Lighten Up Francis

[JimT]

Police arrested two kids yesterday ....
one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one - and let the other off.


Poop jokes aren’t my favorite kind of jokes.
But they are a solid number two.


I like to tell jokes about vegans every now and then.
But not about tofu.
That’s just tasteless.


I dreamed I saw a color I never saw before.
It was just a pigment of my imagination.


QUESTION: What’s the most sarcastic body of water on earth?
ANSWER: The Crimea River.


My grandad asked me how to print on his computer…
I told him it’s Ctrl-P.
He says he hasn’t been able to do that for ages.


Today my son asked, “Can you lend me a book mark?”
I immediately burst into tears.
12 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Jeff.

[gamekeeper]

Thanks Jim, I love starting my day with a laugh.....

[M. M. Wright]

[mikld]

Thanks Jim, good way to start a day...

[3leggedturtle]

You call me Francis, i'll kill ya!
You touch my stuff i' ll kill ya!
Thought you were referring to Stripes.....

PS Ya know what the tooth fairy's favorite animal, a molar bear!

[piller]

A tree grows in Brooklyn, and every dog for 5 miles knows it.