HUMOR-nomination for worlds best blonde joke

gundownunder · Post by **gundownunder** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 6:35 am

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In
order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to
purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I
decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul
it home."

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides
she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no
less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her
sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph
office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her
that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer
to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then
adds, it will cost 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull,
the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one
word.

After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send
her the word "comfortable."

The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you
want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to
haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word
"comfortable?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word is big. She'll read
it very slowly.... "com-for-da-bul."

JReed · Post by **JReed** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 7:12 am

Nice

Borregos · Post by **Borregos** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 7:20 am

Good one

Post by **Ysabel Kid** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 7:25 am

Glad to see blonde jokes enjoyed the world over!

jkbrea · Post by **jkbrea** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 3:21 pm

OK, Here's another one:

A blonde woman gets pulled over by a blonde female traffic cop. The cop asks for ID and the driver looks confused. The cops tells her, "It the thing in your purse with your picture on it."

She fumbles around in her purse and takes out her compact mirror. She opens it and sees herself in the mirror. She states, "Here it is!" and hands it to the cop. The cop looks at it and says, "Why didn't you tell me you were a cop." and let her go.

oldgerboy · Post by **oldgerboy** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 6:15 pm

Was the one about the blond pharmacy assistant posted here yet?

Post by **Ysabel Kid** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 11:21 pm

oldgerboy wrote:Was the one about the blond pharmacy assistant posted here yet?

Even if it was, it never hurts to post it again!

Ram Hammer · Post by **Ram Hammer** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 6:41 am

Did you hear about the blond who finished last in the breast stroke competition? She filed a complaint because the rest of the girls were using their arms!

Rusty · Post by **Rusty** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 6:44 am

Why are blond jokes so short?

So men can remember them.

edwardyoung · Post by **edwardyoung** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 6:04 pm

How do you tell if your landscaper is a blonde?

The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.

drdon · Post by **drdon** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 6:59 pm

Why do blonds wear there hair in pony tails??? to cover up the valve stem,,

Rod WMG · Post by **Rod WMG** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 7:35 pm

My all time favorite is this one.

a blonde went to the doc and said, "Doctor, I hurt everywhere."

He said, "Show me."

She touched her forehead with her index finger and said, "That kills me." Then she touched her elbow, "OHHHH!" Then she touched her kneecap, cried out and winced. "What's wrong with me doctor?"

The doctor regarded her carefully and replied, "Your problem is simple. You have a broken finger!"

Griff · Post by **Griff** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 7:58 pm

My all-time favorite:

A blonde finally gets fed up with being lumped in with her... (less than Mensa qualified) sisters and visits the beauty parlor. And has her hair dyed... red.

She is so gratified with her new look, she goes on a shopping spree. Buys a nice red outfit to go with the new do! Then, buys a new red Mustang convertible to compliment her hair and outfit; and allow everyone to see both!

She's so thrilled she takes a nice leisurely drive out into the countryside. Where her drive is interrupted by a sheperd driving his flock across the road. As she sits there, she's hit buy an errant thought. "Oh Sir!" she yells at the sheperd. "You probably need an accurate count of your sheep for the market. If I provide you an exact count, would let me have my choice of one sheep for my own?"

The sheperd agrees, so the new redhead begins her count. After about 15 minutes of watching, the last of the sheep has crossed the roadway, and the sheperd approaches for his tally.

"You have 8,362 sheep. And will have 8,361 after I take my selection."

The sheperd has been keeping his own tally, and knows the lady in the convertible has given an extremely accurate count. So, opening the door, watches as the lady gets out and takes possession of what she views as the most beautiful of his sheep. She then gets back in the car and prepares to drive on her way.

"Oh, ma'am," sez the sheperd, "if I were to tell you the color of your natural hair, would you let me have my collie back?"

HUMOR-nomination for worlds best blonde joke

HUMOR-nomination for worlds best blonde joke

Blonds