For Steve (was thinkin of you today)

[adirondakjack]

I got up late today. The house was quiet as my wife and son had gone to church, and planned to go shopping afterward. I puttered around in the shop a bit, checked email, etc, then sat on the back porch with my late breakfast and just soaked up a BEAUTUFUL day. About noon I decided this was a GREAT day to be alive, and I darned sure wasn't gonna waste it. I put my kayak and it's trailer behind the motorcycle, packed some cold drinks and snacks, my fly fishing gear and headed north, with no particular plan other than some riding, some fishing, and just soaking up a wonderful day.

A couple of hours later, after stopping once for coffee and once to have a smoke and BS with a couple other bikers, I found myself riding alongside ariver I had always meant to fish but never have. I put the kayak in at a highway bridge, parked the bike in a small public lot that belongs to a beach on the lake that empties into the river, and floated down-river a couple of miles. As I was casting the fly rod, soaking up the sun, I was acutely aware that since my cancer diagnosis and the uncertainty that comes with that, there will NOT be an endless supply of such days to come.

I thought about Steve and how he's in the fight, struggling to get to WORK in the shop, and how I TOTALLY BLEW OFF a desk-full of work I need to do in my own shop, and I didn't feel guilty in the least. I've always put work first. I've worked a lot of Sundays, and late nights, worked when others fished or played golf, and often as not used my "free" time on projects around the house or in my own shop. Today I was just soaking up the day, enjoying being alive in the sunshine, on the water, casting a fly rod. I caught a handful of fish, tossed em all back, including 3 legal bass. Today wasn't about CATCHING, it was about fishing, and sunshine and green seas of lily pads and blue herons standing on one leg as I drifted past. it was aout riding my bike, towing my kayak to and from a fishing hole, listening to the V-twin burble through the twisties on an ancient two lane...

I'm not exactly HAPPY to have cancer, but on a day when I feel good and it's nice out, cancer sure makes me appreciate how great it can be just to be alive.

Hope yer day was decent Steve. Hang in there buddy.

[kimwcook]

You got that right.

[mikld]

Sometimes a cancer diagnosis can be completely devastating. And sometimes it can be like a smack in the face yelling "Wake up, it ain't over yet!". I am now amazed at how clean the air can be in southern Oregon. I discovered just how soothing a cat purring on my lap can be. Wild poppys are really bright orange/yellow and attract funny fat bees by the dozen. Sometimes 24 hours isn't enough for one day. And most of all I've come to appreciate that woman that has put up with me for the last 25 years, God Bless her!

Well, it ain't over yet and I got one more surgery and then I'll decide what comes next. I've always wanted to catch a Chetco River salmon...

[Rube Burrows]

Its something that many of us take for granted on so many days. I love being out in the woods doing what I love to do. I often stop and think about those wonderful days. Yeah, during the week sometimes I forget and get all worked up over something going wrong in the day to day work life or something.

We should be thankful of many of the things we take for granted every day.


Glad you had a good day on the water.

[gamekeeper]

Yes sir, life is for living and it's our job to enjoy as much of it as we can.
Your post is inspiring and made me again realise that I have to get on and find something good in each and every day.

Good luck to you sir.

[rjohns94]

well said!! prayers going out to all in that struggle.

[Pitchy]

well said!! prayers going out to all in that struggle.

+1

[timkelley]

Just got one of those Cancer diagnoses last month. They are still trying to figure out just 'what kind' it is so they can suggest how to fight it.

Sure is hard to get my head around the whole thing.

[adirondakjack]

Just got one of those Cancer diagnoses last month. They are still trying to figure out just 'what kind' it is so they can suggest how to fight it.

Sure is hard to get my head around the whole thing.

Yer in the really hard stage. It's impossible to get yer head wrapped atround the situation when ya don't KNOW where yer at. I spent 5 weeks from initial finding of the tumor in march to surgery/ pathology in april, where the doc could tell me where I was at. It sucked big time. Once I knew the name of the demon and could call him out, so to speak, it is somewhat easier, knowing the potential range of outcomes, associated stats, etc. I go back for a follow-up scope job to see if the tumor is growing back after surgey in a couple of weeks. That bit of info will help even more narrow down the picture, (good or bad).

Hang in there.

[pokey]

amazing how many of "us" have or have had brushes
with the big "C", i wonder if this is a typical percentage?

here's hoping every one of you in the battle fairs as well as possible.

[adirondakjack]

amazing how many of "us" have or have had brushes
with the big "C", i wonder if this is a typical percentage?

here's hoping every one of you in the battle fairs as well as possible.

I suspect we're an aging lot, and yeah, the percentages grow as we age. A few months ago I didn't give cancer (aside from possibly skin cancer, owing to my Irish genetics and having lived in the tropics where Irishmen ain't supposed to be) much thought. Nobody on my dad's side had any, and Mom didn't have any (though she lost three sisters to cancer, female type). I figured myself for a heart attack or stroke eventually, but cancer, nah! Turns out my ticker and cholesterol are GREAT (even with lousy diet and 3+ decades of smoking). But shazaam, in a single partial sentance, my urologist changed my life.

It is what it is. WE ALL DIE. I figure to be around a while yet, have a lotta good days, maybe have limited recurrences, but I ain't taking on any long term debt..... Having a little CLEARER picture of what could be makes one more likely (to quote Shawshank Redemption, a fine movie) get busy livin, or get busy dyin", which are really the only choices we EVER have. I choose to LIVE while I'm alive. I expect to be dead a long time, maybe forever

[earlmck]

Went out to visit my friend Doc today. He got the Big C diagnosis a little over 2 years ago (pancreatic). So we made a "farewell" motorcycle ride summer before last, spent 3 days riding lots of twisty roads around the town of John Day (Oregon). Had another one last summer; twisty neat roads around Fossil. This summer we'll either go back to John Day or maybe on over to Enterprise. Doc can't walk 50 yards without pooping out but he can do a couple of hours on a motorcycle, take a nap, and do another good hour or so. We've got these 650 dual-sports which open up lots of ridin' possibilities.

Today we just rode around through the sagebrush, over some hills and valleys, looked at some junipers I'll be cutting for him the next couple of months. Checked places where he cleared some brush/small junipers with a tractor last year to see what grass was coming back (quite a lot of it). He told me "I've done more good things in the 2 years since I got diagnosed with cancer than I did in the previous 10". I think he's a little off in his figures, but you get the idea. Does seem this "C" thing sure stimulates a feller to focus on life.

I know we're all sending good thoughts your way, all you levergunners tussling with Big C. I have enormous admiration for the grit and courage being showed. Wow!

[1894]

amazing how many of "us" have or have had brushes
with the big "C", i wonder if this is a typical percentage?

here's hoping every one of you in the battle fairs as well as possible.

My awesome wife and I will have been together for 25 years on June 22 ,( married 17 years ) that also means that come Christmas time this year will also be the 1/4 century aniversary of my diagnosis of stage 4 cancer.

In my humble opinion , the doctors can do a lot , but without a delibrate positive mental mind set in the patient ( trust me after the first couple times of poison for a week straight and not being able to eat for a week and a half or so, it takes a lot to keep forcing out those negative thoughts ) Those that choose to do so seem to do a lot better than those that don't.

[Hobie]

You guys are a real inspiration...

[mikld]

The first thing to remember if you get "the" diagnosis; it ain't a death sentence!. Then, one day at a time, determine it's weaknesses and attack them (I had a Redical Neck Disection and 30 Radiation Treatments, so far). I just wake up each morning, thank God for the day, and do what I gotta do. When day is over I lay in bed, thank God for the day, and rest up to do it again tomorrow. A few more weeks of this and I'll be fine, God willing, and I'll start looking for that 40 + lb. salmon...

[Booger Bill]

At this moment my stepdaughter is with her father in what is probley his very last days of cancer. He is 7 years younger than me, I am 70. Four years ago I was given two months if I didnt get my entire nose removed. I have a fake nose. Thinking about it, the only things I really would have changed is just to do a lot more of what I did do. That for me was/is quad rideing, motorcycle rideing, messing with guns, flying etc. I was also a work-aholic. I never turned down overtime and am sure I averaged 65 hours a week for 35 years. Had I spent wisely I am quite sure I could have worked a lot less ot and done more of what I did like to do. I also was a big time gambler. That alone no doubt kept me working the ot. I still love it, I just cant afford to do it.
I dont know what the stats are with cancer, seems I read 30% of us die because of it. Well if cancer dont get cha, a heart attack or alzheimers will. No one gets out alive! The thing is to live a Godly, honerable life and beyound that just try to do more of what we have always liked.