Best one liner ever!!!

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wvfarrier
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Best one liner ever!!!

Post by wvfarrier »

I just read the best one liner!!

"You touch her again and i swear to GOD, i will set you on fire and put you out with a fork!"
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JerryB
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Re: Best one liner ever!!!

Post by JerryB »

Reckon that's not a man to mess with !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Rusty
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Re: Best one liner ever!!!

Post by Rusty »

Somebody must have been mad.
If you're gonna be stupid ya gotta be tough-
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Re: Best one liner ever!!!

Post by piller »

I have known a few who would be able to carry that out.
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GunnyMack
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Re: Best one liner ever!!!

Post by GunnyMack »

Now that line really says something! I like it!
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Old Ironsights
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Re: Best one liner ever!!!

Post by Old Ironsights »

Nice... but then I like the "spoon" argument...

The steak knife is discarded.

The fork is casually thrown to stick in a wall.

Then the Spoon and the Shining Look comes out...

Image

Amazing fight stopper, that....
C2N14... because life is not energetic enough.
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fordwannabe
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Re: Best one liner ever!!!

Post by fordwannabe »

A guy I used to drive truck with was 6 foot 10 inches tall and admitted to weighing 425 pounds( my guess is that was alittle lite but I wasnt gonna argue). One night a dirtbag was harassing a bar maid at a favorite watering hole. Brian leans over to Mr. Dirtbag and in an even tone ask him...Yoou know that lady is a friend of mine right? Now do you know how long it is going to take me to make sure I break EVERY bone in your body? Mr. Dirtbag remembered he had someplace else to be at that exact moment. Bartender not the bar maid, made sure Brian drank for free the rest of the night. That is my favorite one liner I have heard in person.
a Pennsylvanian who has been accused of clinging to my religion and my guns......Good assessment skills.
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Old Ironsights
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Re: Best one liner ever!!!

Post by Old Ironsights »

That line is best served up with either a tack hammer or a small pair of Vice Grips...
C2N14... because life is not energetic enough.
מנא, מנא, תקל, ופרסין Daniel 5:25-28... Got 7.62?
Not Depressed enough yet? Go read National Geographic, July 1976
Gott und Gewehr mit uns!
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jeepnik
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Re: Best one liner ever!!!

Post by jeepnik »

Old Ironsights wrote: Fri Dec 01, 2017 12:36 am That line is best served up with either a tack hammer or a small pair of Vice Grips...
If we're talking Pulp Fiction I thought it was pliers and a blow torch.
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Griff
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Re: Best one liner ever!!!

Post by Griff »

Best one-liner I ever said... "if you take that pistol out your holster, I'm going to shove it so far down your throat, it'll only come out your ***." Said so softly that none of the 4 guys holding me from beating him to a pulp or the 3 guys trying to drag him away didn't hear it. But... he sure did! His eyes went wide open, and his fingers unwrapped around the grip...
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model55
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Re: Best one liner ever!!!

Post by model55 »

Had one from working custody but will refrain as this is a family site.
HawkCreek
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Re: Best one liner ever!!!

Post by HawkCreek »

Griff wrote: Fri Dec 01, 2017 1:14 pm Best one-liner I ever said... "if you take that pistol out your holster, I'm going to shove it so far down your throat, it'll only come out your ***." Said so softly that none of the 4 guys holding me from beating him to a pulp or the 3 guys trying to drag him away didn't hear it. But... he sure did! His eyes went wide open, and his fingers unwrapped around the grip...
Back in my younger days I screamed in a cops face that I was going to shove a good gun up his... "behind" if he called.my fellow Marine a terrorist again. I honestly thought i had thought those words to myself but i found out the next morning i really did yell in his face. I didn't touch the hard stuff for a few years after that.
Last edited by HawkCreek on Sun Dec 03, 2017 11:31 am, edited 1 time in total.
gcs
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Re: Best one liner ever!!!

Post by gcs »

There was a movie with Burt Reynolds where he was "talking" to some hillbilly moonshiner, the moonshiner was holding this huge bowie knife and making veiled threats. Burt looks him in the eye and asks in a friendly voice, " how'd you like me to shove that knife up your ***"?

Hillbilly was stunned quiet then said, "Why I wouldn't like that at all...."

Yeah it was a movie, but still a good line, lol
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gundownunder
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Re: Best one liner ever!!!

Post by gundownunder »

I was 50 and a work colleague was 25. The receptionist was 18, and she told me he was putting the hard word on her.
I told him that if he tried to chat up my girlfriend again, I would break every bone in his body and defecate on what was left.
She told me it was a pleasant place to work after that.

When my daughter was 14, she met a guy who was 18. When I met the guy I told him, "if you are seen in the company of my daughter without her mother being present, I will not call the police and your body will never be found". He never saw her again.

The right words at the right time can have a big impact.
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OldWin
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Re: Best one liner ever!!!

Post by OldWin »

A buddy and I got braced by four guys in an empty parking lot one night (long story).
After a couple seconds the fear just passed. I looked at one of em and said, "We're gonna get azzes kicked, no question of that. But you, just you, I'm gonna hurt you bad."
They actually backed down. I was sure glad. :D
"Oh bother", said Pooh, as he chambered another round.
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Nazgul
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Re: Best one liner ever!!!

Post by Nazgul »

My daughter was a waitress in a busy local restaurant while in college. She was very good looking. The little p*ck*rhead manager was bothering her after she told him to knock it off. I stopped on my way home from work late on night just to check on her. There was a tandem wheeled wrecker in the parking lot. When I got to the counter I sat next the man driving the wrecker. He took up 2 stools, was about 6'8-10" tall and at least 390-400 lbs. My daughter come over and I asked her about the manager, he had not said much to her that night, she went on to serve other customers.

The giant next to me says " Excuse me, I did not mean to eavesdrop, but is that sh*t h*ad bothering your daughter? He is after my wife too!". I said well yes he was, he replied "That's it!! I am going to rip his head off and sh*t down his neck!!"

Told him to have at it, I would give him first dibs....

The guy never bothered my daughter after that, not sure what the giant did.

Don
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Ysabel Kid
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Re: Best one liner ever!!!

Post by Ysabel Kid »

Nazgul wrote: Sun Dec 03, 2017 9:10 pm My daughter was a waitress in a busy local restaurant while in college. She was very good looking. The little p*ck*rhead manager was bothering her after she told him to knock it off. I stopped on my way home from work late on night just to check on her. There was a tandem wheeled wrecker in the parking lot. When I got to the counter I sat next the man driving the wrecker. He took up 2 stools, was about 6'8-10" tall and at least 390-400 lbs. My daughter come over and I asked her about the manager, he had not said much to her that night, she went on to serve other customers.

The giant next to me says " Excuse me, I did not mean to eavesdrop, but is that sh*t h*ad bothering your daughter? He is after my wife too!". I said well yes he was, he replied "That's it!! I am going to rip his head off and sh*t down his neck!!"

Told him to have at it, I would give him first dibs....

The guy never bothered my daughter after that, not sure what the giant did.

Don
I guess this is what puzzles me about all the sexual harassment stuff coming out of the woodwork right now. Don't these women have fathers, brothers, husbands, sons, boyfriends, etc? I guess we've really fallen as a society. :(
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Old Ironsights
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Re: Best one liner ever!!!

Post by Old Ironsights »

Ysabel Kid wrote: Mon Dec 04, 2017 5:15 pm...

I guess this is what puzzles me about all the sexual harassment stuff coming out of the woodwork right now. Don't these women have fathers, brothers, husbands, sons, boyfriends, etc? I guess we've really fallen as a society. :(
If they do, they are either Metro or Cuckhold...
C2N14... because life is not energetic enough.
מנא, מנא, תקל, ופרסין Daniel 5:25-28... Got 7.62?
Not Depressed enough yet? Go read National Geographic, July 1976
Gott und Gewehr mit uns!
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fordwannabe
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Re: Best one liner ever!!!

Post by fordwannabe »

Have you seen today's politically correct "man". My sister could put a big can of whoopazz on them and she's dainty.....raised with three big brothers but dainty. I look at young women and the "men" they think are Cool and think what is that little thing gonna do for you in a crisis..explain to a thug about how they are really just underprivileged :o
a Pennsylvanian who has been accused of clinging to my religion and my guns......Good assessment skills.
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