QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME!

[COSteve]

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... But it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway...
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Why, Why, Why........
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

[Chuck 100 yd]

LOVE IT !!

[1894c]

i don't know...

[Griff]

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting? Rape
Can you cry under water? Yes, but they're diluted
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Public figures are assassinated
Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... But it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to? Taxes?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? No, you're issued a toga at the gate.
Why does a round pizza come in a square box? Not all do. But "round" boxes are VERY expensive
What disease did cured ham actually have? Lead poisoning
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? The President didn't ask for wheels on luggage
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours? It's not the length of sleep, it's the quality
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Yep, for it's not for them
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? TV is relatively immediate, movies were finished MONTHS ago
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Because they couldn't see the forest for the trees on the ground
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway... They don't want YOU seeing them looking at you
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural? The number of openings
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Because there are cretins walking among us
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Who sez it's stupid?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? He's an electrical engineering, mechanical is over his head.
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! It's an "artist" thing!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner? Scripts, they're really confining.
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? Petroleum?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Surely.
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Yep
Why did you just try singing the two songs above? It's called "double checking", but has nothing to do with banking.
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? Just like "military intelligence", an oxymoron.
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Why, Why, Why........ Carbon Dioxide.
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead? Denial. Common human trait.
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money? Overkill.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Come'n, really? Only 4 Billion?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Are you sure they do?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? No one would recognize him with one!
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? He's worried about denting the gun.
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? In the hope they get recalled.
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Different apes.
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Carbon dioxide.
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Christmas.
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? It's really about whether they've changed their mind.
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? It's about reducing static cling.
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? You first have to break the initial tension on the adhesive, when will then give way after a period of relaxation.
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? "Enclosed" is not the same as "sealed".
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? Clumsy.
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? Ambient differentials.
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? Fathers-in-law are no joke.

Ok, now you have the answers... There is no more mystery in life. What's left?

[Gobblerforge]

There ya go throwing facts and logic into the mix.

[Chas.]

Ok, now you have the answers... There is no more mystery in life. What's left?

Why do convenience stores that are open 24 x 7 have locks on the doors?

Why does Hawaii have Interstate highways?

[BedroomHowitzer]

Why does Hawaii have Interstate highways?

I think those are called "Inner"-state highways.

[COSteve]

Why does Hawaii have Interstate highways?

I think those are called "Inner"-state highways.

The correct is "intra" state.

[mikld]

Steve, Get some sleep, brother. Yer mind's working pretty hard...

[BedroomHowitzer]

Why does Hawaii have Interstate highways?

I think those are called "Inner"-state highways.

The correct is "intra" state.

For Hawaii, it was intended as a funnyhaha.

[Griff]

Ok, now you have the answers... There is no more mystery in life. What's left?

Why do convenience stores that are open 24 x 7 have locks on the doors? For emergencies.

Why does Hawaii have Interstate highways? Because they were built with Federal Transportation dollars.

Even "HAHA" questions have answers!

[bdhold]

Why do people answer rhetorical questions?

[Rusty]

Why is it that people log into Google Earth where they can look at anything in the entire world and yet they go look at their own house?

Griff?

[bdhold]

If progress is a positive thing, what does that make congress?

[FWiedner]

Why is it that people log into Google Earth where they can look at anything in the entire world and yet they go look at their own house?

Griff?

I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm just trying to make sure my WMD's aren't out in plain sight.

[damienph]

Why is it that people log into Google Earth where they can look at anything in the entire world and yet they go look at their own house?

Griff?

I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm just trying to make sure my WMD's aren't out in plain sight.

I check it every day to make sure no body is on my property when I'm not home!

[mod71alaska]

COSteve...now I'm haunted!!! Thanks a lot!

[Griff]

Why do people answer rhetorical questions?

What's the Levergun Mantra? "Because we can!"

Why is it that people log into Google Earth where they can look at anything in the entire world and yet they go look at their own house?
Griff?

I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm just trying to make sure my WMD's aren't out in plain sight.

Good answer.

To figure out where the horses hide in the pasture.

[piller]

why do recipe and prescription come from the same latin word?

[Griff]

why do recipe and prescription come from the same latin word?

I suspect you don't REALLY need the question answered! But, it has to with receiving instructions.

[3leggedturtle]

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural? The number of openings
Ok, now you have the answers... There is no more mystery in life. What's left?

Spent the better part of the day thinking about those possibilities My one question i have. People will ask me reloading questions cuz I have been doing it since '72, and when I answer them, they tell me why it wont or wouldnt work for them! So WHY in the SAM HECK do they ask me in the first place?

[FWiedner]

... People will ask me reloading questions cuz I have been doing it since '72, and when I answer them, they tell me why it wont or wouldnt work for them! So WHY in the SAM HECK do they ask me in the first place?

Well... There ya go.

You've been doing it wrong.