OT: A good phone call

MikeS. · Post by **MikeS.** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 1:04 am

My 26 year old daughter has been with a 31 year old abusive alcoholic non-working bum for about 2 years. We have tried to get her to leave him for at least a year now, since we found out what he is really like.

Especially since we found out that she is pregnant. 4 months along.

Well finally she called me tonight to come get her. So I drove up to Pa. and got her and some of her things. Hopefully she'll have the courage to stay away from him.

Blaine · Post by **Blaine** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 1:26 am

I just don't know what makes people stay with those that hurt them.....I hope she listens to her heart on this one.....

20cows · Post by **20cows** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 6:29 am

I hope this is the start of something better for her.

Andrew · Post by **Andrew** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 7:01 am

Good for her, she'll be in my prayers.

FWiedner · Post by **FWiedner** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 7:37 am

Nobody wants to see a woman being abused, and society has become much more accepting of single mothers.

Me, I don't know which is worse for a woman.

I guess one is better than both.

Borregos · Post by **Borregos** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 7:46 am

Good luck and best wishes to you.

dr walker · Post by **dr walker** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 7:48 am

good wishes for your family

TedH · Post by **TedH** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 7:51 am

Good for her.

RIHMFIRE · Post by **RIHMFIRE** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 8:04 am

very good move....and prayers sent....
maybe a bunch of us guys need to take a road trip..
and give him some.....shall we say "guidence"

homefront · Post by **homefront** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 8:11 am

We could do a "Levergunner Intervention"

Love is a funny, and sometimes not-so-funny, thing.

I'll pray that she reaches right understanding, and comes to respect herself more than he does.

Oh, and congratulations, Grandpa!!

(Let us know about if you want the intervention)

Jason_W · Post by **Jason_W** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 8:51 am

If I had a daughter and some dude was abusive to her in any way. I'd probably be hauled away in handcuffs in no time flat.

Men who beat women are half a notch above child molesters on the totem pole of scumbaggery.

FWiedner · Post by **FWiedner** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 9:25 am

Jason_W wrote:If I had a daughter and some dude was abusive to her in any way. I'd probably be hauled away in handcuffs in no time flat.

Men who beat women are half a notch above child molesters on the totem pole of scumbaggery.

Not casting stones, and my comment is intended to be contemplated outside the realm of the current thread to offer a personal observation and opinion.

I have myself stepped in between domestic partners to stop fights and prevent beatings, and I oftimes agree with the "scumbag" sentiment expressed, but I will observe that some women, like some men, deserve nothing better than a sound beating.

C. Cash · Post by **C. Cash** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 9:34 am

Glad she got away and is coming back under your wing. I really hate to hear these things, but hopefully now he will find other pastures with your daughter under the care of loving(and armed

) family. Cowards usually find other places to operate when it's not easy for them to do what they want to do. God bless you all.

MikeS. · Post by **MikeS.** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 12:05 pm

He's a real puss, he won't face me but he might try something behind my back.

Thanks guys.

canonsix · Post by **canonsix** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 12:39 pm

you have hit on a major problem this type of man(I really hate to use that title for pond scum), will try to attack her thru you .Watch your six.
Twenty + years as a LEO, and I have a daughter go thru the same things.Prayers up for you and yours . Doug

Mich Hunter · Post by **Mich Hunter** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 12:54 pm

Marriage and relationships are tuff sometimes, but you donâ€™t want to ever cross that line. Having being married with two daughters of my own, I dread the day I am faced with that situation. If any man ever lays a hand on either, I will do my best to throw him back across that line. Its just one of those things you just donâ€™t tolerate. Good on you sir for having the restraint on not burying this guy. I canâ€™t say for sure that I would

ohwin94_61 · Post by **ohwin94_61** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 5:42 pm

Good for her and she's not only watching out for her safety but also the life of the unborn baby God Bless them

AJMD429 · Post by **AJMD429** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 7:17 pm

FWiedner wrote:
Jason_W wrote:If I had a daughter and some dude was abusive to her in any way. I'd probably be hauled away in handcuffs in no time flat.

Men who beat women are half a notch above child molesters on the totem pole of scumbaggery.
Not casting stones, and my comment is intended to be contemplated outside the realm of the current thread to offer a personal observation and opinion.

I have myself stepped in between domestic partners to stop fights and prevent beatings, and I oftimes agree with the "scumbag" sentiment expressed, but I will observe that some women, like some men, deserve nothing better than a sound beating.

As a kid (barely 21) I pulled up beside a car on the highway where a man was kicking a woman he'd evidently chased/hauled out of a car, and although several cars had stopped and people were half out of the cars yelling at him to stop, all were either elderly or other women, and evidently I was the only sinner of the bunch (had a loaded gun under the seat), because I didn't really want to physically intervene, or let loose any bullets (especially since the only gun I had, and was carrying, at the time, was a Super Blackhawk

), but was able to shout loud enough for them to hear "Maam - do you want to borrow this GUN...?" The guy stood up, looked over his shoulder, and while he hesitated at the sight of the large gun I was cheerfully holding up, she kicked him where it counts, and scrambled away to her car, taking off in a cloud of dust. Everyone else just left, and once the guy repositioned his gonads, I suppose he had a long walk home! I'd forgotten the incident until now. One of those times things could have gone wrong, but didn't, and I'm not sure I've ever thought of any different way (no cell phones then) to handle the situation that would be better. I would NOT have actually loaned her the gun, though, but it distracted/stopped him, which was my only goal

iceman · Post by **iceman** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 8:08 pm

Glad to hear you got her to safety. My best wishes and prayers to you and yours. Remember to watch your back. those kind od guys are not real good at face to face.

marlinman93 · Post by **marlinman93** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 8:12 pm

Glad she's coming home Mike, but unfortunately she'll be stuck with that clown in her life in some way once they have a child together. Pray that he someday signs over his parental rights, so she can move on without him dropping in occasionally!

Griff · Post by **Griff** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 8:23 pm

Good for you Mike. Prayers up.

cutter · Post by **cutter** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 9:53 pm

Best of luck , friend.

I hope things work out for the best for mother, child, and family.

I know what you are going through, and offer whatever help I can.

It's a tough road, but the one a man should take. And for a daughter, to have a father in her life, is sometimes enough. Hang tough , buddy. I've got my fingers and toes crossed.

I know I can't say enough, but I've seen what happens when a precious little girl is allowed to stray, so I can say this; Be strong, be honest, don't insult the ex*, and don't be afraid to ask for help.

* To you, he doesn't exist. Your the father, and therefore the man she needs.

MikeS. · Post by **MikeS.** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 12:50 am

Well my idiot daughter went back to that worthless bum tonight. Her mother and I are just at a loss. We couldn't talk her out of it.

Post by **Ysabel Kid** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 7:05 am

darn. I was just typing out that I was glad to hear she left when I saw your update...

horsesoldier03 · Post by **horsesoldier03** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 7:30 am

Sorry to hear that, its not too late, she may change her mind! Will keep you and your family in my prayers!

Jason_W · Post by **Jason_W** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 9:12 am

MikeS. wrote:Well my idiot daughter went back to that worthless bum tonight. Her mother and I are just at a loss. We couldn't talk her out of it.

Wow, real sorry to hear that. Don't give up on trying to talk some sense into her.