OT- Restraining order

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Rusty
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OT- Restraining order

Post by Rusty »

Former Marine Sniper Slapped With 3,000-Yard Restraining Order

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/54719

MACON, GA—Citing Emily Holman's right to feel safe traversing vast open spaces, especially when within visual range of clock towers, parking structures, and tall buildings, a judge awarded the 28-year-old a 3,000-yard restraining order yesterday against her former boyfriend, retired Marine sniper Gordon Lee Blackwood. "When we broke up he started calling me 10 times a day from his job," said Holman, who realized Blackwood's office building, which had an open, flat roof, was only 1,800 yards away. "He had me flinching every time I saw sunlight glinting off any surface within two and a half miles." Blackwood would not comment on the judge's decision, saying only that he still loved Holman and was trying to understand the distance and crosswinds that separated them.
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Old Ironsights
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Re: OT- Restraining order

Post by Old Ironsights »

Gotta love The Onion... Only "newspaper" in the world that can have the headline:

Air France Disaster caused by Plane Crash...
C2N14... because life is not energetic enough.
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awp101
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Re: OT- Restraining order

Post by awp101 »

Rusty wrote:saying only that he still loved Holman and was trying to understand the distance and crosswinds that separated them.
:lol:

I shouldn't find that funny but I do love good gallows humor... :lol:
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jnyork
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Re: OT- Restraining order

Post by jnyork »

Thanks, I stole it and sent it to everyone on my list, at least one of which will take it seriously. :shock: :D
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rjohns94
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Re: OT- Restraining order

Post by rjohns94 »

i love it!!
Mike Johnson,

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Blaine
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Re: OT- Restraining order

Post by Blaine »

:lol:
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Jarhead
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Re: OT- Restraining order

Post by Jarhead »

:lol:

"trying to understand the distance and crosswinds that separated them "

:wink:
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C. Cash
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Re: OT- Restraining order

Post by C. Cash »

Another relationship ruined over "DOPE." Too bad...... :wink:
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
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1886
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Re: OT- Restraining order

Post by 1886 »

Don't you just love it, you have no idea what you did wrong and they do not have the decency to tell you what it was. Go figure. 1886.
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Ysabel Kid
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Re: OT- Restraining order

Post by Ysabel Kid »

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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AJMD429
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Re: OT- Restraining order

Post by AJMD429 »

awp101 wrote:
Rusty wrote:saying only that he still loved Holman and was trying to understand the distance and crosswinds that separated them.
:lol:

I shouldn't find that funny but I do love good gallows humor... :lol:
+1 Beautiful...! 8)
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mescalero1
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Re: OT- Restraining order

Post by mescalero1 »

1886,
Sometimes it gets even weirder,
sometimes they look you up after 28 years! :shock:
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Charles
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Re: OT- Restraining order

Post by Charles »

Restraining Orders are worthless. There have never been a couple sheets of paper that would stop a bullet.
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Pisgah
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Re: OT- Restraining order

Post by Pisgah »

I love the Onion. Sometimes I think most of the "pass this urgent alert along to everyone you know" e-mails I get originate there.
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