WASHINGTON — Everyone’s favorite MRE will no longer be available a Pentagon spokesperson admitted in a press conference yesterday. There have been no incidents with the bat tartare entree, according to the DoD, but officials are concerned that everyone, except maybe the Marines, will now be repulsed by the option.
The Defense Department made the move more than a week ago amid the growing coronavirus pandemic. Many experts believe that if the original bat eater had dumped a miniature bottle of MRE Tabasco sauce on it, the contagion might have been stopped right before it began.
“This wouldn’t be the first time the U.S. has had to recall military rations,” said Defense Health Agency director Lt. Gen. Ronald J. Place. “After Harambe died, we had to get rid of our gorilla burger, and I don’t even want to talk about WWI and the bird meat ravioli.”
When asked why the MRE wasn’t taken off the shelves back in December, when the coronavirus was discovered, officials conceded that they did not take early warnings seriously enough.
“Our bats are locally sourced, free cave, organic bats and are rigorously tested for disease,” an official said.
The DoD is already looking for replacement options. They are currently considering lamprey tacos and iguana meatloaf.
** The Duffleblog **
DoD Pulls An MRE Selection
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DoD Pulls An MRE Selection
The Rotten Fruit Always Hits The Ground First
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Proud Life Member Of:
NRA
Second Amendment Foundation
Citizens Committee For The Right To Keep And Bear Arms
DAV
Re: DoD Pulls An MRE Selection
Ummm! 'guana meatloaf! Yum... Wondering, tail meat or drum stick meat?
Mike
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Vocatus atque non vocatus, Deus aderit...
I've learned how to stand on my own two knees...
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Re: DoD Pulls An MRE Selection
They have vegetarian/vegan only MRE's too, that should be pulled. Bats probably have more meat on them than escargot/snails!
30/30 Winchester: Not accurate enough fer varmints, barely adequate for small deer; BUT In a 10" to 14" barrelled pistol; is good for moose/elk to 200 yards; ground squirrels to 300 metres
250 Savage... its what the 223 wishes it could be...!
250 Savage... its what the 223 wishes it could be...!