Please Have A Thought About My Drinking....

Blaine · Post by **Blaine** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 11:42 am

I quit for about 10 years or so.....Most of the time I can enjoy a couple, and walk away. Lately, been overdoing it.....time to quit again, I'd say.....

Mescalero · Post by **Mescalero** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 11:52 am

Women make us do strange things.

Blaine · Post by **Blaine** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 12:10 pm

Mescalero wrote:Women make us do strange things.

It's all my bad.....I can hang out and be annoying on Sweet Tea.....No one's fault but mine......I'd "stuff" on Thor with all this, but, he doesn't care what I do

This has been good for me, and I appreciate the support.....

Mescalero · Post by **Mescalero** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 12:22 pm

My life got a lot better when I figured out I did not get to go to bed with every woman I met.
I would have never gone to work

Blaine · Post by **Blaine** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 12:24 pm

Mescalero wrote:My life got a lot better when I figured out I did not get to go to bed with every woman I met.
I would have never gone to work

Oy Vey....

Mescalero · Post by **Mescalero** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 12:27 pm

Oy Vey indeed!

2ndovc · Post by **2ndovc** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 3:24 pm

Oy, oy vey!

Thoughts are with ya Bro!

jb

C. Cash · Post by **C. Cash** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 3:24 pm

Nip it in the bud Brother. Will send prayer.

Blaine · Post by **Blaine** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 3:30 pm

C. Cash wrote:Nip it in the bud Brother. Will send prayer.

Interesting choice of words......

Seriously, thanks for the prayer.....

C. Cash · Post by **C. Cash** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 4:13 pm

Yeah that might not have been too good in retrospect.

Borregos · Post by **Borregos** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 4:17 pm

KirkD wrote:
BlaineG wrote:Yup, and Yup on all accounts.....I better start getting out and doing stuff instead of sitting around and then heading out to the Inn......I appreciate all the support, and sorry I "Pelosied" all over the forum last night....
'Doing stuff instead of sitting around' is a good plan, Blaine. Keep heading in that direction. We all need support and encouragement from time to time.

KirkD is absolutely right.

Mescalero · Post by **Mescalero** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 4:22 pm

Leave it to Blaine..... I would never have made a connection.

tman · Post by **tman** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 6:40 pm

There are 2 kinds of people, my friend, Those who drink, and those who don't drink. If you are gonna drink, you are ocassionally gonna have BAD nites. It goes with the territory, If you can't handle a bad nite, and gonna have a guilt trip over it, QUIT!. Good luck to u, whichever path you choose.

Blaine · Post by **Blaine** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 6:56 pm

tman wrote:There are 2 kinds of people, my friend, Those who drink, and those who don't drink. If you are gonna drink, you are ocassionally gonna have BAD nites. It goes with the territory, If you can't handle a bad nite, and gonna have a guilt trip over it, QUIT!. Good luck to u, whichever path you choose.

Well said......It's the depression the next day that sucks....

Post by **Old Savage** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 10:32 pm

Everybody struggles with something.

Sixgun · Post by **Sixgun** » Thu Jun 20, 2013 10:40 pm

Old Savage wrote:Everybody struggles with something.

O.S. your right there! Just today I struggled to find a way to put 2 more guns in the safe. You gotta see this first gen Colt--pics soon.--6

Mescalero · Post by **Mescalero** » Fri Jun 21, 2013 10:57 am

Blaine,
I think you just temporarily lost your view of what your self dicipline should be.
Focus and get it back.

Blaine · Post by **Blaine** » Fri Jun 21, 2013 11:19 am

Mescalero wrote:Blaine,
I think you just temporarily lost your view of what your self dicipline should be.
Focus and get it back.

Yup......

I usually try to screw up with pizza, and hot cinnamon rolls, or, buying another rifle I don't need

I really, really appreciate everyone putting up with this. Honestly, I didn't realize I posted until "The Morning After"

Ji in Hawaii · Post by **Ji in Hawaii** » Sat Jun 22, 2013 12:10 pm

Who has woe? Who has uneasiness? Who has contentions? Who has concern? Who has wounds for no reason? Who has dullness of eyes?  Those staying a long time with the wine, those coming in to search out mixed wine.  Do not look at wine when it exhibits a red color, when it gives off its sparkle in the cup, [when] it goes with a slickness.  At its end it bites just like a serpent, and it secretes poison just like a viper.  Your own eyes will see strange things, and your own heart will speak perverse things.  And you will certainly become like one lying down in the heart of the sea, even like one lying down at the top of a mast.  “They have struck me, but I did not become sick; they have smitten me, but I did not know it. When shall I wake up? I shall seek it yet some more.”
Proverbs 23:29-35

Streetstar · Post by **Streetstar** » Sun Jun 23, 2013 12:17 am

BlaineG wrote:
I really, really appreciate everyone putting up with this. Honestly, I didn't realize I posted until "The Morning After"

If only there was a culinary "morning after" pill ! That would have more value to society than the other of the same name ---------

alas, self control can be an elusive animal to pin down at times ------ for me , I rarely hit the sweet shoppe, but a handful of late afternoon beers while I am mowing the grass or something can make me reach for the phonebook to call in a pizza out of sheer laziness -- when I have otherwise good food in the fridge that just needs a little prep time------
I have a sweet wife, but she is no help -- her mom did not bless her with any talent in the kitchen and she is more than happy to pawn off the cooking, or lack thereof , on me

Mescalero · Post by **Mescalero** » Sun Jun 23, 2013 2:56 am

Yeah,
Anybody who has ever eaten at my house will attest that I did not take up with the girlfriend for her culinary skills.

Nath · Post by **Nath** » Sun Jun 23, 2013 3:02 am

Blain my biker friend.

Being honest I have not read all the comments.

My heart and strength is here for you though.

Your a good man, we all get fed up.

Thinking about you. Pray.

Nath.

piller · Post by **piller** » Sun Jun 23, 2013 8:47 am

Blaine, you have a support group here. Use it. If alcohol does not like you, even if you like it, then walk away. Should you need help, just call out and you will get the help from all of your friends here. Prayers for strength for you to turn around and walk away sent.

ColColt · Post by **ColColt** » Sun Jun 23, 2013 10:21 am

I wasn't going to respond to this, just read but after awhile it began to bring back unpleasant memories. I knew many years ago...maybe 30 or so, that I had a problem but kept denying it. I recall hardly being able to wait to get home from work so I could have a beer/whiskey and coke, or whatever. Problem was, it went on all evening. I couldn't have just one beer it turned into a six pack. I got to the point I'd have a shot of Early Times in the morning before work. I was 30 years old.

I began having terrible dreams. I always kept a 45 Colt by the bedside out of habit. One night I had a dream but thought it was real. In whatever state I was in I woke to the gnawing of a horrific looking doll with razor sharp teeth trying to get at my arm. I turned, grabbed the pistol and shot a hole through my bed. Of course I still don't know if it was a dream or if I had awoken and though that's what I saw. Another instance late at night after going to bed I saw things coming out of an outlet across the room or I'd have recurring dreams about someone from an old west setting trying to kill me. I got shot in the side from a blast from a shotgun and woke up with a pain in my side and a hand size red mark!

Alcohol will make you do things you'd never dream you'd do. Without elaborating and going into detail, I knew I was in trouble. It was no longer the one beer with a pizza or hamburger, it was an intent on trying to wipe out reality. I'd listen to old sad songs, sit on the couch and drink. Long story short it was hard quitting but I did it for sanity's sake. My last drink was in 1986 and I have to say I'd love a beer now and then or a glass of wine with a meal but, I know better. One could turn into six so, I don't even keep anything of an alcohol nature in the house and I avoid the beer isle at the grocery store...I just walk by on the other side and don't look.

What hacks me off is they glorify alcohol on TV but you darn well better not have a cigarette commercial or even display a pack of Winstons on a billboard. Funny, I've never seen anyone fire up a Camel and go down the interstate to just wipe out an entire generation of a family due to impairment. TV never shows the broken homes, abused kids and spouses, nor the college coed that got raped all due to someone having a little too much to drink. I've seen fights, shootings and all manner of mayhem because of alcohol and today I hate it as much as I once loved it.

Blaine · Post by **Blaine** » Sun Jun 23, 2013 10:37 am

ColColt wrote:I wasn't going to respond to this, just read but after awhile it began to bring back unpleasant memories. I knew many years ago...maybe 30 or so, that I had a problem but kept denying it. I recall hardly being able to wait to get home from work so I could have a beer/whiskey and coke, or whatever. Problem was, it went on all evening. I couldn't have just one beer it turned into a six pack. I got to the point I'd have a shot of Early Times in the morning before work. I was 30 years old.

I began having terrible dreams. I always kept a 45 Colt by the bedside out of habit. One night I had a dream but thought it was real. In whatever state I was in I woke to the gnawing of a horrific looking doll with razor sharp teeth trying to get at my arm. I turned, grabbed the pistol and shot a hole through my bed. Of course I still don't know if it was a dream or if I had awoken and though that's what I saw. Another instance late at night after going to bed I saw things coming out of an outlet across the room or I'd have recurring dreams about someone from an old west setting trying to kill me. I got shot in the side from a blast from a shotgun and woke up with a pain in my side and a hand size red mark!

Alcohol will make you do things you'd never dream you'd do. Without elaborating and going into detail, I knew I was in trouble. It was no longer the one beer with a pizza or hamburger, it was an intent on trying to wipe out reality. I'd listen to old sad songs, sit on the couch and drink. Long story short it was hard quitting but I did it for sanity's sake. My last drink was in 1986 and I have to say I'd love a beer now and then or a glass of wine with a meal but, I know better. One could turn into six so, I don't even keep anything of an alcohol nature in the house and I avoid the beer isle at the grocery store...I just walk by on the other side and don't look.

What hacks me off is they glorify alcohol on TV but you darn well better not have a cigarette commercial or even display a pack of Winstons on a billboard. Funny, I've never seen anyone fire up a Camel and go down the interstate to just wipe out an entire generation of a family due to impairment. TV never shows the broken homes, abused kids and spouses, nor the college coed that got raped all due to someone having a little too much to drink. I've seen fights, shootings and all manner of mayhem because of alcohol and today I hate it as much as I once loved it.

We're all here for you, too.....

I kept it in check for about 10 years after I quit being a drunk. Didn't drink at all for quite awhile, and then managed to have a couple every month or so....It slipped away from me again.....I really appreciate a place to talk about it.....

mikld · Post by **mikld** » Sun Jun 23, 2013 11:04 am

Well, a lot of your on line friends have posted and tried to bolster your spirits. Some are praying for you. Now forget the discipline, self control, and will power BS and do something. It's ok to cry in your beer and have a pity party once in a while, but the thing to do now is do something about it. If not, it will happen again. If you're blackout drinking ("I didn't realize I posted until the morning after) you've reached the point of taking action, if not just park your bike, and crawl into a corner with a bottle and drink yourself to death.

I fought asking for help for a couple years thinking I was just weak, that a real man can handle this stuff alone. Baloney! Real men go to AA. It takes real courage to admit "I need help, I can't do it alone". (Everyone here admits our LEO brothers are some of the toughest around, but I've met a lot in AA).

In your last post you mentioned "I was a drunk", which is great you admit it, but you are never cured of alcoholism, you just keep it at bay; learn to live with it. A periodic drunk is still a drunk! The place to learn and to get the tools is AA.

For the AA members here; I an not "promoting", just explaining, one drunk to another the best course of action for my brother in his cups...

http://www.simeetings.com/LA/WA/SpanawayMtgs.html if you got the cojonies...

Blaine · Post by **Blaine** » Sun Jun 23, 2013 11:30 am

Pity Party?

Just talking to my Buds....The 20 years I was in the Army, and I was just an average drinker for that day and age. I can talk about this just like I can about a new gun, or diabetes, or, being chubby.....I ain't ashamed of me

I was never one to promote achievement through shame.....Maybe some need that. A good man don't need to hit bottom before starting up again.....It's a new week, and I'm climbing that ladder again.....

Mescalero · Post by **Mescalero** » Sun Jun 23, 2013 11:39 am

Hang in there Pard

Blaine · Post by **Blaine** » Sun Jun 23, 2013 11:42 am

Mescalero wrote:Hang in there Pard

I'm doing real good....Spent some time on the mountain last night....

Mescalero · Post by **Mescalero** » Sun Jun 23, 2013 12:31 pm

Yeah,
You're getting your groove back.

mikld · Post by **mikld** » Mon Jun 24, 2013 9:59 am

BlaineG wrote:Pity Party? Just talking to my Buds....The 20 years I was in the Army, and I was just an average drinker for that day and age. I can talk about this just like I can about a new gun, or diabetes, or, being chubby.....I ain't ashamed of me I was never one to promote achievement through shame.....Maybe some need that. A good man don't need to hit bottom before starting up again.....It's a new week, and I'm climbing that ladder again.....

OK, but what has changed? Still the same old Blain. That old "rock bottom" stuff is BS. I was living in my PU so my bottom was pretty low, but I know some alcoholics (yep, periodic blackout drunks) that had a pretty high bottom, one who drank champagne outta crystal glasses, passed out in her kitchen still wearing her diamonds, but she was still a drunk that needed help. So, ferget the "hit bottom" chit.

There ain't no shame in being an alkie. We're just a bit different, physical and mentally, and have a bit of difficulty handling a certain chemical in our bodies. Are you ashamed of diabetes? That's just a different physical condition where your body doesn't handle a substance well.

My last word to you is quit justifying your behavior ("just talking to my Buds", but in a blackout) and a good man would at least research/look at his behavior, and act...

I don't climb a ladder of life, I trudge the "Road to Happy Destiny"...

piller · Post by **piller** » Mon Jun 24, 2013 11:06 am

It sounds as if mikld has been there and done that. Blaine, don't get mad at anyone who is telling it to you straight. We all, and I do mean all, have done things that we needed to be told in strong terms to stop. It isn't easy to take it, but like some medicine, we are better off if we do. I have not been there, so I can't fully understand. I am here for support, and will be there for you anytime. However, I won't stop anyone who has been there and done that from telling it to you straight. If you want my phone, just ask. I will listen if you need to talk.

Blaine · Post by **Blaine** » Mon Jun 24, 2013 11:49 am

piller wrote:It sounds as if mikld has been there and done that. Blaine, don't get mad at anyone who is telling it to you straight. We all, and I do mean all, have done things that we needed to be told in strong terms to stop. It isn't easy to take it, but like some medicine, we are better off if we do. I have not been there, so I can't fully understand. I am here for support, and will be there for you anytime. However, I won't stop anyone who has been there and done that from telling it to you straight. If you want my phone, just ask. I will listen if you need to talk.

I'm not getting mad...really..honestly

..mikld is just about correct, but, my mind/soul just doesn't work that way...we are all different....I'm not justifying anything, but, I'm just not the type to self flagellate...We are all different. No better, or, no worse....just different

AA would say I'm in denial....I'd say I'm dealing with it in my own way, with help from friends, and God....Thanks again to all here who care about me.....

(Maybe another Brother Rifleman will recognize their self, and give sobriety a chance..)

Mescalero · Post by **Mescalero** » Mon Jun 24, 2013 12:00 pm

Hold your ground buddy,
people should not be so pretentious as to tell you what you have to feel.

Blaine · Post by **Blaine** » Mon Jun 24, 2013 12:11 pm

Mescalero wrote:Hold your ground buddy,
people should not be so pretentious as to tell you what you have to feel.

Oy, Vey Brother Owl.....they have only the best in mind for me....

Mescalero · Post by **Mescalero** » Mon Jun 24, 2013 12:20 pm

Yes I am sure,but thier own experience does not translate to your feelings.
People make that mistake all the time, each of us is going to react differently to any given situation.

Blaine · Post by **Blaine** » Mon Jun 24, 2013 12:24 pm

Mescalero wrote:Yes I am sure,but thier own experience does not translate to your feelings.
People make that mistake all the time, each of us is going to react differently to any given situation.

I pay attention to all advise..about anything...Then I carefully mull it over, and pick the wrong way to do it

Mescalero · Post by **Mescalero** » Mon Jun 24, 2013 12:30 pm

Yeah,me too,

piller · Post by **piller** » Mon Jun 24, 2013 12:31 pm

Mescalero, you are right in that it isn't the same for everyone. I think we all care or we wouldn't have posted. I look forward to the day I meet you, and Blaine, in the flesh rather than just on this site.

Blaine · Post by **Blaine** » Mon Jun 24, 2013 12:32 pm

piller wrote:Mescalero, you are right in that it isn't the same for everyone. I think we all care or we wouldn't have posted. I look forward to the day I meet you, and Blaine, in the flesh rather than just on this site.

Not this year, but, I'd really like to go shoot a hog with you guys someday....

Blaine · Post by **Blaine** » Mon Jun 24, 2013 1:01 pm

I posted this as a PM, but, perhaps I should keep such things transparent.....

"I apologize if I reacted harshly....I know you are trying to help, and you did....Alcohol has been at the root of every bad decision I ever made, yet somehow, I functioned through it all, and have ended up in high cotton....I'm a very strong person, from a very strong willed family, and I will lick this again for the 4th or 5th time......Believe it or not, I don't DT, or have withdrawals when I quit....I just do, and make a decision not to drink again. With me, (and it's true this time as well) drinking every day/too much makes me horribly depressed the next day, and guess what the cure is? This thread is what helped me break the cycle again....I truly appreciate your understanding of the problem...."

Mescalero · Post by **Mescalero** » Mon Jun 24, 2013 1:18 pm

Not to me?

Mescalero · Post by **Mescalero** » Mon Jun 24, 2013 1:24 pm

Pillar,
I would very much like that.
I was thinking of when my biological mother died, and the townspeople spent a great deal of time trying to tell me how I should "FEEL "
My brother wanted the photographs from over the years, as the PR I saw to that.
The rest I gave to her caregiver, I had no need or use for it.
What got me through is:
I am a big fan of The Dali Lama.
His book, Ethics for the New Milenium; really helped.
I recommend it to all.
The guy is just an amazing homo sapien.

Blaine · Post by **Blaine** » Mon Jun 24, 2013 1:58 pm

Mescalero wrote:Not to me?

I sent a smoke signal

Mescalero · Post by **Mescalero** » Mon Jun 24, 2013 2:27 pm

Could not read it through the smoke from the Prescott fire.

tman · Post by **tman** » Mon Jun 24, 2013 6:47 pm

Just a few tips, I stopped drinking and driving years ago, when the DUI law was changed to be a revenue generator. I walk to the bars and clubs and leave the smoke wagon at home. Don't hit on your buddys wife and/ or girlfriend. Don't pick a fight with 20 year old Hells Angels.

Blaine · Post by **Blaine** » Mon Jun 24, 2013 7:00 pm

tman wrote:Just a few tips, I stopped drinking and driving years ago, when the DUI law was changed to be a revenue generator. I walk to the bars and clubs and leave the smoke wagon at home. Don't hit on your buddys wife and/ or girlfriend. Don't pick a fight with 20 year old Hells Angels.

A first time DWI will prolly run you upwards of 30,000 bucks after you pay the extra insurance...BTW, I've NEVER DWIed.....That kept me from misbehaving for a very long time. Now, they opened up a nice Inn within a 10 min. walk.....That Devil be waving the red flag at me....

Mescalero · Post by **Mescalero** » Mon Jun 24, 2013 7:07 pm

Back in the day there was a topless bar a 10 min. walk from my house.

Blaine · Post by **Blaine** » Mon Jun 24, 2013 7:10 pm

Mescalero wrote:Back in the day there was a topless bar a 10 min. walk from my house.

The bugs and rain didn't bother business?

Mescalero · Post by **Mescalero** » Mon Jun 24, 2013 8:10 pm