Of Squirrels, Dogs, and Men

[Ysabel Kid]

Of Squirrels, Dogs, and Men
By Mike Rhinehart · July 12, 2023
https://patriotpost.us/articles/98762-o ... 2023-07-12

There exists in virtually all ethical hunters I have been acquainted with a dichotomy in the relationship between the quarry pursued and a love for the same creature. It is no secret that the most ardent and successful conservationists of game animals are hunters.

While some of the more successful groups like Ducks Unlimited, Quail Unlimited, and Pheasants Forever are, in my opinion, top-heavy in salary of the leadership, perhaps that is just the norm with most successful fundraising organizations. The impact they have made in conservation of land, habitat, and breeding grounds, however, is undeniable.

Which brings us to the squirrel. There is no “Squirrel Unlimited,” because these critters thrive without any help from us.

So it was during one of our many neighborhood get-togethers a few years ago that the subject of the local squirrel population came up. “Man, have you ever seen so many squirrels in the neighborhood?” The general consensus was no, we had not.
Being of a somewhat analytical mind on occasion, I decided to do some Saturday research. The notion was to count not only the number of squirrels on my place but also the dispersion of gray vs. fox squirrels, as well as any other pertinent information that could be gained. The tally of the day was 28 squirrels, predominately fox squirrels, with a balance of gray and surprisingly about a half-dozen that could have been fox or gray but had pure white tails. White tails?

I’m not a genetics expert, but this development speaks to me beyond “kissing cousins.”

Clearly, as everyone else was reporting, we were overpopulated.

So we launched the plans for “Squirrel Fest.” The idea sprang from a surprising source in the neighborhood — the wife of the retired president of one of the larger insurance companies in America. She had hosted many elegant dinners for us and was a most gracious host. She confessed though that growing up on a farm, she knew her way around wild game preparation and indeed had a fabulous “Squirrel Helper” recipe.

Now, most hunters and conservationists know the story of the Kaibab deer population. It became known as what the military sometimes euphemistically calls “the wrong execution of the right idea.” In the 1920s, conservationists, in an effort to increase the deer population in the Grand Canyon National Game Preserve, engaged in aggressive predator control programs that very quickly resulted in the deer population exploding. Mission accomplished, right? No. The massive deer herd over-browsed the entire range, which eventually, and rather quickly, created ecological damage, a lack of subsistence for the herd, and soon mass starvation and a population collapse.

This errant scenario has been repeated over the years by National Park and federal land managers, though in the last few decades they have gotten a little smarter about managing predators and prey.

Anyway, we were determined not to implement the “wrong execution” with our squirrel population. As aggravating and destructive as they can be, their antics provide endless entertainment for me and the dogs. Not just hunting dogs, but it seems all dogs have a squirrel fixation.

When we began the judicious harvesting of this overpopulation, I employed my two Gordon Setters to help locate and retrieve them. With bird hunting season over but squirrel still fair game, this activity only heightened their interest in the little furry beasts. No white tail squirrels were to be found; the Eagles and other raptors working along the river had already taken them. There is that genetic selection thing again … imagine being a jungle warrior and being forced to wear a white uniform.

Ultimately, “Squirrel Fest 2015” was a tremendous success both in culinary delight as well as good company and good laughs. No, it doesn’t taste like chicken, but properly prepared as it was it can be quite tasty.

Now, anyone who has a bird feeder in their yard or outside a kitchen window knows the constant battle of keeping squirrels out of the seed. Several successful “anti-squirrel” feeders are available, and most work, but they don’t stop the squirrels from trying. As observed earlier, most dogs have a keen interest in squirrels, but hunting breeds, given a taste of the hunt, develop a hyper-interest partially due to the fact that squirrels are visibly active year-round and the game birds the dogs pursue are only available for a limited time.

I had to laugh out loud this morning when I opened social media and found a post from a fellow hunting dog enthusiast depicting a bloody forearm with the explanation that he had been sitting in his recliner enjoying the morning news and coffee with his faithful and talented hunting dog in his lap when a squirrel suddenly appeared at the bird feeder outside the window. Milliseconds later, the dog launched, digging back claws into his forearm for purchase.

I laughed out of understanding, as I bear what appear to be permanent scars on both right and left forearms from Gordon Setter “Maggie” launching herself out of my lap to foil the attempts of a squirrel at our kitchen window feeder. There is the added psychological damage of scalding hot coffee in my lap on one occasion.

Now, I’m not suggesting that these battle scars we bear are anything remotely approaching, say, Hill 142 at Belleau Wood or the battle of Saint-Mere-Eglise or any number of noteworthy and historic battles fought by our courageous military Patriots. But maybe we deserve a little something.

Maybe just a little campaign ribbon we can wear on our hunting vests to identify ourselves as combatants in the never-ending, canine-propelled squirrel vs. bird feeder wars!

[Ysabel Kid]

This one had me almost rolling off my chair laughing. Mrs. YK likes having bird feeders in our woods that she can see from the back deck and kitchen. I have them at the edge, but the squirrels attack them relentlessly. And our pair of miniature dachshunds (brother and sister), hate the squirrels with a passion. You wouldn't think that dogs with four-inch or so legs could move so fast, but when they see a squirrel, it's game on! Even the female, who looks more like a plump bratwurst than a weiner dog, accelerates to near light speed to chase the ever-elusive tree rats.

Anyway, enjoy!

[GunnyMack]

This brings back so many fun memories! One time hunting squirrels a buddy of mine shot one , long poke with a shotgun but it fell from the branch, ran to a stone row into a hole. We could see its tail and he reached in to grab it- the squirrel twisted itself around and sunk all 4 incisiors into my buddies thumb! It removed a rather large hunk of thumb whilst he was flailing aro
und cussing a blue streak.
Finally the tree rat let go flying through the air and hit the ground running before we opened up a barrage of shot finally killing the squirrel. Oh how we laughed ! Sadly buddy is scarred for life but it's worth it when someone asks ' what happened to your thumb?' Oh that, it's a sq uirrel bite. The looks he gets when he says that are priceless!

The first 28 ga I bought, a Remington 1148 with full choke made a squirrel kill about 80 yards! Young and dumb on my part but when I picked it up I couldn't find any damage to it. When we cleaned our bag that day there was no shot in that squirrel anywhere but in 1 cajone ! There was a bloody #6 hole in its nut! Killed it DRT!!!

Parker likes to chase squirrels as did her momma , Winnie. Claro could care less.
However my good ol JRT did his best but they always got away but everything else was fair game to him... chipmunks, groundhogs, skunks, bears- yes he chased bears and usually treed them. He even grabbed deer! Got himself gored one night by a buck- he didn't stop attacking until I intervened and the deer ran away.

[gamekeeper]

Over here Grey Squirrels are a US import that have decimated our native Red Squirrels but they have given me years and years of hunting and even for a time provided my son with a full time job eliminating the little buggers. My killer instinct has lessened a lot as I've grown older but there's something about a stroll in the woods with a favourite firearm that keeps my old eyes peeled for the slightest movement that might just be a Squirrel....

Of course a dog that knows about Squirrels makes all the difference...

[Walt]

Nice story, Kid! Thanks

[piller]

Squirrel stories are often priceless. Thanks YK.

[2ndovc]

Our Great Dane ruled the squirrel battlefield for the ten years she was with us. The Terriers and my, not so bright, lab mix would tear off after a fox squirrel at high velocity as Lucy would trot out and let the others drive the squirrel right to her. She would snatch it from the ground, fling it into the air and let the three to four way tug-of-war begin! Since Lucy's been gone, the fox squirrel population as begun to increase it's numbers and we've had an influx of red squirrels over the last two years. The body count hasn't been as high since they lost their tactician, but the Terriers do their best to keep the enemy at the gates.

jb

[Ray]

We had hopes for my middle grandson's almost border collie. He just had that squirrel sniffing look about him what with the mutt part looking terrierish. But alas, no. The greys just eat the food out of his bowl whilst he rolls over as if he expects the offending rodents to rub his tummy.

Owning a really trained combination shed-antler sniffer/squirrel tree-er is on my bucket list.

[Bill in Oregon]

We have so many of the blamed critters in my neighborhood that, though I have two mature pecans in my yard and most of another hanging over the fence, I did not harvest a single nut last fall. Not one!

[Walt]

We don't have any Red Squirrels or Fox Squirrels here; the most common squirrels are ground squirrels aka rock squirrels, destructive little turds that they are. At higher elevations we have small red squirrels, not like the Red Squirrels occurring farther south and east; these are called Chickarees or Douglas Squirrels or pine squirrels.

I have spent a lot of time in the Jemez Mountains in central NM and also in the San Mateo Mountains 100 miles farther south. There are Tassel-Eared or Abert's Squirrels in the San Mateos but for decades I did not see any in the Jemez. About twenty years ago they began slowly appearing and have achieved a moderate population. They are not quite as large as Grays but make for good weekend hunting trips in the mountains.

[Paladin]

Excellent story, I hope the feed was as good as Mom's Squirrel shepherd pies were.

[Ysabel Kid]

Over here Grey Squirrels are a US import...

Why would anyone have ever imported such a destructive little beast?!?

[Scott Tschirhart]

I used to love hunting squirrels on the banks of the Medina river north of Castroville.

I had a Thompson Center Cherokee in .32 and that little caplock was a real squirrel killer.

[Bronco]

Why would anyone have ever imported such a destructive little beast?!?

Diversity and equity doncha know It ruins a lot of things !

[piller]

Some people import destructive species because they have rose colored glasses nostalgia about where they are from WITHOUT THE SENSE TO SEE THE DIFFERENCE IN CLIMATE AND PREDATORY SPECIES. Sorry for yelling, but I have seen near total destruction by introduced species in a few places. Granted, I have also seen things work well. Starlings and sparrows are destructive to wheat fields because of the million bird flocks which have no real predators. Tumbleweeds push out native plants and are destructive. All 3 are imports by nostalgic humans who didn't consider that some things are best left behind. Chinese ringneck pheasants are an example of a species which has done well. They are hunted heavily, and that seems to have helped prevent environmental damage. Gray squirrels were imported to England by someone who let nostalgia overcome sense.

[RIHMFIRE]

no squirrel problems in my neck of the woods.
Hawks have that under control.