If today's 'news' media were to report D-day...

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AJMD429
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If today's 'news' media were to report D-day...

#1 Post by AJMD429 » Sat Jun 08, 2019 8:01 pm

Subject: How D-Day would be covered by today's media...


NORMANDY, FRANCE (June 6, 1944) Three hundred French civilians were killed and thousands more were wounded today in the first hours of America's invasion of continental Europe. Casualties were heaviest among women and children. Most of the French casualties were the result of artillery fire from American ships attempting to knock out German fortifications prior to the landing of hundreds of thousands of U.S. troops. Reports from a makeshift hospital in the French town of St. Mere Eglise said the carnage was far worse than the French had anticipated, and that reaction against the American invasion was running high. "We are dying for no reason, "said a Frenchman speaking on condition of anonymity "Americans can't even shoot straight. I never thought I'd say this, but life was better under Adolph Hitler."

The invasion also caused severe environmental damage. American troops, tanks, trucks and machinery destroyed miles of pristine shoreline and thousands of acres of ecologically sensitive wetlands. It was believed that the habitat of the spineless French crab was completely wiped out, thus threatening the species with extinction. A representative of Greenpeace said his organization, which had tried to stall the invasion for over a year, was appalled at the destruction, but not surprised. "This is just another example of how the military destroys the environment without a second thought," said Christine Moanmore. "And it's all about corporate greed."

Contacted at his Manhattan condo, a member of the French government-in-exile who abandoned Paris when Hitler invaded, said the invasion was based solely on American financial interests. "Everyone knows that President Roosevelt has ties to 'big beer'," said Pierre Le Wimp. "Once the German beer industry is conquered, Roosevelt's beer cronies will control the world market and make a fortune."

Administration supporters said America's aggressive actions were based in part on the assertions of controversial scientist Albert Einstein, who sent a letter to Roosevelt speculating that the Germans were developing a secret weapon -- a so-called "atomic bomb." Such a weapon could produce casualties on a scale never seen before, and cause environmental damage that could last for thousands of years. Hitler has denied having such a weapon and international inspectors were unable to locate such weapons even after spending two long weekends in Germany. Shortly after the invasion began, reports surfaced that German prisoners had been abused by American soldiers. Mistreatment of Jews by Germans at their so-called "concentration camps" has been rumored, but so far this remains unproven.

Several thousand Americans died during the first hours of the invasion, and French officials are concerned that the uncollected corpses will pose a public-health risk. "The Americans should have planned for this in advance," they said. "It's their mess, and we don't intend to help clean it up."

The invasion is blamed on Roosevelt's hawkish military advisers and the influence of British Prime Minister Churchill, who have repeated ignored calls for a negotiated settlement to end the war and who have reportedly rejected peace overtures from Germany through several neutral parties. Instead, the Roosevelt administration and its allies have chosen to insist on maintaining their extreme policy of demanding unconditional surrender.

There have been notable voices of opposition from sports figures and celebrities decrying the horrific violence and saying that this is not who we are.

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Sadly, it would probably be even worse than this satirical report.... :|
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piller
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Re: If today's 'news' media were to report D-day...

#2 Post by piller » Mon Jun 10, 2019 12:46 am

A sad part is that Walter Crankbite would have claimed we had lost. Dan Blather would have faked a report showing that General Patton had lied about his prior service. Finally, Jim acosting children Acosta would have filed a lawsuit about not being allowed to hold a news conference the day before where he would have broadcast the plans.
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Re: If today's 'news' media were to report D-day...

#3 Post by AJMD429 » Mon Jun 10, 2019 6:37 am

What is unfortunate about our so-divided society nowadays is that this particular humorous item has been passed around all over the place, and I've seen otherwise reasonable people 'take offense' at the portrayal of the political left and the 'news' media.

I guess if you criticize the far-left, anyone left of Rush LImbaugh takes offense.
Doctors for Sensible Gun Laws
"first do no harm" - gun control LAWS lead to far more deaths than 'easy access' ever could.


Want REAL change? . . . . . "Boortz/Nugent in 2012 . . . ! "

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