HUMOR - When You Have Sons...
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Welcome to the Leverguns.Com General Discussions Forum. This is a high-class place so act respectable. We discuss most anything here other than politics... politely.
Please post political post in the new Politics forum.
HUMOR - When You Have Sons...
I "borrowed" this from a Ruger forum, but am posting it here for JReed and others with -- or planning to have -- sons...
Enjoy!
Old No7
You find out interesting things when you have sons, like...
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however -- if tied to a paint can -- to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. (When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way...)
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late!
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke -- and lots of it!
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
11.) Playdough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O...
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) No, you probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is...
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like hot ovens.
20.) The fire department in [your town] has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It can, however, make cats dizzy...
23.) Cats throw up 2 to 3 times their body weight when dizzy!
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
Enjoy!
Old No7
You find out interesting things when you have sons, like...
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however -- if tied to a paint can -- to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. (When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way...)
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late!
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke -- and lots of it!
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
11.) Playdough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O...
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) No, you probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is...
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like hot ovens.
20.) The fire department in [your town] has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It can, however, make cats dizzy...
23.) Cats throw up 2 to 3 times their body weight when dizzy!
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
"Freedom and the Second Amendment... One cannot exist without the other." © 2000 DTH
My first thought:8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke -- and lots of it!
"Really...?"
Government office attracts the power-mad, yet it's people who just want to be left alone to live life on their own terms who are considered dangerous.
History teaches that it's a small window in which people can fight back before it is too dangerous to fight back.
History teaches that it's a small window in which people can fight back before it is too dangerous to fight back.
- Ysabel Kid
- Moderator
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- Contact:
- gundownunder
- Senior Levergunner
- Posts: 1449
- Joined: Fri Sep 07, 2007 12:02 pm
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My daughter keeps telling us that her son is a little terror.
I keep telling her she should give thanks she didn't have one like my daughter.
I keep telling her she should give thanks she didn't have one like my daughter.
Bob
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You have got to love democracy-
It lets you choose who your dictator is going to be.
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You have got to love democracy-
It lets you choose who your dictator is going to be.
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