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Pete44ru
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(sigh)

#1 Post by Pete44ru » Thu Jan 10, 2019 2:13 pm

.

The following questions/answers are from last year’s GED exams.

(These are genuine answers from 16 year olds)

Q. Name the four seasons.
A.. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q. How is dew formed ?
A.. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on ?
A.. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections ?
A.. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q. What are steroids ?
A.. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs ..

Q. What happens to your body as you age ?
A.. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty ?
A.. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A.. Premature death.

Q. What is artificial insemination ?
A.. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour ?
A.. Keep it in the cow. (I use a little salt added to the bottle)


Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body (e.g.: the abdomen) categorized ?
A.. The body is consisted into 3 parts — the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O, U.

Q. What is the fibula ?
A.. A small lie.

Q. What does ‘varicose’ mean ?
A.. Nearby.

Q. What is the most common form of birth control ?
A.. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Cesarean section.’
A.. The Cesarean section is a district in Rome.

Q. What is a seizure ?
A.. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure: I came, I saw, I had a fit.)

Q. What is a terminal illness ?
A.. When you are sick at the airport.

Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean ?
A.. Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Q. What is a turbine?
A.. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head - Once an Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head.

.
IF IN THESE TYMES OF JEOPARDY,
MORTAL PERIL INVADES THY THOUGHT,
TAKE UP THIS TRVSTY PIECE,
TRVST IN THY GOD, AND FEAR THEE NAUGHT.

(The avatar is me, in 1948 ! )

.

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crs
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#2 Post by crs » Thu Jan 10, 2019 2:19 pm

Thanks for the chuckle.
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M. M. Wright
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#3 Post by M. M. Wright » Thu Jan 10, 2019 2:20 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
M. M. Wright, Sheriff, Green county Arkansas (1860)
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1894c
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Re: (sigh)

#4 Post by 1894c » Thu Jan 10, 2019 2:22 pm

this is definitely the "vinegar season"... :)

fordwannabe
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Re: (sigh)

#5 Post by fordwannabe » Thu Jan 10, 2019 4:46 pm

Those wouldn’t seem so funny if you live or work in Harrisburg Pa. Those may be the head of their class in Harrisburg.
a Pennsylvanian who has been accused of clinging to my religion and my guns......Good assessment skills.

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jeepnik
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Re: (sigh)

#6 Post by jeepnik » Thu Jan 10, 2019 5:34 pm

I wouldn't laugh. In two years they will be old enough to vote. :roll:
Jeepnik AKA "Old Eyes"
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Nath
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Re: (sigh)

#7 Post by Nath » Sat Jan 12, 2019 1:50 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
It'll only be a few of them, it's not all the kids.
Ok, they may end up in power but it'll be ok :lol:
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Because I wish I could!

Plottman
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Re: (sigh)

#8 Post by Plottman » Sat Jan 12, 2019 7:35 pm

Yes, they will be our next elected officals.

piller
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Re: (sigh)

#9 Post by piller » Sat Jan 12, 2019 9:24 pm

That last one would explain why some people are sheet heads. :lol:

Seriously, a PhD in Archeology whom I know would not see the humor in it. She is the most Liberal person whom I have ever worked with. Laine is a member of the Cherokee Tribe and considers Elizabeth Warren to be a personal hero. When asked about Elizabeth Warren's lies about being "Native American", Laine has to reboot her mind. She may have a PhD, but she is as sharp as a ball bearing most of the time.
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fordwannabe
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Re: (sigh)

#10 Post by fordwannabe » Sat Jan 12, 2019 10:18 pm

Piller I know a whole bunch of people with advanced degrees who shouldn’t be trusted with a pair of scissors. Book smart and smart are NOT the same.
a Pennsylvanian who has been accused of clinging to my religion and my guns......Good assessment skills.

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