Humor - not really in CRC Handbook of Chemistry and Physics

[bdhold]

The Chemistry of Governmentium

The element Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of Teflon-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons or protons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction normally taking less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons. All of the money is consumed in the exchange, and no other by-products are produced.

[Marlin32]

Former Chem/Physics teacher here, and thats funny right there.

[guido4198]

Another Chemist who has spent a lot of time in the CRC Handbook....
That there is funny..Thanks for sharing..!!

[octagon]

I thought O Chem was going to be a game changer for me, but I got around it. Great joke.

[bdhold]

I took Organic at Vanderbilt. I didn't want a second semester of that and changed my major to metallurgy.
I aced P-chem, though. I had already taken ME thermo, knew Maxwell's relations and derived the whole class - the prof loved it.

[Pete44ru]

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Man - that's QUANTUM Governmentium Chemistry ! .



.

[bdhold]

yep, statistical thermo - particle in a box stuff.
You can actually calculate the probability, how infinitesimal, that all the neutrons, peons and morons in a mass of governmentium will vibrate in the same direction at the same time and actually do something.

[piller]

I think I saw that element on the periodic table of the Elekshuns. It is published about every 4 to 6 years, isn't it? That seems to be one of the elements that is always negative and has a bunch of charges it can give out.