OT A few laughs from the Internet

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Beaker
Levergunner 2.0
Posts: 338
Joined: Sun Jan 03, 2010 8:06 pm
Location: Central Kansas

OT A few laughs from the Internet

#1 Post by Beaker » Thu Feb 22, 2018 11:49 am

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.'
I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar coin back.'
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.'
The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the people at MacD's.

We had to have the garage door repaired.
The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.'
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used that repairman since...

I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEAR CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many dears are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE.
My daughter went to a Mexican fast food and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She is a government employee.....

When my husband and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a
service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
‘Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'
STAY ALERT!
They walk among us, they breed, and they vote…....
You now have 2 options...
Delete it…..
or
Send it along to put a smile on someone's face today!.
HAHAHAHAHAHA

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GunnyMack
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Posts: 1761
Joined: Mon Sep 19, 2016 7:57 am
Location: Not where I want to be!

Re: OT A few laughs from the Internet

#2 Post by GunnyMack » Thu Feb 22, 2018 3:23 pm

Many moons ago while Dad was still flying for Eastern Airlines he flew with a Captian that always announced to the passengers when they were taxiing into the terminal at San Juan about the cannons lining the runway.
One day a passenger asked the flight crew what the guns were there for and without missing a beat the old Captain said they were there to protect the airport during the Civil War...

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Rusty
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Posts: 8642
Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2007 6:37 pm
Location: Central Fla

Re: OT A few laughs from the Internet

#3 Post by Rusty » Thu Feb 22, 2018 5:48 pm

The worst part is that they vote.
If you're gonna be stupid ya gotta be tough-
Isiah 55:8&9

It's easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled.

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BlaineG
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Posts: 25871
Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2007 2:22 pm
Location: Spanaway, Washington

Re: OT A few laughs from the Internet

#4 Post by BlaineG » Sun Feb 25, 2018 2:17 pm

GunnyMack wrote:
Thu Feb 22, 2018 3:23 pm
Many moons ago while Dad was still flying for Eastern Airlines he flew with a Captian that always announced to the passengers when they were taxiing into the terminal at San Juan about the cannons lining the runway.
One day a passenger asked the flight crew what the guns were there for and without missing a beat the old Captain said they were there to protect the airport during the Civil War...
The old Spanish battlement in Panama City, Panama had old cannons. I took a lady Military comrade to visit and had her believing that the cannons were to protect the canal from bombers. :lol: :lol: A clarinet player..go figger.
“I was not born to be forced. I will breathe after my own fashion. Let us see who is the strongest.”
― Henry David Thoreau, On the Duty of Civil Disobedience

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