2018 Darwin Awards Announced

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Pete44ru
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2018 Darwin Awards Announced

#1 Post by Pete44ru » Thu Jun 14, 2018 5:47 pm

.

* Eighth Place:

In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.


* Seventh Place:

A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran", accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.



* Sixth Place:

While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom, when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.



* Fifth Place:

Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing.
The cause of death was when a long flashlight, which he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free, rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.



* Fourth Place:

Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.



* Third Place:

After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms, intent on robbing the store.
The shop was full of customers, and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter.
Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol.
The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired.

The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics.
Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop.
The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds.
Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons.
No one else was hurt.



* HONORABLE MENTION:

Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. - so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen.
Apparently they failed to notice that the window was closed.



* RUNNER UP:

Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic.
The conversation grew more excited, and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM.
Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge, they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope.
Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby.
They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the bridge.
His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle.
He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen.
Bingham's foot was never located.


AND THE WINNER of the 2018 Darwin Award IS:

Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn, Germany ) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of an animal laxative, then more than a bushel of berries, figs, and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief.
Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded...………..
The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him.
It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves that...………………………………………………………….....'Excrement happens’.


(MEMO): IT'S ALWAYS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE POOL.


.
IF IN THESE TYMES OF JEOPARDY,
MORTAL PERIL INVADES THY THOUGHT,
TAKE UP THIS TRVSTY PIECE,
TRVST IN THY GOD, AND FEAR THEE NAUGHT.

(The avatar is me, in 1948 ! )

.

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Ysabel Kid
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Re: 2018 Darwin Awards Announced

#2 Post by Ysabel Kid » Thu Jun 14, 2018 8:27 pm

Old ones... but still funny! :lol:
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Nath
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Re: 2018 Darwin Awards Announced

#3 Post by Nath » Mon Jun 18, 2018 7:15 am

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Psalm ch8.

Because I wish I could!

JerryB
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Re: 2018 Darwin Awards Announced

#4 Post by JerryB » Mon Jun 18, 2018 1:16 pm

At least they won't be breeding and voting.
JerryB II Corinthians 3:17, Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.

JOSHUA 24:15

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Sixgun
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Re: 2018 Darwin Awards Announced

#5 Post by Sixgun » Mon Jun 18, 2018 2:29 pm

Yea, that was good....funny thing how their names all ended in "ski"----6
OOW BAR 30-06...The Big Dog
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Paladin
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Re: 2018 Darwin Awards Announced

#6 Post by Paladin » Wed Jun 20, 2018 9:09 pm

Thanks for the post.
It is not the critic who counts

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Rusty
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Re: 2018 Darwin Awards Announced

#7 Post by Rusty » Thu Jun 21, 2018 6:01 am

You just can't fix stupid.
If you're gonna be stupid ya gotta be tough-
Isiah 55:8&9

It's easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled.

rossim92
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Re: 2018 Darwin Awards Announced

#8 Post by rossim92 » Fri Jun 22, 2018 2:20 am

as forrest gump said, "stupid is as stupid does".
Rossi 92 .357 lever
Henry .22 lever and a remington speedmaster 500 .22 lr
Marlin glenfield .22 boltaction
Mossberg 12 ga. pump
H&R 12 ga. topper
Mosin Nagant 91/30
Marlin 336W .30.30
Heritage rough rider .22 sa
Taylor smokewagon .357 sa
beeman sportsman rs2 dual caliber pellet rifle
henry .22 magnum pumpaction/octagon barrel

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