Signs of the Times

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Pete44ru
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Posts: 10611
Joined: Sun Sep 02, 2007 7:26 am
Location: Southern New England

Signs of the Times

#1 Post by Pete44ru » Thu Sep 13, 2018 10:02 am

.

Some roadside pun signs:

* IN SEARCH OF FRESH VEGETABLE PUNS - LETTUCE KNOW

* MOUNTAINS ARE NOT JUST FUNNY - THEY'RE HILL AREAS

* BAN PRE-SHREDDED CHEESE - MAKE AMERICA GRATE AGAIN

* TRIED TO GRAB SOME FOG - I MIST

* ANTI-SOCIAL VEGANS AVOID THE MEET

* IRONY - THE OPPOSITE OF WRINKLY

* DECAF COFFEE IS DEPRESSO

* MY MOOD RING IS MISSING - I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT

* DOGS CAN'T OPERATE MRI SCANNERS - BUT CATSCAN

* BE THE FUN IN DYSFUNCTIONAL

* I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM, THE POLICE COME, IT'S AWKWARD

* THE PROBLEM WITH POLITICAL JOKES IS THAT THEY SOMETIMES GET ELECTED

* BIG SHOUTOUT TO MY FINGERS - I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON THEM

* LIFE WITHOUT MUSIC WOULD b-FLAT

* WHEN YOU'RE DOWN BY THE SEA, AND AN EEL BITES YOUR KNEE - THAT'S A MORAY

* WHENEVER I EAT HEALTHY, A CHOCOLATE BAR LOOKS AT ME & SNICKERS

* TURNING VEGAN WOULD BE A MISSED STEAK

* FOR CHEMISTS, ALCOHOL IS NOT A PROBLEM - IT'S A SOLUTION

* QU!T ST&AL!NG R LETT&RS !

* WISHING YOU A WHATEVER DOESN'T OFFEND YOU

* LIFE IS SHORT - IF YOU CAN'T LAUGH AT YOURSELF, CALL ME & I WILL

* FORGET WORLD PEACE - INSTEAD, VISUALIZE USING YOUR TURN SIGNALS

* DESPITE THE HIGH COST OF LIVING, IT STILL REMAINS POPULAR

* ELECTRICIANS HAVE TO STRIP TO MAKE ENDS MEET

* MY RELATIONSHIP WITH WHISKEY IS ON THE ROCKS

* HUGE FIGHT AT LOCAL SEAFOOD RESTAURANT - BATTERED FISH EVERYWHERE

* TO THE THIEF WHO TOOK MY ANTI-DEPRESSANTS - I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY

* TO BE FRANK, I'D HAVE TO CHANGE MY NAME

* I LIKE COOKING MY FAMILY AND MY PETS - USE COMMA'S TO SAVE LIVES



.
IF IN THESE TYMES OF JEOPARDY,
MORTAL PERIL INVADES THY THOUGHT,
TAKE UP THIS TRVSTY PIECE,
TRVST IN THY GOD, AND FEAR THEE NAUGHT.

(The avatar is me, in 1948 ! )

.

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gamekeeper
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Posts: 11049
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 3:32 pm
Location: The wrong side of the pond.

Re: Signs of the Times

#2 Post by gamekeeper » Thu Sep 13, 2018 3:40 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
From his weapons on the open road no man should step one pace away, you don't know for certain when you're out on the road when you might have need of your spear.
Havamal ( Viking collection of common sense )

Nath
Advanced Levergunner
Posts: 7311
Joined: Sat Sep 08, 2007 1:41 pm
Location: England

Re: Signs of the Times

#3 Post by Nath » Thu Sep 13, 2018 3:50 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Psalm ch8.

Because I wish I could!

piller
Advanced Levergunner
Posts: 7463
Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 9:49 pm
Location: South of Dallas

Re: Signs of the Times

#4 Post by piller » Thu Sep 13, 2018 11:51 pm

When he's a comic and a ham with a last name of Amsterdam, that's a Morey.

When your horse is hungry and you use a pitchfork to feed him again, that's some more hay.

When King Kong leaves you flat, rent the film Vampire Bat, that's some more Wray.

If space gun stops sending bolts of light away, change the battery and hey hey, that's some more ray.
D. Brian Casady
Quid Llatine Dictum Sit, Altum Viditur.
Advanced is being able to do the basics while your leg is on fire---Bill Jeans
Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up---Robert Frost

piller
Advanced Levergunner
Posts: 7463
Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 9:49 pm
Location: South of Dallas

Re: Signs of the Times

#5 Post by piller » Thu Sep 13, 2018 11:52 pm

Apologies to Spider Robinson and the denizens of Callahan's.
D. Brian Casady
Quid Llatine Dictum Sit, Altum Viditur.
Advanced is being able to do the basics while your leg is on fire---Bill Jeans
Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up---Robert Frost

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