at the same time each day and you'll be fine. They're usually not afraid of something new as
long as it's explained in detail. It's all about the details. Small bits of information that we take for granted can cause serious apprehension or fear.

I've read / studied a lot since I met my wife and her boys about autism and ADHD. I'd be happy to help any way I can.

These kids are special in so many ways. They just need a little extra understanding.


jb

[awp101]

Show her how the lawn-mower works and make sure she's got plenty of water.

A man after my own black little heart...

My youngest stepson was about 6 when we got married and he was/is ADHD. If he finds something that catches his interest, he'll get tunnel vision otherwise it's helter skelter.

Can't help much on the discipline part since The Boy has a short fuse and the typical 17 y/o male anger issues. At least I can tell my wife that those didn't come from MY genes...

[J Miller]

I've decided I'm worrying too much. We'll get it figured out. If nothing else I'll make her feel needed and get her to help me make my cylinder bags.

As for mowing the yard, she's so small I doubt she could even push the mower. And I know she couldn't get it started. But it's a thought for sure.

dr walker,
I'm a firm believer in the K.I.S.S. principle. And I hate rules. You are so right about that.

We won an antique galvanized hand crank ice cream maker on eBay last week. Hopefully it will be here soon enough we can get it all cleaned up and I'll get her to help me make ice cream. That should be fun. Fattening too!!!

Joe

[joachim slim]

my grandson is ADHD. he is on medication and does well. he takes it with food at breakfast so he is calm at school but is able to focus. as far as entertaining him he can be handful. he stresses me sometimes because he has problems focusing sometimes. he is a wiz at the computer and games on the computer. ( he is 6 1/2). we also have the hand held games that plug into the television so he can change often. puzzles are also a great thing for him. the key thing i have found is when i talk to him i make him look at me so i know we are connecting. he loves to wrestle and play ball also. i try to keep lots of things for him to do and it seems to work out.

[Tycer]

You'll be fine. if you need to get her attention, ask if she wants an elephant. Bark. Meow. Or some nonsensical question. I agree on the eye contact thing. Also on the KISS principal. Be firm - you are the Alpha, it's necessary. When it's bed time, it is. When it's time to put both shoes on, it is. It'll be easy. She'll love you.

[adirondakjack]

Friendly, firm and steady. Everything is presented as matter of fact that's just the way it is. Safety first. You don't have to clean your plate but that's all there is. I haven't had problems with anyone's kids, yet.

Yup. Been there, done that, it can be pretty ugly if ya let it, so don't let it.

Be clear who is boss without being a tyrant. NEVER cave in to a tantrum. Most times gentle but matter of fact and firm if pushed is respected, even by brats (what ADHD was called before it got a clinical name).

On the "entertainment" front, it is not your job to be the entertainment director. If she starts running you ragged, let her know "I'm too old to play dominos all afternoon. How 'bout we play for 10 minutes, then you watch TV for 1/2 an hour?"

One very good technique (with anybody of any age or temperment) is to offer "A or B" choices instead of open-ended choices that lead to who knows where. You don't CARE if she chooses baloney or PBJ, so ask "would you prefer peanut butter and jelly or baloney? rather than "what do you want for lunch?

[AJMD429]

Simple rules good.
Always nice to explain them if you can so they don't seem arbitrary (i.e. "don't go in there because there are dangerous tool in there") .

Usually someone ELSE'S kids do better with you than with their own parents, because they don't know what your threshold for becoming "dangerous" is - they know EXACTLY how far they can push mom and dad before they get swatted.

Oh yeah . . . don't forget the duct tape and hearing protectors . . .

[foxtrapper]

Take her to the pool. Olympian Mike Phelps had the same condition

[J Miller]

Let me introduce ..... Ciera:

My wife got this pic, I don't think she appreciated her lunch being interrupted.

The last two days have been an adventure. Both my wife and I watched, taught, and enjoyed this little gal. She is a hand full without a doubt, but not as bad as I expected. We'll be watching her again this Saturday, and then she'll start back to school Monday.

We got her hooked on a couple computer games. I got her started on solitaire, not an easy task for her. She had a lot of trouble associating the different numbers and suites of the cards.
But she's catching on and only a really minor frustration attack.

Mrs J Miller has a game called Zuma that really got her going. She actually taught my wife how to keep from getting killed in the game. We loaned her mom the CD so she could down load the game to their own computer.

Our cats have only one idea when she comes in, they go out. She's too much for all of them but our old lady cat to handle. Milly, the old lady cat, don't care.
Here's a pic of my wife vacuuming Milly with Ciera sitting by watching in awe. She said the cats at her house hiss, spit, and run like crazy every time the vacuum is on.


So thanks to all your help and tips we're having a great time.

Joe

[jeepnik]

Cute eight year old girl. And you think you have a chance one "NOT" being twisted around her little finger. Sir you are delusional. God made little girls for that express purpose. Although I had boys of my own, the neices figured me out early on. As sad as it was to see what they did to their fathers, if was shocking how easily I was turned into a pretzel. Oh heck, just enjoy it while it lasts.

[Hobie]

Joe,

HOW do you train a cat to be vacuumed? Mom's got a coon cat that could use that daily...

[AmBraCol]

Joe,

HOW do you train a cat to be vacuumed? Mom's got a coon cat that could use that daily...

I don't know how Joe does it, but I've found that after you cure their mineral deficiency they don't care what you do to them...

[J Miller]

Joe,

HOW do you train a cat to be vacuumed? Mom's got a coon cat that could use that daily...

Hobie,

We didn't train this old lady cat. One day my wife was vacuuming and she walked up kind of curious like. My wife started vacuuming her and now when she hears that vacuum she comes to where ever it is to get her vacuum job. I've tried to get a video of it once, but I don't know how to use the wifes camera and botched it.

Joe

[AmBraCol]

Joe,

HOW do you train a cat to be vacuumed? Mom's got a coon cat that could use that daily...

Hobie,

We didn't train this old lady cat. One day my wife was vacuuming and she walked up kind of curious like. My wife started vacuuming her and now when she hears that vacuum she comes to where ever it is to get her vacuum job. I've tried to get a video of it once, but I don't know how to use the wifes camera and botched it.

Joe

It sounds like she's a self confident ol' cat. Those are the ones that are fun to have around. Yesterday I was at the "humane society" equivalent here to get Burka's stitches out. (she got "fixed" a couple weeks ago - why do they say "fixed" when it wasn't broke to start with? but I digress) They've always got a few cats and dogs wandering around. They're the official residents and I've no idea how they graduated from adoptee candidates to full time supervisors. Anyway, several of the younger cats are hinky about unknown dogs coming through and never fail to hiss, hump their backs and generally attempt to show their disdain for unknown canines. But there's one ol' cat that looks like a marshmallow on toothpick legs that is merely cautious. She's a HUGE ol' cat (for down here) and sees no need to hiss and sputter - she merely walks around, perhaps giving a slightly wide berth to a freshly introduced canine but not being obvious about it. Anyway, I came near bringing a kitten home - the only thing that saved me was the sure knowledge that I'd be in deep manure should I do so. Getting a pup in the house was bad enough, somehow I snuck up on the blind side of SWMBO and when she realized what had happened it was too late. I dasn't attempt the same with a feline, not if I value my life. But there was a cute little ball of striped light fluff with blue eyes down in the kitten dungeon...