Yet more animal training.....

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Yet more animal training.....

Post by Ray »

They called him Pill. No one living is left to tell how he got that sobriquet. His given name was Euell but he preferred Pill.

Pill was what they call a character and Pill was something of a raconteur. If there was ever a lull in the conversation when men were mobbed together shooting the bull and chewing the fat, then Pill would clear his throat and get a far-off glazed gaze and everyone knew he was about to speak. He spoke with a wheedling, nasally pitch, pursing his lips in and out much like the old hollywood western thespian george hayes. He had odd hand gestures to emphasize a point.....something the way he held a cigarette and pointed at you with it clamped between fingers, fore and middle made you think you were part of the story.

Pill always told the story straight, without any attempt at levity. He delivered his lines in simple, bare facts in mono tones with a deadpanned look. Though he told the tales straight, hilariously funny they were. If he had had a manager or agent to pitch him he could have been the next southern gentlemen stand-up comedian. Someone in the class of windy bagwell or jerry clower. But Pill never realized that he was funny, in fact he often got his feelings hurt when folks laughed too long or loud. And laugh they did. He made folks laugh so hard they cried and could scarcely hold their bladders.

One day the local proletariat were gathered around a drum of boiling peanuts, some standing, others sitting on the tailgates of their trucks. At some point talk took the turn to bird hunting.....the birds in this case being bobwhite quail. A three second rest in the conversation was all Pill needed. You cold have heard the proverbial pin drop as Pill cleared his throat and gazed up into the skies like he was looking for something.....

"I was just a wee lad when we lived on the 40 acres at the ballplay community. We had an obdurate milk cow that would not come-up on her own from the meadow to the milking shed. Her calf mewing would bring her but nothing less than driving her with a switch would do otherwise. One morning pa lost his cool and fetched the old bay state fowling piece and let her have a dose of shot at about sixty paces and she immediately mended her ways and came right up.

"Some cows have a short memory.....apparently this one's was very short. Pa had to leave early for work one morning and it was left to ma and me for milking. That cow was up on the compost pile/dung heap bellowing for its calf and wouldn't come up. Though I wasn't yet in grade school I thought that I was the man about the place in pa's absence. By way of a chair I was able to fetch down the old 16 ga. and I knew just where the shells were kept. I waddled up within a stones throw of the cow and let her have it. She went straight down, graveyard dead. Ma called pa in from work and oh ! the look that he gave me. He picked up the shotgun from where I had dropped it and removed the shell, giving me another murderous glare. He was speechless for a while, steam coming out of his ears, cartoon fashion when he finally found his tongue."

"Pill, son. You shot that cow with a high brass number four. Them shells I used to chase her-up were only loaded with okra seed !"
m.A.g.a. !
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Re: Yet more animal training.....

Post by Blaine »

I hereby nominate you for the Robert Ruark "Hall Of Fame".
Studies Have Shown That Chubby People Live Far Longer Than Those That Make Fun Of Them :twisted:
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Re: Yet more animal training.....

Post by piller »

:lol: :lol: :lol:
D. Brian Casady
Quid Llatine Dictum Sit, Altum Viditur.
Advanced is being able to do the basics while your leg is on fire---Bill Jeans
Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up---Robert Frost
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Re: Yet more animal training.....

Post by octagon »

I like it :D As a kid, we loaded our BB guns with Milo (maize) and played war games in the mesquite pasture with 12 cousins, they stung real good but would not break the skin.
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