Master and commander!

[Nath]

A sea captain, in the days of yore, sees a pirate ship approaching his ship. He yells a to his men, "bring me my red shirt!"

One of the men does that and the captain puts on the shirt and leads his faithful crew to a battle with the pirates. They mange to defeat the pirates losing only one crew member.

The crew kind of wonders what's up with the red shirt, but do not question the captain.

A few days later, the captain is looking though his telescope and sees two pirate ships approaching. He again yells to the crew to bring his red shirt. He puts it on and leads the crew into a battle with the pirates. Losing a few more men, the crew still beats the pirates.

The crew, now curious, asks the captain about the red shirt. The captain explains, "you men expect me to be your leader and give you strength and confidence during a battle. Like you, I can also be injured in a battle, but I must continue to give you confidence, even if I get injured. The red shirt will not show any blood if I should be hurt in battle."

The crew now understands.

A few weeks later, in a different sea, the captain, being ever vigilant, peers through his telescope and sees ten pirate ships heading his direction.

The captains yells to the crew, "get me my brown trousers!!!!"

[Walt]

Good one

[Bill in Oregon]

[Griff]

Double that!

[mickbr]

Thats a good one

[gamekeeper]

[Ysabel Kid]

[Nath]

Dan a 80-year-old Belgian goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks," how do you stay in such great physical condition?"

"I'm Belgian and I am a golfer," says the old guy, "and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways.
I have a glass of beer, and all is well."

"Well" says the doctor, "I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your Father when he died?"

"Who said my Father's dead?"

The doctor is amazed. "You mean you're 80 years old and your Father's still alive. How old is he?"

"He's 100 years old," says the Old Belgian golfer. "In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk and had a little beer and that's why he's still alive. He's Belgian and he's a golfer, too."

"Well," the doctor says, "that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your Father's Father? How old was he when he died?"

"Who said my Gramps is dead?"

Stunned, the doctor asks, "you mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! Incredible, how old is he?"

"He's 118 years old," says the Old Belgian golfer.

The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, "So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?"

"No, Gramps couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today."

At this point the doctor is close to losing it. "Getting married!! Why would a 118 year- old guy want to get married?"

………………………………………


……………………………………"Who said he wanted to?"

[gamekeeper]

I didn't see that coming

[Nath]

I didn't see that coming

There is hope for all of us John