Stolen !

[Pete44ru]

.


In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.

He approached her and asked “Mrs. Jones, do you know me ?”

She responded, “Why yes I do know you since you were a little boy, and frankly you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think your a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes I know you."

The lawyer was stunned.

Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked," Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney ?"

She replied, “Why yes I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem, He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.”

The defense attorney nearly died.


The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice said:

“If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you both to the electric chair.”


(Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.)


.

[Old No7]

OK, the joke was pretty good...

But I'm just glad none of your guns were "Stolen!" -- as that's sorta what I was expecting to see here.............

Old No7

[Nate Kiowa Jones]

OK, the joke was pretty good...

But I'm just glad none of your guns were "Stolen!" -- as that's sorta what I was expecting to see here.............

Old No7

Are you sure it's joke!!!!! I was told there are only two lawyer jokes. All the rest are true!!!

[Griff]

OK, the joke was pretty good...
But I'm just glad none of your guns were "Stolen!" -- as that's sorta what I was expecting to see here.............
Old No7

Are you sure it's joke!!!!! I was told there are only two lawyer jokes. All the rest are true!!!

Yeah, I'm still not sure if the lawyer joke I like best is true or not...

[Nath]

[GunnyMack]

Hey do you know why laboratories are now using lawyers for testing ?

Because somethings even a rat won't do!

[M. M. Wright]

[jeepnik]

On a serious note. I was on a jury for a house break in. The main witness was an elderly woman who lived across the street and saw the thieves leaving the house.

The defense attorney ask about eye sight, yes she wore glasses buy only for reading, her distance vision was fine. He ask about lighting. She said she had complained to the city about the lights on the ball field being left on all night, so lighting wasn't an issue. He gave up.

The prosecutor re directed and ask how she knew it was the two guys on trial. The pointed at one and said she'd known him since he was a toddler (actually gave the age) and the other since he was born.

[Chuck 100 yd]