Are you a practical joker?

[Ysabel Kid]

I am! Not nearly as much as I was in my ill-spent youth, when I had a lot more time on my hands, but I've always enjoyed playing a good practical joke, and even being on the receiving end of a well-thought out one.

Was exchanging e-mails recently with a friend from our high school days. We both turn 50 this year - my how time flies. Reminded me of one of my better practical jokes.

Way back then, we both worked at our local KFC. I had gotten into the habit of hiding in the parked cars of our friends who worked there and scaring them when they hopped into their vehicles. Yes, juvenile - but I was one! Lucky I was never shot!

Anyway, this friend of mine always locked his car, and would brag that I could never get him. So one night I see he's working, I wasn't that night, and I tried to figure out how to pull a joke on him. Then I figured it out! They were building another store in a strip mall next to the KFC, so I helped myself to a few bricks that were laying around. I jacked up each of his tires, and placed just enough bricks under each axle so that the tire was just about the ground - but hanging freely. He came out about an hour after I finished up, saw me standing in the parking lot talking with our peers (who I had told what I had done so they could enjoy the sight), and promptly razzed me that I once again had failed to get him.

Did I?

He hopped in his car, put it in gear, and spun his tires! You could see the confusion on his face. Then he tried going forward, then back again, over and over. He just couldn't understand what was happening!

We all fell on the ground laughing. He finally got out of the car, came over and admitted that I got him - then wanted to know how. I showed him the devilish work I had done, then helped him get his car back on terra firma.



Have any practical jokes you'd like to share?

[gamekeeper]

When I.worked for Wesley Richards we had a very old coffee machine and the guys from the machine shop downstairs would use it when theirs ran out, so to put them off raiding ours I put Alka Seltzer tablets in every other paper cup, as soon as one of the toolroom guys bought a foaming cup of coffee one of the gunsmiths would dive in and buy a normal non foaming coffee, this went on for weeks and the toolroom guys never found out what was wrong.

[2571]

We routinely pranked the sgts on our platoon when I was a cop working midnights.

Back before cars had computer controlled heater switches, we would break into his parked car at the donut shop and carefully put paper punch dots in his dashboard blower, turning the control to 'Hi". When he would start up the car, it would 'snow' from hundreds of dots emerging from the dashboard.

Really juvenile for grown men charged with serving & protecting the city at sleep.

[Mescalero]

Had several offices over the years,did different things in the offices at while maintaining the same job description.
Found that out after retiring and all the people they hired to replace me.
Well, one of the upstairs had a window that faced an empty field; and there was homeless guy who lived out there.
He was a little bit off and used to do rifle drill with a stick rifle, the hoser thought it was funny to watch him with binoculars.
One day I walked in the office, and the hoser said good morning, I looked at him and all around his eyes was black, he looked like a racoon!
GB was in the backround franticlly waving his hands, so I said nothing.
The hoser left, seems GB had smeared his wife's eye shadow on the hosers eyepieces and wiped it on his eyes when he watched the homeless guy.
HR called me 15 minutes later raising cane!

[vancelw]

In the break room, take black electric tape and tape the handle of the sink sprayer in the "on" position. Aim it to the front.

Sit and wait..... And hope whoever gets wet has a sense of humor and leaves it for the next person.
If not, make sure you have an extra hose available....to replace the one the last guy cut off and threw out the window...

[draperjojo]

I'm (was) one of the worst offenders. When a co-worker had me fired 20+ years ago (jokingly) and the termination papers said,"replaced by owners dog", and reason for termination,"failure to bring doughnuts per Rod". The whole office staff chuckled while I read the paper. 2 months later I cut the ignition wire of "Rods" truck and installed a time delay in such a way that it could be removed without having to retrieve a single tool. He started his truck to leave and was chatting with another co-worker and his truck turned off, he started the truck again and started to back out of his space and it stopped again. He started it again and 20 seconds later it turned off. I let him hop down the road and followed him. After the 5th or 6th restart I pulled up along side him and asked if he was out of gas. He lifted the hood and there was a dried up doughnut sitting on top of a time delay. He was pretty impressed!!

Then there was the kid working for us at the time. He left his tool box in the shop and I told him to hurry and run inside and grab it because we had a job to get to. He ran inside, grabbed the handle and almost pulled his back out. I had pulled out the tray, and unloaded the tools and shot a couple 22 caliber anchors through it into the concrete and then replaced the tools., and when he got married and wouldn't tell anyone where he was going I still got him. At 2AM on his honeymoon his truck horn went off, he knew who to blame on that one too..........oh, I could go on and on about the practical jokes I've pulled on people.

Then that one time when I loaded the vents on a friends car with baby powder. As the newly weds hopped in the car to leave for their honeymoon they waved goodby to everyone, turned the ignition on.......and disappeared in a cloud of baby powder inside the 200SX..........I had to move to another state...lol

[flatnose]

Many years ago, we had a guy at the garage that was too tight to buy doughnuts. We would buy all jelly filled, and leave them on the roof of a car till tea time. He would grab one when nobody was looking. I got tired of that lark, so I took the grease gun and injected 4 or 5 squirts of axle grease into them, and put them on the roof of a car outside in the driveway. We watched the bag for a few minutes through the crack in the door. One of the guys from the garage walks up and reaches into the bag and grabs a doughnut. He took two bites before he realised they tasted strange. If you could have seen the look on his face. We were laughing for days after.

[draperjojo]

Then there was that time a friend went on vacation....and I put his house up for sale....

Or that time we had that gorgeous girl always dressed to the nines that worked across the street from our office. All the guys would run to the window whenever she pulled up. I decided to play a joke, so I said,"I ought to grab those binoculars out of my car so we can see her better. The next day the guys asked if I had the binoculars and I said , "I will tomorrow. The next day I got there early and shoe polished up the eye pieces...and the girl pulled in across the street. One of the guys came running back to my office and asked for the binoculars...."But I haven't even had a chance to clean them yet, they're filthy" I told him. "I don't care" he said, grabbed them off my desk and ran to the window.....he watched her walk in and turned around and looked at me with those raccoon eyes and said, "MAN, she is FINE" and he walked down the hall back to the inside sales desk with the rest of the guys. I had tears in my eyes I was laughing so hard, but I'd kept a straight face when he turned to talk to me. Down the hall I hear laughter, then yelling, then rapid footsteps headed my direction......it was worth it!

[Nazgul]

One of the maintenance guys at a customer I was at regularly is OCD. His chair and table has to be in the same spot, he notices if we move it as little as 1/4". They bought him a new zero turn mower, he wouldn't start it for a week until he read the entire manual and waxed the thing several times. When he left one day, I stuffed 3 rolls of TP under the deck. Later I heard he drove it outside the main office and engaged the blades to a snow storm of tissue.

Don

[jkbrea]

On a graveyard shift one night, we had a brand new rookie that was getting a little cocky. I had him come in to the station to catch up on paper. While he was inside, a couple guys went to his patrol car and rolled down the driver side window. They placed broken glass outside the door, around the floorboard and seat. They then removed his shotgun, cell phone, laptop and gearbag all to make it look like a vehicle burg. A short time later he went to retrieve something. We watched from inside as he ran around panicking. He then came in with his head hanging to tell me his patrol car was burglarized and his shotgun stolen. As he did, the two other guys replaced everything, rolled up the window and cleaned up the glass. The rookie then walked me to the "crime scene" and was freaking out when he got to his car. He was so confused. I think he thought he was going crazy. He was humbled after that though.

[ollogger]

in school years ago, we had a teacher we didn't care for to much
one night at a game we found his VW bug & some of us guys packed that thing off & put it
on a big front porch, we never heard much bout it, but the teacher seemed nicer after that

ollogger

[horsesoldier03]

My sister had a boyfriend with an El Camino that he was very particular with. He was constantly looking out the window and checking his vehicle any time he came by to visit. One day, when I knew in advance he was coming, I rearranged the parked vehicles so he would have to park it where I would have access to the rear end and remain unseen. We thought he was gonna blow the motor up when he tried to take off and it went NO WHERE. He just kept trying and trying to go until we walked up to the side of the vehicle and told him to stop.

[gundownunder]

When I was a kid we had a minister with a decent sense of humor.
We tested it slightly the day a bunch of us picked up his Mini Moke and placed it between two veranda posts with only a couple inches of clearance front and rear.

[elmo123]

I was working the afternoon shift at the police department and I had an officer working for me that had a tendency to leave his assigned area and turn up on the other side of town. As it happens the key to my car also fit his car. As I drove down the road in the industrial area I saw his car parked in front of a business that was closed and he was in the rear looking through the dumpster so I backed up out of sight parked my car and walked back down and took his car and drove it back up by mine out of sight. I called the dispatcher on my car phone and told her to have this officer contact me at a location in his sector which was about two miles from where he was. I hid behind a building and watched him walk from behind the building to where his car had been parked. You should have seen the look on his face when he noticed his car was missing, priceless. I called him on the radio and asked him where he was and he told me he was on his way, walking. I drove down to where he was standing and let him off of the hook. Needless to say he stayed in his area from then on, most of the time. I asked him what he thought when he came out form behind the building and couldn't find his car and he replied that he knew I had it. We both had a good laugh and went back to work.

Mike

[Old Ironsights]

I plead the 5th...

Don't ask me about painting Fulminate of Mercury around the door jams of inveterate door-slammers... or how DMSO can be used off the ranch...

[Shasta]

I used to have to work with a guy back in the 80's who was not only a dim bulb, but lazy to boot. He was a real food freak and was the subject of much ribbing from the crew about his large appetite. He drove a blue 70's era Ford pickup that had F-O-R-D in big chrome letters across the front of the hood. Our service fleet had a couple trucks of the same type, so one day I did some letter swapping and replaced the "R" on the front of his truck with an "O". He couldn't figure why everyone was laughing as he drove away after work, but was pretty steamed the next day when someone pointed out that he was driving a FOOD truck!

Shasta

[MrMurphy]

In 2008, we were running operations and I was (as usual) in the turret of the Humvee with the M240. One of the very last times for me (I'd been promoted). We were running an exercise most of the week for the real thing and then we got stuck with the real op.

Driver had always been trying to 'get me' on and off for about a year. Part of the op included us being combat-locked in the vehicle (every vehicle facing various directions, and the doors locked, no getting out for quite some time while everyone stared in various directions). As the gunner, I could move around and see everything (open top turret), the guys down below could see straight forward and to the sides and that's about it.

We're all loaded up in armor, etc. It's hot. Hydrating is a big deal. What goes in must eventually, come out. With five guys, ammo cans, explosives and bags inside a Humvee, it gets pretty cramped.

Rear left seater has to relieve himself. So he gets the gatorade bottle out, everyone stares in their respective directions and lets him do his thing.

That of course, made the driver have to go. Considerably more interesting for him since the armor and steering wheel are in the way. At this point, I plotted and planned.

Our captain was ex-infantry, enlisted, and liked to walk around. He didn't 'sneak up' on anyone, but checking everyone was part of his job and he did his job. I turn in the turret (keeping the gun pointed the correct way) like I'm looking to the left/rear. Everyone inside can see my feet/legs turn and guess what I'm doing. I eyeball down through the hatch and see the driver's finally got everything unbuttoned, lined up and ready to do the deed. Right around as we hear him start to go, I sag against the side of the turret ring as if I'm looking straight down, then yell down into the hatch " GOOD MORNING SIR!"


Driver was so startled he very nearly sprayed all over the dashboard, steering wheel, and his armor...... And since Humvee rear view mirrors never stay in place, he couldn't see to the rear so he was freaking out....

Rear seater realized the driver'd been had and started laughing. Vehicle commander (SSgt) laughed so hard he just about cried. Especially when I confessed I might have been premature in announcing the captain's arrival.......

Yeah, payback can be sweet.

[Sixgun]

There's millions of them.
While your bud is in the bar getting hammered, we are outside spray painting his windshield black....at nighttime.

Then I remember one guy who was drunk and fell asleep on the beach. We took indelible magic markers and drew an entire basketball uniform on him.

Someone is always relieving himself in a beer bottle and switching it with another guys good beer while he lights up a smoke.

At work someone is always putting filthy forklift grease on the ear piece of the shipping office phone.

And speaking of forklifts, it's common practice to grease up the hydraulic knobs of your coworkers forklift while he is in the potty room reading the paper.

Oh!, the paper. We will take someone's newspaper and switch the front page of today's newspaper with a paper that's like two weeks old.

In hunting camp, it's fun to stick a small stone (about 1/8" in dia) in your buddies boot. This way he won't notice it until he is out walking and will have to stop, untie everything ( usually when it's 10 degrees ) and dump out the stone and put a bandaid on the blister that formed.

Then there's the crushed crackers in your bud's sleeping bag.

Last year at the state champs we and "the Gunny" put a half dozen small rocks under this one guy's sleeping bag. This guy tended to go to bed a little alcoholed up and did not notice it until about 3 am, after getting all knotted up in his shoulders.

Yea, forgot about this one----we spray painted this one guys headlights on his pickup truck black.

Ain't life fun?-----6

[OldWin]

Oh the stories.......

When my buddies and I were about in junior high we decided we were way too cool to trick or treat. We still wanted free candy so I told my pals not to worry I'd get em some. I went and got some of my dads old hunting clothes, put em on and stuffed leaves in the cuffs and waist. I pit a burlap bag over my head so I could just see a bit and slouched up against the lamp post while my pals hid and watched. About an hour later, two kids come down the street and one says, "Hey, there's one", and looks around. They came over and one bends down and grabs me by the front of the shirt. I roared and grabbed him back. I'll never forget the terror in their faces and the screams.
We got a pillowcase of candy.

Halloween a few years later we were driving age and I was out with the Old Man's truck. One of my friends was along, he was a couple years younger. You know the one, he's the butt of a lot of jokes. He was turned around looking out the back window when I saw a stuffed scarecrow laying in the street. It was quite dark and at the last second I screamed and swerved the truck and ran over the dummy. The kid says "what was that?". I screamed "I hit a kid, he came outta nowhere!" Of course, when he looks back he sees the "body" in the street. He looked sick and hollers that we gotta stop. I floored the truck and said no way man, I ain't going to jail. He was really freaked and I told him if he "ratted" I'd kill him. I kept him on the line with threats and fear for about two hours. He was crying he was so scared.
Good times.

[Gobblerforge]

I no longer feed the evil Karma Gods first. Escalation and retaliation are inevitable and as J said in Men In Black, "You don't start nothing, there won't be nothing."
Gobbler

[Rusty]

A friend of mine had a dollar bill changer in the break room where he worked. They found out that the changer would not be fooled by a plain piece of paper, but if you put a plain piece of paper under a dollar bill it would take both the paper and the bill, and give you your change for your dollar bill. They then put every dollar they had into the machine with a piece of paper until the machine ran out of change. The fun came when the guy came to service the machines. When he pulled out all that white paper he almost had a cow until he finished his count.

The best one I ever heard was a bunch of school kids that turned 3 goats loose in their school after it had been closed for the day. They spray painted numbers on the sides of the goats. Numbered them 1,3, and 4. The police looked for goat #2 for hours.

[piller]

Our High School Biology Teacher had a human skeleton in a metal locker. The skeleton could be pulled out on the track that it hung from, and the students could see it from all sides. One year, a couple of students, my older brother Stephen and his friend Carleton, were working for the maintenance crew of the school district. They were assigned to help with the stripping of the floors and waxing them, and painting trash cans and desks. When the new school year started, Mr. Gilliland opened up the skeleton for his first class and the students could be heard laughing all through the building. The skeleton was wearing an old ball cap, sun glasses, Mr. Gilliland's spare lab coat, a pair of old shoes, and had a cigar clamped in his teeth. Mr. Gilliland had to take 20 minutes in order to be able to conduct the class without cracking up.

[Griff]

2571, "glitter" is so much more creative... & harder to remove! Although we reserved that one for a suspected "alternate life-styler". Then there was the bumper sticker that read, "Dial 911 - S__t Happens"... A perennial favorite was to remove the "B " & "R" from the "In &" Out _urge_" bumper stickers... And for the guy that always took the keys to the one Impala w/the hi-perf 350 engine... well, it was downright criminal! As shift sgt I finally had to step in before violence erupted

Then there was the coach who always made a fuss about street shoes on HIS gym floor. He drove a "bug-eye" Sprite... We took the center posts from the double doors leading to the basketball court (indoor) and set his car on center court, put the stanchions back and left. After about an hour of him & four linemen turning the car this way & that, we told the janitor how to get it out!

[Paladin]

Some great stories and I am guilty as the next but rather than tell you some things I did (probably with explosives) I will tell you one they pulled on me. I had been back in my unit for about a year when we had a C-130m jump into a small Drop Zone (DZ) it was seven seconds long in the mountains normally with high winds. It was a low drop (500 to 800 feet) and we were jumping static lines (tied to the aircraft to open the chute). I got my favorite position and was the "Door Jumper" (1st one out of the aircraft on my pass). We had made the approach and the Jump Master (JM) was going through the motions of a 130 Door exit and gave me the "Stand in the Door" I waddled forward and took up the door position, as the JM yelled “GO” he handed me the hook end of a “Static Line” (I didn't notice it was only 5 feet long) as I went out the door.
All I could think of was that it was my static line and it was no longer hooked to the aircraft cable, I did not even try to get into an exit position but was scrambling for the reserve. Then I noticed I was hanging upside down and there was a main chute deployed above my feet. I was so tangled and had so many twists it took almost until I made contact with the ground to get untangled and do a landing. I could hear lots of laughter as I untangled myself and got a few jabs about my door position for a while, but it fit my definition of a perfect practical joke. Scared someone almost to death and nobody got hurt.

[piller]

For those who have never jumped, Paladin did all that in about 45 seconds. I timed it once from door to popping the release on my right shoulder, and it was 45 seconds. I did have someone run across the top of my canopy once. That will get you to pucker factor 10 in about half a heartbeat.

[Old Ironsights]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=p ... f3PzjE#t=0

[Ysabel Kid]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=p ... f3PzjE#t=0

Hmmm... going to have to try some of those!