Got a "stupid hunter" story?

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jnyork
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Got a "stupid hunter" story?

Post by jnyork »

My wife reminded me tonight of an incident that happened to us years ago when we were elk hunting near Atlantic City WY. Slowly sneakin' and peekin' down through the timber, we came to a little clearing and decided to set up on the edge of it back in the trees a little ways, take a break and have a sip out of the thermos. Unnoticed by us was a little faint two-track through the meadow coming from the timber above. As we sat there, we heard a loud engine and some crashing and thrashing among the trees , in a few moments we observed a beat up old pickup with a headache rack on the back. Inside were two yokels playing a Hank Williams Jr. tape as loud as it would go probably, saw both of them tip up what appeared to be a Coors. Standing in the bed, hanging on to the headache rack , were two more yokels, one holding a crossbow with arrow nocked, the other was blowing on an elk bugle! They passed with 25 yards of us and never saw us, drove off down the two-track into the trees again. We finished our coffee and set out back up the hill to the truck, gave it up as a bad job for the rest of the day. :lol:
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Re: Got a "stupid hunter" story?

Post by Thunder50 »

My "Little Brother" and his Dad and I were hunting down at the Mcalaster Army Ammunition Depot during archery season. Saw a lot of deer the first day, most out of range and I guess around the campfire "little brother" let slip where we were hunting.

Next morning, about a half hour after sunrise, here comes this guy at the edge of the clearing and picks a tree and starts to chop on it. Then he starts breaking limbs. No effort to be quiet. After about a half hour he finishes and sits on his stand. For about a whole 15 minutes, then he leaves. Didn't see a deer all day in that area.
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Re: Got a "stupid hunter" story?

Post by Larkbill »

Mom and Dad sold their house and 20 of their 160 acres to move to town. The new folks had permission to hunt the place but never did so it was pretty quiet back there. After about 5-7 years my youngest bro started spending weekends there and built a pole barn with apartment. Planted some food plots, and looked around at possible new stand locations. Since he spent high school years there he knew it fairly well.

One weekend just before gun season he was in the more open woods in the back 40 when he noticed something light colored on the ground in the distance near a gully about 10 yards from the fence. Went over and found a pile of shelled corn and nearby a double ladder stand. Stinkin' poachers! What to do. Called Operation Game Thief and the next day (Sunday) the local agent called and arranged to come out that afternoon. After looking at it and taking a statement he asked bro if the agent could stake it out opening day. Of course bro said yes.

Opening morning the agent showed up at 0300 and after looking around asked bro if he would mind helping the agent find the stand in the dark. Sure. After positioning the agent bro went back and sat on a stool behind the barn in case all the activity in the back pushed deer up that way. Later the agent told him about 1/2 hour before shooting time he heard people stumbling through the woods over on the neighbors place then before long could see their flashlights. One of them fell climbing the fence and cussed the other one loudly. They finally got themselves and gear up in the stand which was about 15 ' tall. He waited until he heard them load their guns before hitting them with his spot light and announced the presence of a state agent. They unloaded and lowered their rifles back down then climbed down themselves. The agent said they claimed they thought they were on the neighbors place and didn't notice any fence. After the agent laughed at them they claimed they had permission to be there. He explained how that couldn't be true. Eventually they were escorted back to the fence with several tickets and their shiny new Browning A-Bolts stayed as bond.

Bro was still working then so couldn't go to court but heard later it cost them each close to $2500 to get their rifles back. He figured it all worked out.
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Re: Got a "stupid hunter" story?

Post by Griff »

My hunting buddies & I didn't get drawn for our usual area, but did for one of our backup areas. So, up around Mt. Lassen we went. Arrived about 2 days early and set up our camp and scouted around. I picked up a nice clearing with some felled trees around the edge and a little deer trail in thru one side. I set up before daylight on the opposite side, between two of the downed trees.

About 11am I saw a big doe bound thru the clearing from left to right, along that trail. About 10 minutes later one of my buddies came along and tracking that deer. He must of lost the trail, cause as he came into the clearing he started casting about looking for track. He finally came over and sat on the tree right in front of me... Setting his rifle & daypack down, he fished around in it and came up with a thermos and a sandwich. About halfway thru his sandwich, I asked him if he had another peanut butter & jelly sandwich.

He claims I didn't surprise him to this day. But he came straight off that tree... his butt a good 5' above the tree! If he wasn't scared, he sure did a great impression of being so!

Unfortunately, he didn't have another sandwich, so I had to break out mine. That same trip a dad & his sons came out there and camped next to us. His VW Thing had racks fore and aft, and he had a teepee packed in it, with the poles on top. Probably about 20' in diameter. It rained quite a bit while we were there, and that teepee was about as comfortable as anywhere I've ever camped. I have now a 20'x16' wall tent, and that teepee rivaled it. Back then I had a little 12' Coleman tent, and it the rain it wasn't all that nice. In fact, for wet weather, it was downright miserable.
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Re: Got a "stupid hunter" story?

Post by geobru »

Years ago, I took a high school buddy hunting to my favorite honey hole. I put him on a stand where I had killed a deer two years earlier, and I went over to an opening where I got a deer the previous year. The opening was about 50 yards across and I sat down on a log along one edge. I'd been there about 10 minutes and an adult hunter with a kid walked into this opening and sat down on a log about 35 yards from me in the middle of the opening. After a few minutes, I figured out that they were there to stay. I was a little more than PO'd at their rude behavior, so I decided to foul up that spot as much as I could. I stood up and walked through the opening in front of them and hunted directly into the breeze so my scent would carry through that meadow for as long as possible.


That started my first attempt at still hunting. I hunted down through the timber for a quarter mile and shot a nice 3 point black tail deer that tried to sneak around behind me. If it hadn't been for that ding dong and his kid, I wouldn't have been in position to get that buck. I had to thank them for pushing me out of that stand and getting me started still hunting. I never sat in a stand all day again after that experience.
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Re: Got a "stupid hunter" story?

Post by Nath »

Over here we hunt varmints at night as some of you guys know.
One windy night we happened on a badger.
He had his snout in the turf deep and could not hear us at all as we approached its rear end.
I beckoned my buddy give it a good kick oop the jacksie.

Now he just so happened to be wearing a pair of new expensive Wellington boots and upon giving the badger a rude awakening to its rear it spun around in a split second and fanged hold of the toes section of my buddies new boots and dutifully punctured them for him narrowly missing his toes!!

I still have to this day a clear image by flash light of a man balancing on one leg, the other leg raised with a full grown badger hanging off his boot and hat blowing away in the wind....cracks me up every time I recall it. :lol:

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Re: Got a "stupid hunter" story?

Post by 2ndovc »

At my last place I had 35 acres surrounded on three sides by several hundred more. I was out sighting a .44 Mag I was going to use in the upcoming season around early November. A friend was out wanting to shoot one of his rifles as well. I had a nice tall and wide dirt pile out back left over from digging the basement and foundation of the new house. My buddy fires a couple rounds from his AR and we hear someone yelling in the woods behind the backstop. Some dude was setting up a stand in one of my trees. When I asked him what he thought he was doing out there, he told me he got permission from the owner last week to set up his stand. "That's interesting, I don't remember giving permission to anyone to hunt back here except the guy standing next to me." He started back peddling and mentioned the old man that use to own the farm and said he told him he could hunt there this year. Again, very interesting, Mr. Garret had been gone for over three years. I suggested that he pack up is stuff and go, he was quite aware that we were pretty well armed that afternoon. Muttered some rude comments and went about packing up his stuff. Didn't see that guy again but did find a couple more stands over the years. I'd cut them down and leave them for a few days. Usually disappeared.
I had another guy ask to set some trap lines along our creek the first year out there. I told him no, that we had dogs and they had the run of the place. He started getting really nasty and yelling that he's been trapping that farm for 20 years. Told him I didn't care, it was mine now and I'd busted my behind to buy a place like this and build a new house at 25 years old. After some more shouting, this had escalated really quickly and I still don't know why, he notice my Ex standing at the front door with her 12 gage and the cordless phone. She had heard the guy yelling. Turned around, got in his little green Ranger and peeled off. Never saw him again, but I was up for several nights after that thinking he might come back. That dude was really unstable and we were out in the middle of nowhere.

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Re: Got a "stupid hunter" story?

Post by Old No7 »

Gosh... It must have been 30 years or so ago...

I was still hunting a small ridge out in western Mass (before escaping to Maine) during the shotgun deer season with my brothers, when I came up on some other guy sitting next to a tree and I asked if he'd seen anything... He response was...

"No, I don't think so..........."

Expecting a "yes" or "no" answer to my question, I asked him to explain...

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a carefully folded photo of a small deer standing broadside in a field that was obviously cut out of Field & Stream or Outdoor Life and he said:

"This is what they will look like, right?"

Maybe I should have grabbed the paper and ripped it up, or have been more supportive and encouraged him to find a hunting mentor, but all I remember saying was "Get your butt out of these woods until you know what you're doing..." or something like that.

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Re: Got a "stupid hunter" story?

Post by Pete44ru »

.

In the 70's, I was sitting on a ground deer post @ daybreak (5:30AM)..…………

About 7AM, I heard a shot, then in a few minute a ruckus off to my right front, maybe 100 yards away through the woods.

After hearing a human yell, I went over to investigate...……….

What I discovered was an adult male hunter and a Whitetail buck together ! . :o

The guy had ahold of one of the buck's rear legs, and was trying to stab the buck with his hunting knife while both were scuffling/dancing/circling around, with him yelling all the while "c'mere ya sumnabitch" ! :shock:

I shot the deer in the head @ 15' for him, killing it - after which he told me he shot the buck @ 10yds, and dropped it.

He said he had hustled over to it, flipped it on it's back & started to field dress it, when the buck struggled to it's feet when he put the point of his knife into the belly.

Since his rifle was against a tree after the shot/drop, AND he already had the buck's foot in one hand & his knife in the other, all he could think of was to make like Tarzan.

The hunter, being excited I guess, neglected to thank me, so I split, leaving to himself (with the deer).


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Re: Got a "stupid hunter" story?

Post by Nate Kiowa Jones »

Not a stupid hunter but a spoiled but smart deer. This happened this week. The mound of dirt is the berm at the back of my shooting range. I also have a feeder there too. Notice the ropes and pulley there on the left. I was back there testing and refilling the feeder and she heard it so here she comes. I poured some corn on the ground for her and she stayed right there until I left.


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This is one of my stupid deer. Somehow he managed to get caught up in the electric gate opener. I got him out but he had broke a rear leg at the hoof . But, he still managed ran off once I got him untangled. Don't know if he made it or not, though.

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Re: Got a "stupid hunter" story?

Post by Sixgun »

Geeze...how many you want to hear? (dates may be off my a year or two and the stupid hunter was usually me.

1981....my dad dropped a nice 6 point.....after admiringly the "dead" deer on the ground he whips out his trusty Case knife, gets on his knees to gut the deer and the deer jumps up and runs away. We never found the deer, nor a blood trail.

1977....I was determined to stay in one spot the entire day, which I did......and that's not easy when your 23.. Upon arriving back at the truck, in the dark, I met my brother and three other guys. They asked me where I was posting and I told them. They all started to laugh. Seems they were in a two hundred yard circle....with me smack in the middle.


1976.....I was hunting a 300 acre watershed.....thought I had the place to myself....no other cars/trucks anywhere.......picked myself a nice spot.....an hour later some guy walked within 5 feet....yes, 5 feet....of me and sat down. We made eye contact. WTF?????.....weirdo for sure. I grabbed the 1886 in 33 and proceeded to walk zig-zag in his viewing area hollering as loud as I could. Would not do that today, might catch some hot lead.


1984......I was by myself walking and walking..a mile from the truck.....down a very steep ravine about 300 yards down, in a valley. Not thinking (me, not thinking) a 8 point jumps up and I shot it with one shot from the 33 Winchester. After gutting it and admiring the deer, I tagged the deer got my drag rope out. Forget it ...huffing and puffing to move that 175 pound buck 5 feet up the hill...and I was in great shape. I ashamedly walked the mile to a farmers house and asked for help. Luckily, for me, this guy was built like a 55 gallon drum and all muscle. He walked with me for the work. After that, I always kept a wheelbarrow in the truck but in that case, it probably would not have done any good.

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Re: Got a "stupid hunter" story?

Post by jeepnik »

Not stupid, but inexperienced.

I good friend, now sadly departed, got into hunting in his thirties. I started him slow and he progressed quite well. He had phenomenal eyesight. He decided he wanted to try calling in coyotes. So I set the trip up.

After we parked, we walked up to a ridge above a wash I knew they used as a highway. On the way to the spot I'd used before to call in yotes I noticed some very large cat tracks. Mountain lion sized tracks. Now Chuck was somewhat excitable so I didn't say anything. I noticed the tracks were at least several days old.

Calling began and sadly nothing came in. So as we were walking back out I decided it was time for a bit of fun and games. I pointed the tracks out to Chuck and as expected he got excited. So I spun a yarn. I told him that sometimes the big cats will take a "liking" to someone and just follow them. Then I happened to mention that the cat's track were "right on top of his".

Needless to say this put Chuck on the highest possible alert. He was jumpy all the way back to the Jeep. Once we got there I couldn't contain myself and finally spilled the beans. It was quite entertaining, for me at least.
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Re: Got a "stupid hunter" story?

Post by octagon »

A fellow I knew from school, a promising pole vaulter, was dove hunting when he tried to cross a fence while holding a 20 gauge. Blew the calf muscle right off his leg, but the leg was saved.

I opened up a few shows for a pretty famous songwriter in Corpus years ago. He later went to help a farmer with a hog problem around Eldorado, when he went to pull his chambered deer rifle from the truck and BANG killed his self.
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Re: Got a "stupid hunter" story?

Post by Rusty »

A guy I went to high school with was out hunting on the opening day of dove season with another friend. His friend had a very nice Winchester M12 that had a problem with it. It seemed that when the gun was loaded and you put on the safety it would discharge. He took it to the only gunsmith we had in town and he FIXED IT. The friend loaded the gun, put a round in the chamber, and promptly sent a 12 gauge dove load into his buddies lower leg just below the knee. He did end up with a very nice artificial leg.
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Re: Got a "stupid hunter" story?

Post by geobru »

I guess the other half of the story from my earlier post occurred when my high school buddy that I had left on a stand decided to go for a walk. He was going through some scrub oak and saw a doe and a fawn walking toward him on the same deer trail. He decided to have some fun and hid in the oaks and waited for the deer to come by. When the doe got even with him, he jumped out and growled at her, thinking that she would exit stage left at a high rate of speed. It was somewhere in the next half second or so that he discovered that a doe deer with a fawn could stand on her hind legs and simultaneously kick with her front legs to knock him into the second or third Tuesday of next week. He managed to get a tree between himself and the deer before she left for the other side of the mountain. That was the only time I ever hunted with that particular guy! :lol:
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Re: Got a "stupid hunter" story?

Post by AJMD429 »

Sometimes I'm the "Stupid Hunter"...

A few years ago my son was, as usual, filling the walls in his room with maps and trail-cam pics, and going through his pile of numbered and dated antlers, identifying which bucks were where, and when. He had a topographic map of our hunting area up on the wall, and called me in to tell me where I (the landowner) was 'allowed' to hunt, so I didn't spook all the deer.

The only places he said I could hunt were way up a big hill, and I had to go a roundabout way to them that was a royal pain, lest I even cross a deer trail running from the neighbor's floodplain cropland to the hill behind our house. I want to just hunt at the little stand I put up years ago right behind the house and about 100 feet from our shooting-range bench, but he says "That's a STUPID place to have a deer stand; you'll never get a deer there - you need to use one of mine - they're perfectly positioned and each one is specifically set up to be ideal for a specific time of day and wind condition."

He gets upset with me because I wear the same hunting boots once I leave the house, and he keeps his in a locker in his vehicle, along with leaves and twigs from the woods, about 100 feet from the house. I realize that the scent from our dogs could be picked up from my boots, but I also realize he's not going to hunt for three more days so why should it be that big a deal. Besides - I own the land - he can make the rules after I'm gone.

So I figure I'll scout out the stands he wants me to use, and go climb in them and see how much swing-room there is for my rifle, etc. I'm too lazy and unmotivated to hunt today, even though it's opening day, but I figure I can at least check things out. I tell him that's my plan, and he says there's no point in going out today to hunt due to the wind, and that if I go out there, I'll just scare the deer and won't get one tomorrow. He rolls his eyes and says he's heading to the hardware store to pick up some stuff.

I wait until he pulls out before I head out, so he won't see that I just put on my 'chore' coveralls, which smell strongly of diesel fuel, and grab an orange cap. I am not even wearing my hunting boots - just my chore slip-ons, which have all sorts of yard-smells on them, but I figure I'll humor my son, and at least not walk the short path, since I'm not exactly de-scented.

I get all the way to the first stand, and it is soooooo high. I think I'll get a nosebleed. I get up in it, and there is a lot of wind (too much so that's why he's not hunting today and has to work tomorrow), so the tree is swaying WAY more than I like. I'll never be able to relax and doze off like I want to in that...!

I try the second one, and it is better, but no side/arm rests, and I feel like I'm not really secure, even if I wear my harness. Besides, if I got a deer there, it would probably bolt down into the deep ravine nearby, and I've had to help drag too many deer up out of there in the past. Not for me.

The third one is nice, but the area just doesn't have any 'ambience' as I gaze around, so I figure I'll go against his expert (he has killed more deer since age 13 than I have in my whole life) advice, and head down to my old stand and see if it is still climb-worthy. So I'm traipsing noisily down the hill, breaking sticks with heavy bootsteps, since I'm just checking things out and not really hunting. I notice that I'm walking with the wind at my back, and think I ought to find a better way to get to that stand due to the way the prevailing wind usually blows.

I get to the stand, and it's still ok, but the swing-down arm-rest is rusted in place, so I get out my Leatherman tool to turn the bolt a bit to loosen it, and the tool slips and rounds off the bolt head. So I just try banging on the bolt with it, to see if I can loosen it up. I hit my thumb and make it bleed, and swear, and hit it even harder. Finally the arm swings up so I can get in the seat, and I do that, hanging the unchambered levergun on the side-knob, where the sling lets it bang into the metal stand a couple times as I'm climbing. Finally I get up there, mutter "Whew...!" to myself, and grab the arm-rest to pull it down. It sticks, so I swear some more, and it finally slams down on the side-arms with a 'clunk'. I then get my rifle just to check the clearance and look around. As I swing it around, I see four deer (does) ambling down the valley - only about 50 yards away...! The only thing I can figure is that they must have been shot at last year and be deaf. Dumb too, as they are walking right over where where I walked, just browsing on fallen nuts, and must have been downwind from me as I came down the hill.

Anyway, I figure Darwin has a job for me, so I just put my Trijicon ACOG dot (my son also says that you shouldn't scope a levergun at all, and the Trijicon is only mean for AR'-15's and "looks ridiculous" on my 1894 Marlin) on the biggest one's chest and wait until she is where I want her to be when I shoot. I wait until she's just where I want her, and take the shot.

The reason I waited was because there is a drivable road that goes right in front of the shooting-bench, at about the 15 yard mark. She drops at about 12 yards - perfect....I climb down, walk the 200 yards back to the house, drive the tractor back there, and scoop up the deer.

Forty-two minutes after leaving the house, I've got the deer hanging by the back door. He pulls in the driveway, gets out of his truck, and I see him just shaking his head as he walks into the house.

A few minutes later he comes out and helps me take the hide off. He says nothing about the fact that I got a deer so easily and quickly, but takes the opportunity to tell me how the knife I'm using is a piece of garbage, and I should get one like his. I keep my mouth shut, because if I point out that he really DOESN'T know everything, he just might decide he's forgotten how to skin a deer, and it's cold out.... :D
Last edited by AJMD429 on Mon Jan 06, 2020 9:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Got a "stupid hunter" story?

Post by jnyork »

Standing joke here in the West: "OK, OK, lady, I give up, you shot it, it's your elk. Just let me get my saddle off him". :D
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Re: Got a "stupid hunter" story?

Post by Pete44ru »

.

AND, there's always the guy who shot a Spotted Elk...…….

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Which sprung to my memory of, years ago (early-mid 1970's), when my BF & I were registering our deer @ a Dover-Foxcroft (ME) checking station on the way home from camp, when a younger man drove up to register his kill.

Yup, it was a goat ! . :roll:


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Re: Got a "stupid hunter" story?

Post by Blaine »

"The Time A Squirrel Made Me Scream Like A Little Girl" by TubbyTheTuba :oops: :oops:

I was squirrel hunting with a buddy on the back side of Fort Ben Harrison. GREAT squirrel area. So, I shot this big fox squirrel on the ground and it ran up this tree. I looked and looked. I knew I had hit it because of the blood on the ground. I finally gave up, sat down and lit a smoke, all relaxed and enjoying life when the leaves rustled and the squirrel hit me smack on the head. It had died and fell out, and nailed me. Yes, I made a screech the likes of will never be heard again. Naturally, this happened as my buddy was just walking up. He is probably still laughing his butt off. :oops: :oops:
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Re: Got a "stupid hunter" story?

Post by jeepnik »

jnyork wrote: Sun Aug 26, 2018 4:08 pm Standing joke here in the West: "OK, OK, lady, I give up, you shot it, it's your elk. Just let me get my saddle off him". :D
Scary but true with some hunters in California.
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